GERD/Colic/Reflux/Infant dyschezia/Dummy Issues - WTF is going on?

[FTMF30]

Hi all,

I'm a FTM so it may be that I am just royally f*cking up this fourth trimester so some words of wisdom would really help.

My 9 week old has gotten pretty clingy with sleep. He will only sleep solidly (well with 2 night feeds) if he is co-sleeping with me. And when I say co-sleep, he has to be snuggled right into my chest (I'm aware of the dangers of co-sleep, but this is the only way). He used to sleep on his own during the day when I could ace my technique of laying him down on the sofa ever so gently, but this has stopped. My body is aching from never having a good nights sleep and now having him plastered to me pretty much all day.

The problem lies with his poor little tummy. I will put him down for a nap and within 10mins, he's squirming and doubled over crying, grunting and quite often straining to poo. For this reason, he just does not sleep on his own anymore. This is really putting a strain on me as I get no relief. I love him so much but need some decent time when he is not attached to my body. To make things worse, time is scarce when he is awake but not crying (and sometimes screaming). It's like he spends 80% of the day straining to poo, despite not being constipated. He poos quite frequently and they are soft. I looked up the straining problem and it seems it's infant dyschezia. Has anyone else's LO suffered this? If so, when did it end? I was hoping it would be over by now as it's been going on for a month :|. We've given him a dummy which seems to soothe his bouts of crying in the evening (colic) but it is no contender for his poorly tummy and straining. I also don't want him to become too dependant on the dummy anyway

I've been to the doctors three times now and beginning to feel a bit of a fool as they say it's all a part of the newborn stage as his digestive system needs to mature. Surely this is not normal? He is in distress quite a lot. Can someone please offer some advice on how I can get him to sleep on his own and what to do about his constant poo straining/screaming? I've tried grip water and infacol but he hasn't taken to either of them very well. Any advice would be much appreciated. I'm losing my mind from exhaustion!

I feel for you. My LO had terrible gas until she was 4 months old. My doctor told me the same and she has now outgrown it (still not a great sleeper mind you lol).

You could try keeping him upright for 30 minutes after a feed, helps to get the milk down and work the burps out.

Would he sleep in a swing? I know it seems neverending but someday you will miss the sleepy cuddles! My baby only slept on me until she was probably 3 months!

Yes keep upright for 30 mins. Also my ds slept better ever so slightly tilted onto his side. I propped a bum cheek with muslins and upper back.

@mileyk90 Did your LO sleep in a swing? If so, what brand? I'm a little reluctant to buy a swing as he has two rockers he hasn't taken to, so don't want the swing to be another one of those things.

OP, I feel for you! I hate this bullshit of "it's normal, it's just their digestive system... it will be fine in 3 or 4 months". Ok then I'll just try not to die of sleep deprivation in the meantime! There's lots of newborns that aren't this bad so I don't know how they can just brush you off.
Can I ask if he is breast or formula fed? (I know these issues happen with both). We started on cow & gate and had all the awful issues you mentioned for the first 6 wks with straining, constipation, arching, screaming literally woke up every 20 minutes throughout the night and day. We then changed to 'Hipp Organic' and now she poos everyday without straining or crying. She sleeps in blocks of 2 hours (still not amazing but so much better), and some nights she'll even do 4 hour blocks

Yes, mine ended up loving her swing. She loves motion. I can't remember the brand, but it was a flat back swing so it kind of reclined a bit. Lots of people have good luck using a rock n play. I think that's what they're called.

Fwiw, DD has / had GERD and we had a terrible time with it. She was a feed refuser, couldn't be laid down on her back, and I spent many nights just propping her up straight between feeds so I slept very little. It was fucking Hell and I look back on those days and want to cry.

Even if you could just get him to nap in the swing once a day, it would atleast give you a little bit of a break !

@mileyk90 Ok, I'm sold. Will look into getting a swing. Thanks for the tip. Hopefully it works. I'm desperate so anything that gives me a glimmer of hope is nice!

@Mosret He's EBF which adds to the frustration. I've tried a no dairy diet for a couple of weeks but it did FA. You also can't be sure you've completely cut dairy because it ends up in all kinds of things. It's so frustrating to hear how many mums get the brush off from doctors!

Hi FTMF30, thank god it isn't just me! My LO is now 8 weeks old and has been doing this since he was 2 weeks old and it is not improving at all. I've been fobbed off by countless doctors and 2 different health visitors who said it was colic before he was even 3 weeks old so literally could not meet the diagnostic criteria. He will strain for hours to the point of screaming and then finally fart or poop and have a few minutes of relief before starting again. When he doesn't have anything to pass he's like a different child! The noise of him constantly bearing down is going to put me in the madhouse. Please tell me when it stopped and whether you found anything that helped? I'm desperate! 😭

Mine had this and would sometimes cry for twenty minutes or so before pooing. It was worst around 6-7 weeks then improved. I think it had settled completely by twelve weeks. He was also very windy which used to wake him up but that’s also settled now.