Help! Encouraging my 10week old DS to sleep through at night....

[bigbird1972]

I know this has probably been done to death but please bear with me!

DS2 is 10 weeks old, was a healthy 9lb at birth and has 6 x 6-7oz bottles in 24 hours - putting on weight well (in 91st percentile) For last few weeks he's been in a '6am, 10am, 2pm, 6pm, 10pm, 2am' routine and seemed quite happy with it.

Trouble is, I really want to start trying to get him to sleep longer throughout the night, and have read so many books in the last few days (Contented Baby, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer...etc) so know roughly what to do i.e fit 6 feeds in between 7am/7pm and try to limit sleep in day. But don't know where to start/how to get started.

But how on earth do you keep a 10week old awake when all he wants to do is sleep? Have tried fresh air, talking to him, putting him on his play mat, etc etc, but more often than not, this makes him cranky because he's got overtired/overstimulated! And so we go round in circles....

Tell me, am I being unrealistic to expect DS2 to sleep longer? DS1 was a 'perfect' baby so haven't had to go through this before...Recently, DS1 (now 3.5) has woken up a few times during the night because he can hear me feeding DS2, or waking up between 5-6am (as opposed to 7.30am when he used to)and not going back to sleep. This then makes him really tired through the day..
Advice/experiences/suggestions all gratefully received!

Sorry, not much help, 10 weeks is still very young, my dd 15 months has only just started sleeping through.

Honestly? I think you're being unrealistic. He's only tiny, and it sounds like he's doing great already! My dd (also 9lb at birth and tracked 91st centile for months) didn't go as long as yours does until she was several months old. In fact at 7 months I was still up to her 7 times a night, so I'd say you don't know how lucky you are.

Forget the books - the babies haven't read them - and roll with it.

Yes I'm afraid you're being unrealistic
You'll just make him and you miserable if you try and keep him awake in the day when he wants to sleep. I think he's on the perfect routine for a 10 week old tbh. He'll drop the 2am feed when he's ready.

You are being unrealistic IMO. At 10 weeks old he needs regular feeds, sleep during the day and a parent who is responsive to his rhythms.

In time he will sleep for longer stretches between feeds.

You could start putting him down for daytime sleeps at similar times so that he gets used to a pattern, but beyond that I think you need to go with the feeding flow. He will have growth spurts, developmental leaps that will throw night sleep off course anyway.

my only suggestion is to try and feed smaller bottles at 2am to make him hungrier during the day/want the day feeds closer together.

Thanks for your comments...I have to admit I have been swayed by others 'helpful' comments/questions like "Oh is he sleeping through the night now?" and "My baby slept through at 5 weeks...." and crap like that.

TBH I'd forgotten how vulnerable new mums (ok..me are, and how very unhelpful and unconstructive these sort of comments from friends/colleagues can be.....

Have to admit, previous routine worked well - but my only concern was recent affect on DS1 (hope it's just a passing faze, plus lighter mornings etc).

Still interested to know if anyone has had success with instigating a routine?

thanks cargirl, good tip....

yes I managed to instigate a routine really well but I think some babies are just more adaptable than others, also helps if you don't let having a full tummy a sleep association. TBH one at night for a feed is still good going (but yes hard work!). I also didn't share a room so I only hear them if they cried rather than stirred IYSWIM so perhaps that helped???

You've got my sympathies. Having an easy baby followed by a toughie is a hard way round to do it. My first was the hard nut.

That said I still had similar problems to you with ds2 for first few months. Ds2 was 8 13 at birth and quickly grew to just over the 98th centile. He was always asleep and has always shared a room with his 3.2 (at birth) year old brother.
I was VERY stressed about history repeating itself and the implications for my life and the resulting lack of attention to ds1. I also worried loads about him not following the routine I'd set for him, but once I calmed down a little discovered it actually made no difference to how he slept at night.
I made sure the naps he should have were ones where he got good quality sleep - so he was preferably in his cot where he wouldn't be disturbed or in a still pushchair with a cover over with his sleep-time cuddlies etc. If he wanted to doze off during awake time he could, but I'd put him down (so he wasn't so cozy) in the same room we were in (so not nice and quiet either). I'd also gently tickle him awake to put him down for official naptimes (sounds mad I know) and I'd always wake him and give him some attention when it was time to and made sure others did too (they then thought I was mad too).
Ds2 is now 5.5 months and sleeps like clockwork and is a very happy baby. (He 'woke up' at around 4.5 months iykwim.)

