Putting the baby down drowsy but not asleep doesn't work....help!

[Blinkeyblonck]

So, we've hit the 4 month sleep regression and we've gone from an easy bedtime to a two hour hoo ha of sleeping in our arms then popping awake the second he goes down etc etc, you've heard it all before. I've read and read what to do and the same advice gets touted everywhere including putting the baby down when he or she is drowsy but not asleep. This has barely ever worked in four months let alone now! There is never a scrap of follow up advice about what to do when this doesn't work and your baby just cries and wakes up so please, can someone help!

What am I meant to do when the bedtime routine that was working is now not working at all? How do we put him down drowsy to avoid him not being able to self soothe when it just doesn't work? He loves the routine but the minute we turn out the lights and settle him on to our lap ready to watch for doziness, he starts to cry. He's not hungry, he's not cold, he's knackered and he wants to sleep but he's having none of it.

Is 'self soothing' just a made up thing for babies of his age and I shouldn't expect him to actually be able to do it? Blah. I don't know...please share and advise because I don't know what to do.

Thanks everyone!!!

No advice but commiserations. After a brilliant start with DS2 as he slept where DS1 didn't, we hit 4 months and I gave up and feed him to sleep and co sleep. I can move him over to the cot once he's been asleep deeply for a while but he always ends up back in for the next feed.

Carrying him around in a sling until he sleeps seems to work too, I think he falls deeply asleep more quickly in it and at least you can save your arms a bit of strain that way.

Same thing at the same time every night helps, but it sounds like you're doing that anyway. We never put DD up to bed, but kept her with us in her playpen. She's always settled in there and then we move her to bed when she's properly asleep. Never wakes up. (I know we're very lucky). DS is nine weeks and was a nightmare in thehe evenings until we bought a swinging chair. Now we swaddle him in there after his 7pm feed and he sleeps all evening then goes up to bed at 11 after another feed. We found that it's virtually impossible to put them to bed and leave them if they're not ready to sleep and it was easier to have them know you're the there but not engaging too much. Sorry that's not much use!

Whoever came up with the "sleepy but awake" notion has a terrible sense of humour. My 12 mo has done this a grand total of twice. We feed to sleep as its the only way he sleeps while I am there (he will drop off on DH arms, but not mine), so whatever works best for you, go with it. The 4 month sleep regression will pass.

Exact same here. We co slept and fed to sleep until 6 months then did sleep training, never looked back only took 3 nights

At 4 months I fed to sleep. I think 'drowsy but awake' is developmental, if they aren't ready there is no point.

Thank you everyone! Really useful to know there are lots of people out there having the same issues and that some of the professional advice is just rubbish!!! This too shall pass..... :)

I think we did what worked at the time, and still do. So feed to sleep/ rock/ cuddle/ sing/ whatever.

It's only now at 14 mo that we put DS into his cot and pat or sing and he gradually goes to sleep with us sat beside him. And it still takes a while. And we stay with him.

But then I wouldn't sleep train, or leave DS alone in his room, and haven't yet night weaned