Stopped breastfeeding 2 year old two weeks ago. Now how do I get her to sleep?!?

[OhWhatAPalaver]

Sorry this is long but bear with me.
I always fed to sleep at night and during the night. Always. Now I have finally stopped bfing the boob monster and, surprise surprise, she doesn't know how to go to sleep without it.
We tried to build sleep associations with so many things but nothing has worked without boob. The only way I've managed to get her to go sleep is showing her videos (like baby einstein stuff) on my phone. This I'm aware is not conducive to good sleep habits but I was desperate and now this is where we are.

She has to lie in bed next to me and watch stuff then I transfer her to her own bed when she's asleep. And it takes forever, two hours most of the time. Not constantly watching stuff because she gets up and wants to play and wants a drink or needs her nappy doing or hears a noise etc etc etc.

I have tried getting her to lie in her bed with the tomy projector on (that I just bought in the hope she would fall asleep to it, with it being visual) but no. She won't lie still and watch it. She's all over the place. Gets screamy if I try and make her lie down. I really don't know what to do now.

Sadly videos have always been the only things that calm her down other than boob, which she's obviously not having any more, so we're a bit stuck. She doesn't even like me singing to her or rocking her or any other 'normal' stuff.

She normally wakes in the night and ends up falling back to sleep pretty quickly in our bed, sometimes even without the need for videos. Sometimes I stay awake long enough to transfer her back to her own bed but more often I'm too knackered and just let her sleep next to me.

We have always had a consistent bedtime routine as she goes up at the same time as my 6 year old, who has always loved her routine, but this doesn't seem to work with my youngest at all, and never has done. It was always the boob she was interested in, not the bedtime book or anything else, just boob. She was fixated on it.

For naps she goes in the pushchair, which normally takes about 5 mins so that's not an issue.

I know they're all different and everything but my 6 year old slept brilliantly from about ten months and was easily weaned off boob by 13 months.
This one however was obviously sent to break me and seemingly had no intention of ever stopping breastfeeding or sleeping anywhere other than next to my boobs. I think her sleeping habits were formed very early as she has allergies and suffered with terrible reflux and wind when she was tiny, only being able to sleep upright on me for a long time.

But I really need to get her to go to sleep properly. I'm exhausted and exasperated. Please help me before I actually lose the plot!

We let ds cry it out
Took three days
It wasn't nice
But it's what worked for us!

For quite a while after bfing stopped my toddler would fall asleep with one hand shoved down my bra! It comforted him for quite a while.

I'd recommend the Millpond sleep clinic's book. Can't remember what it's called but lots of good advice - it's on amazon.

Thanks for the replies.
Does anyone have any other ideas? I'm at my wits end tonight. She won't stay in her bed at all, I can't leave her to cry because my 6 year old won't be able to sleep and she gets very upset when her sister cries. I can't get her to put her hand down my top for comfort because she still thinks she is going to get fed 😳
I might buy the book but I could do with ideas in the meantime while I'm reading it! Sorry to ask again, I'm just exhausted and fed up of being screamed at every night 😪

I use a sleep/relaxation app with my twins. It's called Moshi Twilight. Has sleepy stories, guided meditations and music/white noise type stuff. I've been using it for the girls - I put "sleepy music" on and sit in the dark with them listening to the sleepy music. I'm hoping to make some sleep associations with it, to help them get to sleep much easier.

DS was 16months when we faced this so confined to a cot, which was easier. I'd always fed and cuddled him to sleep but he was getting too heavy to transfer. We figured if he could go to sleep in a cot at nursery he could do it at home. We put him in his cot and stayed with him, gave cuddles, milk and reassurance but did not take him out again. It took two weeks and was utterly horrific, he would scream and cry and sob in my arms reaching up over the cot for me for well over an hour but he eventually figured that the cot was where he went to sleep. I still sit with him until he goes to sleep and sometimes he insists on holding my hand and I still go to him if he wakes in the night and resettle him but he doesn't come out of the cot.
I have no idea how you transfer this to a child in bed but I wanted to give you another view that even 'cry it out' albeit with us there is not a magic few day solution for some children.

Oh and wed already tried all the gentle sleep associations, cuddly toys, the same story, white noise, music, dark, night light, projector - nothing had worked.
We now do one book on parents lap, one book in his cot, gro clock on, lights out, night night and tuck him in - we don't just dump him in the cot!

Hi, I feel your pain as I have a 19 month old who is also very sleep resistant!

I would move her bedtime later, if its taking 2 hours to go to sleep she's clearly not tired. We battled for ages to get her to go to bed at 7, spending hours getting her to sleep, where s.e would cry, mess around, throw all her toys out her bed. Eventually accepted she's just not tired and now put her down about 8.30 with the aim of being asleep by 9.

We have story's, sing a song, then lay down in her cot. I sit next to her and hold her hand, stroke her tummy etc but no talking. If she doesn't go to sleep within 15 minutes I leave the room for 5 mins, which usually leads to some, mostly annoyed, tears, I go back in, lay her down, and stay for 5 mins. Will leave again for 5 if she's not asleep by then, but 9 times out of 10 she will be asleep.

To be frank, you're not going to find a way of getting her to sleep which doesn't involve some crying at this stage, you just need to find whatever causes the least upset.

I was about to stop at about 2 when my son had an accident which required theatre and a zillion stitches. It was helpful because we had hospital time to talk about it and get him used to weaning odd when Home. Tbh his birthday was 3 weeks later and I sent OH off to bed with him and I hid out the way. It worked as we had switched the dynamic so I wasn't the one doing big boy bed time, dad did it. Cry it out isn't my thing and I won't say on here what I think about it but there are creative and positive ways to deal with the transition. Good luck

I echo sleep meditation apps. Peace out is good. They really do help when we are at the end of our tether x

I stopped feeding my 2.7yr old last week. My husband puts him to bed although he did before about half the time. He has figured out his own routine with teeth brushing, books etc. I’m just not making myself available at that time anymore.

I will definitely try the sleep/mediation apps, thank you.
I think part of the problem is that she doesn't want my OH. She just wants me, I'm what she's used to. He can't seem to get her to sleep other than going out with her in the buggy, which he did tonight (as I'd had enough) and she screamed nearly the entire time before falling asleep. She then woke when I transferred her to bed and ended up having to fall asleep next to me with nursery rhymes on anyway!
Thanks for the advice though, I think we can work with some of the ideas (hopefully!!) we are going away in ten days and really hoping for some improvement by then. I have no issues with being with her when falling asleep, i'm going to lose my mind if I keep having to listen to youtube nursery rhymes for hours every night though!