Still breastfeeding a 10 months old 6 to 10 times a fucking night!!!!

[lizzlebizzle33]

Help me help me help me help me

PLEASE!!!!

Baby wakes every 1 to 2 hours, on a good night, less than that sometimes.
I am done co sleeping, it was our saviour for a while but it's become a fucking nightmare, he tosses and turns, pokes me in the face, grabs my lips and he has developed a really annoying obsession with my arm pit!!!

So the only way I can get him back to sleep when he wakes is on boob. I try shush pat, CIO, rocking, singing, nothing works, he just gets more worked up til I give in. He is 1 next month for gods sake, we should be past this. I am going mad 😩😩😩😩

Sounds tough, but think about it from DS point of view, you've always been there but now you're not. He knows no other way than to call out to you. He needs to develop the confidence to sleep on his own, have you got comfort items for him like blanket or teddy? If he won't take them, take them everywhere and have them there when you comfort him so he learns they are something nice.

In terms of going from co sleep to him being in his cot I'm not sure, there are probably certain methods that work better.. hopefully others can help you. It's not going to be a quick fix though.

How long did you do cio for? 1 night, or more?

We have co slept on and off since 3 months, he always starts the night in his bed but as the night goes on and I can't physically stay awake sat up feeding him anymore he ends up in our bed

About that age (for 2 kids) I night weaned. Partner went through with a cup. Took about 2 bad nights. I recall him telling me on about ds crying, dh goes in, ds sees it’s not me. Looks at him 🤨and rolls over and goes back to sleep.

I think like a PP this is when I stopped all night feeds. Like PP - sent DH in with cups of milk of water - which were ignored. Started on a Friday and it was over by Monday. There was crying but my DH sat in with my DD and napped in the day to make up for the broken night, poor lamb .

I did it for my own sanity and mental wellbeing - I was OUT OF MY MIND with tiredness by this point.

Sending you huge and wishing you the best of luck.

Aww you have no sympathy, we were the same at that age and then at 13 Months my baby suddenly slept through the night - what a difference! Now at 19 Months he is a great sleeper (we did have some hiccups along the way though). We got my husband to do the bedtime lay down. So I feed the baby but stop before he is asleep and then DH takes him and puts him in the cot. The first night he cried for 40 minutes. But my husband was right there with him and so I knew it was because he was cross and upset not having mummy rather than because he was scared, iykwim? The next night he cried but for a much shorter time and within days he went down much without crying for my husband. I think that helped break the feed to sleep association as he naturally started sleeping longer stretches.

Then at 13 Months my husband went it to settle him back to sleep on any wake ups before midnight - and then all wake ups once that was working. And within a week of doing that, he was sleeping through rather than waking 2-3 times a night!

I can’t promise it would work for every baby but this was gentle and really worked for our son. Best of luck. Sleep deprivation is so tough.

We had this at eight months with one of mine. We got a sleep consultant!
She basically told us to do gradual retreat.

She said if we get him to sleep the first time without feeding, then he won’t expect it in the night and it was true.

So we let him cry (but sitting right next to him). The idea is that you don’t touch, but I did have to pat a bit. Subsequent nights you don’t touch and move a few inches away so that after a coulpe of weeks you’re out of the door.

First night he stirred once at 9pm and I patted back to sleep. That was all. It was amazing.

It would be worth googling gradual retreat if you want to try as I’m sure I haven’t explained it brilliantly.

Hope you find something that works.

Did exactly the same as previous posters with DH and water, for both kids, both at around 10 months. Took about 3 nights of misery, then they stopped waking to feed (would still wake for other reasons, but generally started sleeping better).

After a couple of weeks, I could go to them in the night and they wouldn't look for milk at all.

I carried on breastfeeding both of them in the daytime till they were three and a half, so it didn't interfere with that.

