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Original poster

Moving away from feeding to sleep

14 replies

helvetica01 · 08/08/2018 23:34

I have a 3.5 month old who's exclusively breastfed. She's colic-prone and has always cried a lot, so I've got into the habit of feeding her for comfort, including feeding her to sleep. I currently feed her to sleep for all naps and for her big sleep in the evening.

I'm trying to get away from doing this and towards getting her to settle herself eventually. I've heard it's easiest if you start with the first nap of the day. Apparently you try rocking the baby or feeding until she's almost sleep, then pop her down when she's drowsy but not asleep.

The issue is: she hates being rocked now or fed in my arms. For a while now, I have had to feed her lying down facing each other. I tried feeding her in my arms today and she cried. I tried rocking and she cried even more. The only thing that stopped her crying was lying down and feeding her.

What do I do? Is this bad habit reversible?

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Original poster
helvetica01 · 08/08/2018 23:47

Bump! (Anyone else up?)

OP posts:
Original poster
helvetica01 · 09/08/2018 07:52

Bump again!

OP posts:
Bananarama12 · 09/08/2018 07:54

Babies don't form bad habits. Just do whatever works for now and don't worry about what you 'should' be doing.

LyraLieIn · 09/08/2018 07:59

I never managed to get away from feeding to sleep before 2. Trying before then ended in tears which I wasn't prepared to deal with!

Happygolucky12 · 09/08/2018 10:33

Don’t worry is my best advice - do what you need to do to be a happy mum and have a happy baby.

I have just stopped feeding to sleep as I have returned to work and I stressed about it for months after reading all the messages on this topic. When it came to stopping we had a couple of nights with mild tears which lasted less than 5 minutes and now she has her last feed via a bottle (was breast prior to returning to work) from either me or her dad and goes straight to sleep once we put her down.

Everything is a phase - this time next week or month she maybe happy to be rocked and held to feed, just keep trying and you will get there.....

Nothing is a bad habit unless it is making you unhappy. 3.5 months is still really tiny x

Best wishes

Astrid2 · 09/08/2018 10:59

Baby will stop feeding to sleep when they are ready. It's a developmental milestone they reach naturally.

When baby starts falling asleep on their own on their play mat or chair without any help, that's usually when you could start to think about stopping feeding to sleep. But don't sweat it until then. Your baby is still tiny really!

BendingSpoons · 09/08/2018 11:06

Personally I wouldn't worry yet. DD stopped feeding to sleep at around 6/7 months. It was actually then more difficult to settle her to sleep and I missed being able to feed her to sleep! I personally think you should just change things when you need to and not worry about habits.

Original poster
helvetica01 · 09/08/2018 12:06

Thank you everyone for your kind messages. I'll just relax and go with the flow then... I think I was panicking a bit because other babies I know are/were all self settling at this age or earlier!

OP posts:
LivLemler · 09/08/2018 15:40

There's a method in No Cry Sleep Solution about this that I'm going to try soon on DD (i.e. entirely untested by me so far!). I don't think it's recommended until 4 months.

beckieperk · 09/08/2018 19:40

I second the no cry sleep solution. Worked with Ds1. However, if ill or going through a regression then you have to do it again. Same for most with any "sleep training!"
For now it sounds pretty normal and as if you're doing a great job. Don't sweat it (easier said than done I know! Wink).

arolam · 09/08/2018 19:51

If it's an option for you, can a partner do the settling. In my experience, because you have the milk, there's no chance you can get away not giving it. I have fed all mine to sleep and just couldn't do it any other way. My husband gives them a cuddle and lies down with them them and they drift off. I'd be in for some screaming if I tried to do that!

ZsaZsaMc · 09/08/2018 19:52

I just wanted to say we’re in the same position - I do a lot of comfort feeding and feeding to sleep for all naps aaaaand have been thinking of trying to move away from this (partly because it would be nice if DH could put our baby down for a nap and partly because being worried about forming bad habits).

At the moment it is working for us so just going with it...

crazycatlady5 · 09/08/2018 20:06

Still feeding to sleep over here at 18 months! Literally no reason for you to stop if it works Smile

arbrighton · 09/08/2018 20:49

Just stopped here at 13 mo, some nights. If he's full of beans, he will feed, bounce about, feed, repeat so DH can then settle him, but that's a very very new thing and inconsistent

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