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Am I doing it all wrong???

10 replies

jadericho · 07/09/2018 09:39

My baby is 14 weeks old on Monday and I think we've hit the 4 month sleep regression or something. He was previously a brilliant sleeper, slept for 3-5 hour stretches over night or would mostly only wake once for a feed. Happy days. Of course it doesn't last as they change and develop so quickly but having had about 2/3 weeks now of severely interrupted sleep (he's waking up every 1-2 hours) I'm running on empty and I'm getting to the end of my tether. My other half doesn't 'help' because he works nights/afters Monday to Friday but to be honest I've never really been bothered about him not doing the night shift because I'm breastfeeding sooo. I know I can express but that's a whole other issue. I struggle to get enough for a full feed for him plus I honestly feel like I just don't get chance. Me and my boobs would just like some peace and quiet so when little one is finally asleep the last thing I wanna do is even think about expressing, I just wanna sleep. End of. But I'm thinking of asking him to get up with him at night on the weekends and either reluctantly try and express or just give him formula just so I can get some actual decent rest. But I digress. So basically in the day my little one has always struggled with nap times. He only naps for a decent amount of time if he's been held. If he's in his cot he'll nap no longer than 30 minutes and that's a fluke more often than not. He struggles to go down. He hates dummies. Has done from day one. He has tongue tie issues which are now sorted but even now he still won't take one. So I'm a human dummy. I breastfeed him to sleep for his naps or he simply won't.I breastfeed him to sleep at night. And as I was googling the 4 month sleep regression I basically now feel like I'm doing it all wrong by breastfeeding him to sleep. There's so much conflicting information. I don't do baby books for that reason. My whole parental philosophy is to just go with the flow and by that I mean essentially let me baby tell me what to do. Which has been working in the sense that I know my baby and what his cues and different cries mean.. so I know that when he wakes in the night he wants comfort feeding so I give him the boob until he falls back to sleep. But apparently, according to numerous sites, doing so is wrong and and I'm basically creating a rod for my own back and I've read nothing but horror stories like 15 month old still waking hourly for boob. And in my current deliriously tired state, I'm not gonna lie, it's scared me and I'm now full of self doubt. Anyone dealt with anything similar?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
StinkySaurus · 07/09/2018 16:51

Yes I just went through the horrible 4month sleep regression with wakings every 1-2 hours for a couple of months! I feel like we are now just out of the other side, my LO has managed two 8 hour stretches in the last 2 weeks and a few 4 hour stretches too. Wakings have gotten shorter too.

I changed nothing and just rode out the storm and then it just got better. I continued to feed to sleep throughout.

BlueMoon33 · 07/09/2018 17:19

I’m interested in this, my DS is 4 months old today and then last three nights have been exhausting, waking every 1-2 hours. He’s never been the best sleeper but just as a tease the last 3 weeks he had started sleeping through and we’d had two 8hour stretches!
He been happily sleeping in his cot but am going back to our previous set up of other half in the spare room (so one of us is sane) and me co-sleeping with the baby.
Dont stress about right or wrong OP, I’m BFing to sleep cause it’s the quickest and gentlest way for both of us. I like to read kellymom.com to keep the faith that it’s all normal and good for the baby, they will sleep eventually!!
I’m not willing to think about the fact that this could go on for weeks or months. What I want to know is there anyone who didn’t experience too long a spell of bad sleeping at 4 months? I’m hoping this is just like other growth spurts than just lasted a week or so of bad!!

StinkySaurus · 07/09/2018 17:23

Sarah Ockwell Smith is also worth looking up

SnuggyBuggy · 07/09/2018 17:23

From what I've read on wonder weeks it sounds like a real neurodevelopmental growth spurt so I'm really reluctant to limit my DDs feeding TBH. Just hoping things will improve.

arbrighton · 07/09/2018 17:28

Yes, 15 month olds can also wake quite often. But BF is the EASIEST thing I have to get him back to sleep quickly....

Rod for own back is BS.

StinkySaurus · 07/09/2018 17:34

Instead of thinking ‘how can I make my baby sleep more’, think ‘ how can I get more sleep’. So get your partner/ Mum/ friend to take the baby for a couple of hours when they can so you can sleep or take a bath or just relax and recharge. Or if you can cosleep ( this didn’t work for me).

arbrighton · 07/09/2018 17:42

Definitely what @StinkySaurus says

BlueMoon33 · 07/09/2018 17:52

Yes thank you for reminding me StinkySaurus, I really like Sarah Ockwell Smith.

I found this
sarahockwell-smith.com/2013/08/29/help-my-4-5-month-old-is-sleeping-like-a-newborn-again-aka-as-the-4-5-month-old-babies-from-hell/

I’m gonna have to read it to my other half and explain what we might be in for!

StinkySaurus · 09/09/2018 10:20

@Bluemoon that’s a great article. The milk meg is also a reassuring place themilkmeg.com

BlueMoon33 · 09/09/2018 15:01

Thanks, that’ll be my bedtime reading tonight sorted!

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