With regards to night sleep I used a mix of techniques. My main guiding one was the core-night principle: I knew that he could sleep x hours before needing a feed, so if he woke earlier I'd try and avoid feeding him. I bought him a dummy and would cuddle, re-do his swaddle and shush pat 'til he was calm, give him the dummy and switch his night tunes on and leave him. If I had to get up 3 times then I'd feed him the 3rd time.
I did it earlier than you, though. Started when he was 2 weeks which I know will get me shot down on here and did it very gently. The night he was 6 weeks he slept through 'til 7 from 10:30. At 6.5 weeks I discovered he could do 7 'til 7 without waking. So we did that 'til he was 12 weeks and I had 3 nights in a row of him waking (recognised his hungry! cry by then), so reintroduced the 10 pm dream feed.
We had problems with ds1 at 6 weeks because that was the time ds2 started being awake when we put him to bed at 7 (rather than comatose from his last feed). Actually it was a stage he went through of needing to cry for 5-10 minutes to get to sleep (and he did it every sleep/nap). Ds1 was very concerned to start with, but we'd sit with him reading a story or gently talking about our day ignoring ds2 until ds2 went to sleep and ds1 gradually learnt to fade it out and started saying goodnight to us to get rid of us.
Then at 15 weeks ds2 started a 7 week long phase of waking ready for the day at 4:30 - 6:00 am. For the first few days of this ds1 would wake really concerned, see us and sit up wondering what was going on. The first day I came downstairs with both boys after an hour or so, but didn't start the day (open curtains, washing hands, breakfast etc. 'til the normal time - so all fairly low key. So the next day ds1 wasn't that keen to get up and was happy to lie in his warm bed having some milk from his beaker while ds2 complained. I got us all up a little bit early and started the day. Third day ds1 again had some milk, but then went back to sleep despite ds2. For another few days I left a beaker in bed with him so he could sort himself out and now is not disturbed at all by ds2. Ds2's early waking was a killer, but apart from that first day I refused to get him up, even if it meant I was up from silly o'clock (in and out the boys room all the time) and gradually it did get later.
Both boys now sleep 'til 7-7:30 at the moment. I put the youngest to bed at 6:30 and spend 5 minutes reading, tucking him in etc and take the oldest up 10 minutes later. Ds2 is awake for ds1's stories most days.
When ds2 was waking early he'd be ready for his sleep between 8 and 8:30, which I'd allow, but I'd put him down for a top up at 10 for 15 minutes to keep the rest of his day on schedule as much as possible.

I think the key thing to remember is that when you have more than one things are much tougher to sort out because you've your other children to consider and they can disrupt what you're trying to do as well. I just think persistence and consistency when possible are the key. It's got to get better in the end or no-one would have more than one.

wow - thanks everyone. Made me realise that actually, DS2 is very good baby and so I'll:
a) smile sweetly at well meaning enquirers when they ask "Is he sleeping all the way through yet?" or "My son/daughter slept right through from 3 weeks old...."
b)put DS2 back on to his six, ten, two routine which he was comfortable with and so were we
c) wait for him to make the first signs of going longer for his 2am feed eg waking at 4am instead, or when he only drinks 2-3oz of his 6 oz bottle (or when he lays there and lolls the teet around in his mouth and starts 'chewing' it - does anyone else's DC do this?!
d) not wait so long to have 3rd baby so as not to get too used to having 8-10 hours sleep a night.... !!!

Thanks for comments - often helps to put your own situation into context/compare to others' situations.

It seems a very good idea to let him wake for his night time bottle rather than waking him. Otherwise waking at that time might become a habit for him, whereas if you let him wake when he is hungry you may well get a longer stretch of sleep. It worked with my dd, anyway.