Beating the 40 minute nap

[MrsMcW]

DS is 4.5 months and sleeps well at night - wakes up around 5.30am but does sleep through from 10pm until then. However I'm tearing my hair out trying to get past the 40 minute nap cycle. I spoke to a sleep trainer who suggested he has an hour nap around 8am, then a 2 hour nap around midday, followed by a 30 minute catnap around 4pm to get him through to bedtime. However this seems to be a pipedream as DS seems to be physically unable to sleep longer than 40 minutes at a time, and consequently is so overtired by early afternoon that he is a nightmare until bedtime.

I've tried everything to extend the lunchtime nap. He goes down no problem - I make sure he's in his sleeping bag, feed him no more than an hour before I put him down, change his nappy, put on white noise, etc and he conks out within minutes. However 40 minutes later he is wide awake and thrashing around his cot, yelling for me. I've tried going to him and talking calmly to him, stroking his hair, rubbing his tummy. I've tried pick-up-put-down. I've tried giving him a few sips of water (he's FF) and then putting him back down, which is what used to work if he woke too early in the night, but no luck. I tried introducing a dummy, but he spits it out. I've tried both the pram and the carseat, but even with the motion he still wakes. I even tried just letting him cry it out for 3 awful, awful days while I sat sobbing outside the nursery door listening to him... this came closest to success as after an hour he was so exhausted he dropped off again, but I felt so cruel doing this that it's not a viable option. However nothing else has worked, and I'm getting desperate.

If I felt that he was doing well on just 40 minute catnaps then I'd just let him get on with it, but he's so cranky and tired that he obviously needs the sleep. And selfishly, I am longing for that small window of time each day when I can feel human again. Even though he sleeps well at night, he's so demanding during the day that I feel wrung out. My relationship with DH is suffering too as I'm too knackered for sex and permanently irritable with him.

Sorry for the very long post... I'm just looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. So many people told me it would get better when DS started solids but he started 10 days ago and there's been no difference. And please don't jump on me for starting him pre-6 months; HV advised it as he is huge for his age (99th percentile) and has reflux.

My dd used to sleep in 40 minute bursts too. She grew out of it starting from about 6 months.

Tbh a 'sleep trainer' suggesting something doesn't mean a baby will be willing to do it!

Will he have more 40 minute naps later in the day if given the oppurtunity? I remember my dd had a bizarre habit of napping for 40 mins, then 90 minutes later being ready for bed time and it didn't affect her sleep during the night at all.

DS used to do the same - awake for 90mins then sleeping for 40 - throughout the day but consequently didn't sleep as well at night. It's why I originally contacted a sleep trainer as it seemed he was sleeping too much during the day and so wasn't tired enough at night. However it seems to be an either/or situation...

My daughter used to always sleep for 40 minutes regardless of everything I tried but suddenly at 6-7 months learnt to extend them. I’d be tempted to say it’s an age thing and not to worry for now and just give more short naps. We were definitely on 4 naps at that age (and had some 4 nap days until 6 months ish). I remember stressing about it but perhaps it’s best to let yourself be guided by the baby for now although I understand the worry of how it might affect night sleep!

I know how you feel! My son is 7 months and is still napping 4 times a day for 30-40 mins at a time. Have you tried blacking out the room? It makes no difference for us but I know some people find that solves the problem.