9 month old sleep a disaster how do I fix it?

[Helsnewc82]

Hi
My 9 mo is a terrible sleeper. She wakes every 2 hours at night and has to be bf back to sleep. Then from 3am it's a struggle to get her to sleep for more than an hour at a time with a usual wake up for good time between 4-5.
During the day when she is obviously tired I try and put her down for naps and she just screams and screams and falls asleep bin my arms eventually. I'm feeling like a total failure as until 6 months she was a fantastic sleeper and then she had a nasty cold and I think I've created terrible sleep associations and now I don't know to fix it.
Our routine is as follows.
5am wake 😔
6am breakfast
7.30 bf
8 - 8.45/9 nap
10 snack + bf
12 lunch
1-2 nap
3 snack
5 tea
6 bedtime routine + bf with aim for 7 bedtime

Any tips / advice would be greatly appreciated as I'm really struggling. I have a toddler also so crying it out is not an option as it wakes the toddler who is a bad sleeper and once awake can't get back to sleep for hours ...

Thanks x

Hi OP, that sounds tough, my DD was an absolutely diabolical sleeper so I know how tiring and frustrating it is. As your little one is nine months she could well be in the midst of a sleep regression if this behaviour has only started recently. Does she sleep in a cot for bedtime and naps? We coslept with dd so it was a little different as I could simply bf to sleep in our bed and roll away once she was deep asleep. Didn’t stop her waking frequently though unfortunately, that part you just have to ride out. We found giving DD a small supper (buttery toast or similar) after her dinner filled her up and stopped her waking as frequently. Looking at your routine it doesn’t sound like you are bf her that much in the daytime, perhaps she is making up for it at night? You could try offering water to see if she is just thirsty, in this heat it’s a possibility. I used to bf dd before or after each meal she had and on demand through the day, she fed a LOT even past 1yo. For naps would your dd go to sleep in the pram if you went on a walk to the park with your 3 yo at nap time?

Your little one probably is too young to stop bf but to give you a glimmer of hope - Dd started sleeping through the night immediately after I stopped bf at 21 months, DP introduced a soft toy and a blanket at bedtime, and reads the same book (goodnight moon) twice at the end of stories, before cuddles then bed. I started just cuddling her back to sleep and she accepted very quickly - but we moved her onto a Montessori floor bed at 13 months and she was never in a cot so again I could just roll away. We stick to the routine by the letter and so far it has worked amazingly she sleeps through. I hope you find something that works soon OP, and that this phase of very little sleep is short lived.

Thank you for your reply. My HV told me to cut down on bf during the day and that in next few weeks I should be only feeding morning and night but reading your post I think I need to ignore HV and up feeds as i was wondering if she's not getting enough milk.
She does sleep in cot for naps and bedtime although quite often ends up in our bed about 3am!
I think I will try offering her water tonight and see what she makes of that
Thank you for response it made me feel better to know I'm not only one to go through this. Xx

Hi OP I'm following this post because my DS is exactly the same and our routine looks identical. Been that way for months, we have better weeks and worse weeks but this week is awful

I think your HVs advice seems counter intuitive, about feeding less in day but I am clearly no expert

I would actually like to stop bfing now just so DH could help me at night but my DS won't take a bottle or a dummy and just stopping feels much too cruel.

I think my DS eats pretty well so I don't think it is hunger related, I think it is just a comfort thing. He can self settle because he does it some of the time yet anyone I speak to just tells me I need to teach him to self settle!

Btw my DS is 9.5 mo apparently there is an 8-10 Mo regression... I'm hoping it magically improves at 10mo?!

HVs talk nonsense in my opinion most of the time. There is a huge sleep regression between 8-10 months, it was particularly rough for us but it will start getting better. Can you bring her into your bed at 3am?

Also 6pm is a very early bedtime, have you tried pushing back a bit?

Sorry, misread the 7pm bit.

It may not be for you anyway......but cry it out only took 2/3 nights for us. So it may be worth disturbing the toddler for a short time for the sake of sanity

Following this post as in identical position. Upthewolves, I could've written your post. Last night I lost the plot a bit

One thing I'll say is that I'm tired of hearing HV say we should cut down BF given that milk should be main source of nutrition until one....

Same here... DD wasn't great sleeper anyway but we had got into a manageable state.. now we are suffering 30 minute naps, and waking up every 45 mins- 1.25 the first half of night, and boob won't settle her!!! My OH can.

Hoping it's the regression. Can't bring myself to do any sleep training. She's a bit high needs so easily stimulated by the gentle methods, and CC is just too harsh esp as we also have teething and separation anxiety going on.

Hope it passes for us all soon. Back to work in 3 weeks!!!

Another one in the same boat! DS 9 months. Apart from the first three months he has always been a terrible sleeper. But particularly bad right now. His top teeth are cutting through, he has a cold, he's trying his best to walk...all these things are playing a part in sure but bloody hell it's hard work!! Last night I barely got any sleep. Sometjing has to change.

He's also a bottle refusing bf baby. Eats a lot of food during the day. Suspect boob for comfort at night but like the OP, I have a toddler so don't want to disrupt her by trying sleep training. I also don't feel ready to stop breastfeeding him yet.

Gah. It's a mess!

Not rtft sorry. Dc1 was the same. But, by the time he was 15 months old he was falling asleep in his cot from awake 7.30, and sleeping through til 5am. He dropped naps very early, has never needed as much sleep as recommended.

He's just 3 now, and sleeps 7.30 til 7 without a peep.

I could go into lengthy detail if anyone is interested!