8 month sleep regression? Please send help!

[Strawbe]

Losing the will to live here...

DS is 8.5 months old and his sleep has never been brilliant sleeper, but he is currently waking every 2 hours (at least, every hour after 2am) and I think I'm losing my mind.

We co-sleep, but even this isn't helping. DS had a terrible time through the 4 month regression, waking every 45 mins for around a week or so at its worst. In total it lasted around 10 weeks for us. DS now totally refuses his cot and screams blue murder if you try and put him in there. I get no evening at all, as he's crawling so I have to stay with him while he sleeps on our bed. I'm no longer breast feeding as we couldn't get past him biting me when his teeth came through.

Additional info: he has his dinner at around 4:30-5pm, followed by a bath, quiet time (usually a book), bottle and sleep around 6:30pm. Goes to sleep very quickly in my arms, but seems to sleep very lightly - if I move within the first 45 mins he will wake up and cry. After this he seems to sleep ok until around 11, and then the 2 hourly wake ups begin. He wants to get up for he day at 4am, but I usually manage to feed or cuddle him back to sleep until around 5-5:30 (he's always been an early riser). He will typically have 2 naps a day of varying length 45mins-1.5 hours, one mid morning one mid afternoon and sometimes an early morning nap around 7am depending on what time he gets up. Fights every nap, I always try to get him to nap before he's too tired - his cue is usually becoming a bit quieter, which precedes yawning and eye rubbing. Even to the point he's started crying when I cuddle him now. He point blank refuses to sleep for his dad, as he seems to think daddy = play time. Will no longer sleep in the car, screams and screams until I pull over - up until now he's always been fantastic in the car. He's not overly fussed on his milk in the day, he will have milk but never huge amounts, loves this food though.

Does anyone have any advice for surviving this? Or any clue what's going on? Or even how long until I might see a light at the end of the tunnel? I'm seriously starting to wonder if he's ok, or whether something is bothering him? I have tried calpol a couple of times thinking his teeth may be troubling him but it made no difference.

I'm going back to work next week, and have a 50 min drive either side of long day - I'm genuinely a bit worried about driving while so exhausted. I'm so tired I'm starting to feel really down and struggling to keep everything in perspective, so any words of wisdom welcome. Tia

I have no advice but I think I’m going through the same thing with 8m old DD.

We’d gotten down to two night wakings at best then last few nights she’s been up crying pretty much every hour until 2am then some 2 hr stretches.

Same with the cot, yelling at being in there, we co-slept last night.

Went to see the GP this morning to try and get some help to manage my own exhaustion and health issues and she said DD should be sleeping through or waking once at this age- helpful!

She’s advised I speak to my HV so that’s my next port of call. I’ll keep you posted.

Such hard work isn't it!? Hmmm... not an overly helpful comment by your GP. Interestingly my HV said not to expect bf babies to sleep through until around 10 (I BF'ing until 6 months, although he still feeds in that style, little and often). I could happily live on one or even two wakings, but 5+ is just horrid.

Would be good to hear what your HV suggests, fingers crossed for some useful advice

*that should read 'I BF'd until 6 months...' damn sleep deprivation

I agree, I can cope with 2 wakings but 6+ is a joke! Had a pretty helpful conversation with the HV. She said that stretching feeds gradually is the right way to go about it, make sure they’re eating enough in the day, not taking too long day naps etc.

She suggested to leave LO to settle but go in and reassure with touch and voice when crying and leave when settled and repeat until asleep. Apparently at this age the night wakings not for hunger are out of habit and to let her know we’re there but let her develop the self settling skills. And be consistent, with me and DH on the same page.

She said it was a really common problem and having seen progress previously was a good thing.

She’s settled tonight with not too much fuss but I’m dreading the non-feed night wakes! We’ll see how we get on!

8-10 months was rough for us. It’s the time I very nearly broke - but I didn’t! After 12 months things got so much better, hang in there.

I have no advice but just wanted to say we are also in the same boat here. My daughters 9 month old is waking every hour at the moment. They both live at home with me so I can hear the shenanigans and last night she was up with her every 45 minutes.

She is cutting teeth at the moment but despite Calpol/Nurofen, the sleeping has not improved.

The Health Visitor also said to us that when she’s walking it might help as she’s very active so needs to burn off that energy. She actually started walking today so fingers crossed! We could all do with some sleep

Cottipus - how did you get on last night? We had 3 wakings but the first was within an hour of going down, he hadn't drunk much milk before going to sleep so I was expecting it. Still up at 5am - it's an ungodly hour, I loath waking up at this time. As a result he's mid way through his first nap of the day.

CrazyCatLady - pleased to hear things will improve eventually. You feel like it will never get any better when you're in the midst of it!!

MellowMelly - fingers crossed for some peace for you soon! DS has just started trying to cruise around the furniture, so hopefully this might wear him out a bit more (although he crawls round at a manic speed now!!!)

3 wakes isn’t that bad, especially if the first is at the start.

We had trouble settling, took some wake ups then a nearly 5 hr stretch until midnight feed!

Then up at 2am until nearly 4 (straight down after 2nd feed) then 3 hrs sleep until wake up at 7am.

That’s not a disaster for us. But I did get awfully fed up of going in and out of her room from 2am til 3.30am stroking and shhing her.

No two nights are the same, so let’s see what tonight brings.

Yes agree, has been worse! Oh that 2-3:30 time awake is tough - that's what I find the hardest, long wakings or difficultly getting back to sleep. I'm sure helping resettle will pay off in the end though!

I’m clinging onto what CrazyCatLady said about it getting better at 12 months- my expectations are so low though right now 😂!

How are you getting on Cottipus? Weirdly the last 2 nights DS only woken up once... which I'm enjoying but not going to take it as a given yet. It's like he knew he'd pushed me to the brink and thought he'd give me a break! Hope you are getting a bit more sleep too x

It’s been every 2 hrs here last couple of nights- she can’t decide if she wants to sleep on her front or not 🙄 so going in and turning her around only for her to turn back again and still cry...

Glad things seem to be improving for you

I’m holding onto the magic 12 month mark!