Newborn only sleeps when held

[ChipsnCurrySaucemmm]

Hi, my week old DD will only sleep when held. We get a maximum of 15 minutes if we put her in a sleepyhead but the moment she stirs she will wake up and be so unsettled usually only a breastfeed will calm her back down (and latch and sore nipples is another battle!) We are so concerned as we are struggling to even follow safe co-sleeping guidelines as she will cry when placed on her back between us - she must be held. Has anyone got any success stories?!

Yes, most newborns will only sleep when held but the older they get, the better they get at sleeping in cribs etc. Don't panic!

Really normal, as they get older they get used to being asleep in the crib. Google the '4th trimester'!

Congratulations

Yes it's very normal I'm afraid, my DD wouldn't sleep anywhere but on my chest for the first 4 or 5 weeks. We just had to keep swapping during the night so we could each get some sleep. It won't last forever.

Have you tried swaddling?
As the others say it's very normal.

Have you tried a vibrating/bouncing/swinging chair? Obv sitting upright isn’t recommended for a long time but it can buy you an hour’s nap when you’re exhausted. I used to put the vibrating bit under the Moses basket and stick on a white noise app x

I used to prop myself up with pillows, tucked under each arm as well so I literally couldn't move and then let baby sleep on my chest while I slept. Totally normal newborn behaviour. Honestly midwives should tell people that this will happen. It's shit to find out when you're massively sleep deprived and you think your baby is not normal because he/she won't sleep on their back in an empty crib.

Definitely agree with trying a white noise app, I know a little boy who sleeps best with the noise of a hairdryer playing! :)

Also, I've seen a post on Facebook where they filled a glove with rice and placed it on baby, gives them the impression someone's hand is on them (similar to being held I guess)

Perfectly normal! I'm currently stuck under my 8 week old.

I agree that midwives and health visitors should tell new parents about this. I understand the importance of advising people on SIDS guidelines but the fact you're told repeatedly to put babies to sleep on their backs in their own crib/cot makes you think this is something that will actually happen straightaway. Both of my babies have been like this - my parents advised me to "just put the baby down". Ah yes! I hadn't thought of that! Apparently that's what they did - well newborn babies must have been different in the 70s because all parents around my age seems to have the same problem.

We tried naps in various positions and places but sometimes the only place they'll sleep is on a human. It does get better after a few weeks, I promise.

Things that have worked for us are to always use a dummy for sleep, naps in a swinging chair, bouncy chair (with vibrate setting on), pram and by far the most reliable option is a sling/carrier. If you are wanting to put the baby down after they've fallen asleep on you it's best to wait 20 minutes so they're in a deep sleep.

At night we use a Miracle Blanket and Sleepyhead. The Miracle Blanket is probably the best item of baby equipment I've bought, it gives us a few hours at a time at night which is amazing.

Sorry that was a bit rambling but hopefully some of it was useful!

Oh yes, and white noise!

Yep, we had this and even tho it only lasted a few weeks, it felt like am eternity! Our issue was reflux. Once that was sorted, DC still wanted to be held but quickly acquiesced to the Moses basket for 3 hour naps and started sleeping through after 3 months. It's so trying now, but your baby will find their way and you'll barely remember this bit!

Thank you so much! It's reassuring to know we haven't set up something in the last week that's our fault!

its quite normal. It drove me mad with my first. He would only sleep on my partners chest face down for the first two weeks.... Then after that he would sleep between us in bed or in his car seat... none of which are considered safe! It drove me mad with stress but he was fine and after a few months started to settle fine on his back in the cot. Hes three now and sleeps through the night in his own room fine.

My second luckily will eventually settle on her back but does need to be rocked to sleep and does still prefer to be held.

I dont think sleeping on their backs is preferable to newborns at all in general. They want to be against you like they were in the womb.
Its very stressful trying to get them to adjust to sleeping on their backs.

Id try not to worry. As long as your baby was term and has no medical issues they are very unlikely to come to harm from sleeping on their front or on a person.. as long as you make sure there isnt loads of bedding on your bed and make sure not to fall asleep on the sofa or anywhere with soft cushions because of the suffocation risk if they fall out of your arms when you are asleep.
I always used to leave a lamp on too when my son was sleeping in our bed so that I could easily see where he was even if I was half asleep. Also made sure to always have the window open as it is hotter for them if they are in your bed.

It might be worth getting a sling so your arms are free.

Baby is fresh into the world, and untill then was warm and secure inside of you. It’s totally normal and natural for her to want to be close to you both. I agree that I have no idea why it is never mentioned as normal newborn behaviour.

Of course you’re not setting up something that’s your fault. You don’t need to worry about anything like that in the early days. Do what works for you and helps you through. At this stage it’s mostly trial and error. I had a Velcro baby and we used a tight swaddle, sleepyhead, white noise. A lot of co sleeping and letting baby sleep on my chest. It’s hard and exhausting but it will pass

Watching this thread as we're going through this too, and looking for tips!

This is our 3rd child but I don't remember anything like this with the first two!

Mine did that for first two weeks and then just seemed to get used to sleeping on his back on in the next2me bed. Though only at night in the day he still likes to sleep on me and is 13 weeks. We thought we were doing something wrong too and just took it in shifts to sleep , I just remember thinking how can it be this hard! Good luck :)