How to tell the difference between hunger and feeding as a sleep prop?

[JaneEyreFunfair]

DD is nearly four months and feeds to sleep every night. It takes an hour, sometimes even two hours of sleepy feeding before she goes off deeply enough to be put in the crib.

Lately she has also started waking up again 45 minutes to an hour later and feeding for another 20 or 30 minutes.

Her night wakings are pretty variable - sometimes only twice, which I find very manageable, sometimes three or four times, which is a struggle, and last night five times.

When she slept better, I thought her giant bedtime feeds were just fueling up for the night and I was happy to do it. But when she wakes up a lot regardless, I wonder if a lot of it is just comfort sucking?

How do I know if I am giving her what she needs or just creating a sleep prop that doesn't help her and takes up my whole evening?

I have tried the 'Pantley pull-off' (taking them off the nipple when still slightly awake to see if they then drop off without sucking) but I can't seem to time it right because she seems to keep sucking while basically fully asleep.

She takes her day naps in the sling and has hardly ever fed to sleep during the day since she was about six weeks old.

She can sometimes self settle back to sleep after a night waking, but is nowhere near doing so at bedtime or for naps.

Is the sleepy sucking the fluttery non-nutritive type? My 3 month old does this, sucking but not swallowing much (it seems)

Remember there is a sleep regression around 4 months. It can be very tough. It's a useful time to help them learn to self settle but it's a hard slog and some babies are too young for it. If she can be settled any other way, being held/cuddles/rocked then it's non nutritional but if she keeps crying then she's probably hungry. It may be easier for your partner to settle her for the time being as she will be able to smell your milk. Also if its a sucky thing for comfort, a dummy could help massively.

I do think it becomes non-nutritive at some point in the feed - I try to watch for her swallowing but it's a bit hard to see in the dark! However, even when it gets fluttery, she will still root if taken off.

She can't seem to hang onto a dummy long enough - it always pops out.

Yes, I do think we are hitting the sleep regression, as her daytime naps are also getting shorter. But it's frustrating, as I know she can self settle sometimes, as I've seen her wake up in the night and go back to sleep.

If you know she's had a good feed say an hour earlier its unlikely that she'll be hungry again. Give back the dummy as many times as needed and maybe a cuddle. If you know she can go 3 hours between feeds she is able to do that at night. It'll be hard to settle her that way yo start with but will eventually get easier.

One tip- if you don't already. When you detach her slide a wet finger between breast and mouth to break the suction first. Kinder to your bupples and less likely to disturb her.