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1yr only breastfeeds to go to sleep, how to wean her off the breast and on the bottle for bedtime - she has hated the bottle for many months?

12 replies

Eddles999 · 19/08/2018 21:55

Hi all, we've got a 1-year-old girl who is already fully weaned on solid adult food - she eats absolutely anything except formula - but still breastfeeds briefly before going sleep. She has already kicked off dummies (6mo), her finger/thumb (11mo) and bottles (4mo) all on her own to our surprise. She has been drinking sterilised water from her non-spill cup for many months without any issues. However, my wife need to start a number of medication very soon that absolutely don't allow breastfeeding at all. We've started trying to give our daughter cow's milk a couple of days ago, but she absolutely dislikes the taste, will spit and slap the cup away and start to cry if we try give it to her the second time. We've still got a large stock of frozen breast milk, so we want to slowly wean her off breast milk onto cow's milk using this stock.

Unfortunately she refuses to drink from the bottle even if there's 100% breast milk inside it, she cries and slaps the bottle away hard before she allows the teat in her mouth. She will only drink from her no-spill cup, we tried putting cow's milk in, she wasn't fooled and nearly stopped drinking from this cup when we went back to water. We don't want her to negatively associate her cup with milk, it's hard enough to get her to drink anything.

She will not go to sleep unless she's on the breast for 5 minutes, she only drinks a tiny bit of milk, uses the nipple more like a dummy before falling asleep. She was awake and crying for 4 hours last night until we gave in and gave her the breast, and she promptly fell asleep after 1 minute on the nipple.

How do we get her to sleep without needing to breastfeed/suck on the nipple? How do we try to get her to like drinking from the bottle? We've tried 5 different bottles with "natural" teats, but she immediately slaps bottles away on sight. She also refuses dummies and fingers/thumbs, and will cry if we try a second time.

Our current plan is to buy a different brand of no-spill cup (similar to what she has), try 100% breastmilk in that, if she takes it, then to wean her off breastmilk and onto cow's milk slowly. However we would like advice on the best way to do this as I doubt this will work, as I think she has associated drinking from the breast to sleep.

Thanks in advance for reading this far!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BrokenLink · 19/08/2018 21:59

No need to get her onto a bottle at age one. One solution would be for the other parent to settle her to sleep instead of mum. She will not expect a breadtfeed if it's not mum. If she eats plenty of dairy products and takes a vitamin d supplement, she does not need to drink milk.

Butterymuffin · 19/08/2018 22:05

Unfortunately I'm not sure there's going to be an easy way to do this. Maybe try an entirely new bedtime routine where a song or a story are the marker for going to sleep rather than milk in any form? And you doing this not her mum will help as said above.

Eddles999 · 19/08/2018 22:08

Thanks for prompt reply!

Will forget bottle & milk. I'm not certain that I (father) would be able to get her to sleep without the mother, as she's very attached to mother and mother has nearly always put her to sleep - I've tried many times, but she simply won't go to sleep without mother.

Any suggestions to the best way for me to get her to sleep?

OP posts:
catkind · 19/08/2018 22:12

I wouldn't try to introduce milk from a cup for bedtime - you'd only have to wake her up again to get her teeth brushed. At this age working on getting her settling without milk altogether seems more likely. What happens if your wife goes out? Being able to see mum/know mum is in the house and not getting milk is hard for a baby to understand. Mine settled fine without milk as long as I wasn't there.

catkind · 19/08/2018 22:15

How about you try just cuddling up with her. Maybe read stories till she drops off? The sound of your voice can be really soothing. I know not the forever solution but it sounds like at this stage anything that works to break the habit is going to be good.

legofairy · 19/08/2018 22:50

If you are trying to break the habit of feeding to sleep, put a little bit of garlic on the nipple. Baby won't like smell or taste and will refuse it. Try cuddling or rocking baby to sleep. It may take a few nights and lots of tears but baby will eventually learn to sleep without the breast. Once this habit is broken, baby will not be so reliant on mum and you should be able to help put them to bed.

BrokenLink · 20/08/2018 07:03

Regarding teaching your baby to fall asleep for you instead of mum, have faith! Every breastfed baby learns to do this one day. Perhaps it makes sense not to just take over at bedtime when she is tired. Maybe do the last meal of the day with her, then introduced the new bedtime routine, along the lines of bath, story, song/music, cuddle, sleep.

Cric · 20/08/2018 07:35

My DS was the same. We went cold turkey and had a few nights with lots of crying and cuddles, he soon realised and settled with a hand hold.

arbrighton · 20/08/2018 11:48

My husband couldn't settle DS before age 1 either but now he can do, in ways that I can't and often DS will go to sleep in minutes for him but just mess around for me.

I still feed at bedtime but mostly separate it from going to sleep. We have milk but then I say milk finished and we have cuddles. Then if he's still pratting about, DH comes in and gets him to sleep.

We're still working on not having night feeds.

Other ways of getting DS to sleep are pushchair/ carrier or quick car ride. Have you tried those?

Eddles999 · 20/08/2018 21:52

Well, that went a lot easier than expected! DD didn't miss her morning breastfeed. My wife had lots of problems with our DD refusing to nap for her mid-day nap, crying a lot, and after 30 minutes, luckily my wife's sister was there, so my wife asked her to take over, and DD was fast asleep after 2 minutes of rocking by auntie.

This evening, when she got ready for bed, she was signing "milk" "milk" but wife left the room immediately, and I rocked her, and after 10 minutes, she was fast asleep! Not one breast-feed for the entire day - success! Huge boost to my confidence! I know there'll be more frustrasting nights but most nights should be OK from now on.

Couldn't expect better, and am amazed how well DD took to not breastfeeding for the entire day, am very happy.

THANK YOU all for your fantastic advice and encouragement, you're all awesome!

OP posts:
catkind · 20/08/2018 22:13

Brilliant news, well done all! The first day's the hardest.

Cric · 21/08/2018 07:20

Yey!!

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