It's weaning time, He should only wake up at a maximum of twice per night. He has to learn the skill to back to sleep on his own, he uses the breast to go back to sleep. Also have you started to feed him solid food ? Load him with a strong meal before he goes to sleep, I had one meal plus milk and another feed in the wee morning. (breastfed up to 22, and 24 months) that should be about right. Weaning is a slow process, It's step one, all that was said above works. Thumbs up Great Mum a bumpy week ahead, (or a little more...) The dad thing works, because he knows by now dad does not have milk, and he's not coming with a bottle, he will fuss less. You can try to do that from Friday night, by Monday you might be free ! Sweet dreams.

It's weaning time, He should only wake up at a maximum of twice per night. He has to learn the skill to back to sleep on his own

Couldn’t agree less with this.

8-11 months were very rough for my waking every hour only feeds back to sleep baby. After 12 months it got much better.

My youngest was exactly like that. You have my utmost sympathy, very few people actually genuinely know what it's like. A baby who wakes 2 or 3 times per night is not in the same universe of experience as one who wakes hourly.

I night weaned at 13 months. I hate to say this, but where nightweaning had stopped my eldest from her once or twice a night night waking, it didn't have any impact on dc3's sleep at all. He wanted body contact to fall asleep, and woke when I moved him. Once night weaned he wanted to sleep on rather than next to me - he'd only sleep literally lying on me, his body on my belly and his head had to be on my head, and he'd play with my ear. Honestly it nearly drove me clinically insane from sleep deprivation, but left to himself he'd just scream til he vomited - didn't help that he could climb out of his cot by then either

Eventually at age 2.5 I told him that mummy would break if she couldn't sleep the whole night I hated myself for it but it wasn't exactly blackmail because it was true by that point. It also worked.

I got him a cd player for his room because he still wasn't sleeping through, but was getting up to play instead of coming to me. From about 3 he settled into turning the cd player on very quietly if he woke in the night, and staying in bed unless he needed the toilet.

He's 7 now and usually sleeps through but not always, but he rarely disturbs anyone. He's still very "sensory seeking" (incredibly tactile and cuddly) and also very intense with eye contact and declarations of love He's also hilarious and delightful. I think the sleep problems were his personality though (and problems for me but not him).

My saviour was my late mil who had him overnight every six weeks or so.

I'd urge you to try leaving him with your DH or grandparents occasionally and getting a full night's sleep once in a while once you night wean, to help you survive.

You have my sympathy! I nearly lost my mind through sleep deprivation with DD2 as she was waking every 30-90 minutes all night every night without exception at that age.

I might weaned her at 11mo. I went completely cold turkey on the night feeds but got into the cot with her and cuddled her instead. The first night she cried for two hours but I was with her the whole time until eventually she realized she wasn’t getting any milk. The second night was much better and from the third night she started sleeping 5-6 hour chunks which, for anybody with a terrible sleeper, is like winning the lottery.

My advice would be to take the decision to do it and see it through. Withholding BFing and then giving in is just confusing the baby. That’s why I find the cold turkey method best rather than a more gradual approach. I think it’s also important to find a good time - we did it over a bank holiday starting on a Thursday so I knew I could get through the worst of it whilst my husband was around.

Good luck!

Is he eating well on the day? I did the pantly pull off / no cry sleep solution thing around 8-9 months where I wouldn’t let him feed to sleep. Google it for details - but basically you take him off the boob just before he falls asleep then if he cries put him on again but off again before sleep till eventually he’s so tired he gives in to falling asleep off the boob. It’s slow hard work but for us we got to sleeping through at 10mo after doing this for two months.

We had the same this age. I went on a business trip for 2 nights, so baby had to manage with DH and no boob. He has slept through the night ever since.

Have a read of Jay Gordon's night weaning method. It's a little long winded but gentler if you don't want go full on cold turkey at night straight away. It worked really with DD who was a boob monster at night.

Watching with interest - I'm in exactly the same situation with my 7mo; she wakes every 90 minutes / 2 hours without fail (as she has done since she was born) only feeding her will send her back off. I'm exhausted!