2.5 Year old sudden change

[sleepsleepandmoresleep]

Help!

As you can see I'm writing this at gone 2am. My 2.5 year old has always been a good sleeper. I am 8 months pregnant and DH has a 1.5 hour commute at 7am each day - we need a decent nights sleep! It's DHs turn to take a stint now as I've done the last 2 hours....

DD has recently moved from the nursery into a new bedroom. We were going to do it gradually, let her move in when she wanted to, but the minute her Dad built her new bed she wanted to get in and sleep there so we let her. All was good for about 2 weeks. She usually sleeps 7:30-6:30 and has a 3 hour nap at 12.

The last week or so she's been waking in the night, refusing to go back to sleep for hours, asking to come in our bed (we've never bed shared) and throwing huge tantrums when we say no, back to bed. We've tried reading stories, doing a bedtime 'reset' where we take her downstairs and re-do her bedtime routine, just telling her no firmly and putting her back in bed. Nothing works. She literally tantrums for hours and hours until she screams herself out. I even gave in tonight and let her get in my bed. She just lay there, not upset but awake and fidgeting for an hour and a half.

She already has her comforter and a dummy in her bed (only, she never has a dummy otherwise and hasn't since she was small)

Any suggestions? We're at our wits end!!

Just stand your ground and keep saying no. Unfortunately by giving in and letting her, you’re now back to the beginning as she’s realised her tantrumming will work.

I wouldn’t do or say anything, toddlers love attention even when it’s not good attention.

Walk her calmly and gently to her rp and keep putting her back into bed. Get a baby gate if you need to.

She will eventually get the message.

I feel for you OP. Good luck x

Maybe drop the nap as well? I know it’s a scary prospect but may work? X

Yeah a 3 hour nap at 2.5 sounds like a lot, especially if it ends at 3 and she is in bed by 7.30. She just might not need all that sleep during the nighttime. Try waking her after 2 hours and see how you go. For context, my 21mo sleeps 12.15-2.15 and sleeps 7.30-6.30.

A 3 hour nap at 2.5 is crazy - you need to cut that

We are still awake!

Sorry 3 hour nap was a typo, it's 2 hours. I did wonder if it'd been the heat that's messed up her sleep, she's been having late nights because her room has been so hot and that's had a knock on effect but you could be right, maybe the nap has to go. Argh this is going to be tough, it's the one hour a day when I can have a doze myself 😩 I was desperate to keep it until baby arrives at least. Also wondered if changing rooms could be a catalyst but tough if it is really she's not changing back! There was me thinking it was sensible to get it done before baby arrives so she doesn't feel pushed out.

She is just absolutely wide awake. I've taken over as DH was about to lose his reason and bought her downstairs, she's now lying on a blanket on the sofa in the dark. I didn't know it was possible for a child to tantrum for five hours straight. Jesus effing christ.

Good training for having a newborn again at least!

Well why don't you just cut it to an hour then? At least you'll get some quiet time/rest even if it's not sleep. When I was 8 months pregnant with a toddler in tow I'd sometimes feel worse after napping as it made me very groggy, I found just sitting with a cup of tea and Netflix to be more restorative (to my mood especially!) If you don't have any luck with the hour then yes, it may have to go completely.

Try not to take her out of her room, this is what she wants. Keep her in her room, she’ll soon realise she’s safe with mummy or daddy nearby but she’s not getting what she wants. Don’t try to reason with her, just let her ride it out in her room. She’s kicking off because she’s not getting what she wants. It may be the heat too, or her molars coming through? x

I agree the nap is the culprit here. Cut the nap and give it a few weeks. I'll bet yeh problem is resolved.

Well, she finally fell asleep about half four. What a night!

Time to dig out the gro-clock I bought the other week and start reconsidering naptime I think. Bloody hell that was the most brutal night we've had since she was born I think.

@bettydraper31 I thought it could be the heat. It's not teeth, she's had them all for ages now she was a really early teether.

Is her room really hot? My sons room is south facing and it used to get so warm and stuffy in there. We bought a black out blind with a sun reflector on the back it's not the most attractive looking but it keeps his room cooler. He still has the odd night that he's unsettled so it's not completely fixed the issue.

Does she have supper?

My son is nearly 2.5 and he has a 2 1/2 hour nap, we tried cutting it down but he was falling asleep sat up at 3/4pm which made his night times worse so we're keeping the nap for now.

Her room has been warm the last few weeks, but it's in the shade from about 2pm so it's not too horrendous. When it's been stupidly hot we've kept her up later till it cools down.

She's got a gro-blind in there too and when she's asleep I sneak in and open a window too so she gets a breeze. It's just so unlike her, she's loves bed normally - she asks to go for her nap and after her bedtime story!

Hoping it's just a weird night!

She doesn't have supper as such, but she eats between 5-6 and goes to bed at 7:30 so she doesn't need it. She has a big cup of milk with her dinner too, then only water if she wants it after we've brushed her teeth.

How’s tonight going op? X

Well yesterday she was exhausted after her shenanigans but refused a nap. She wasn't too bad in the afternoon but when bedtime came around she had an absolute meltdown when it came to putting her pj's on so normal bedtime routine with stories etc didn't happen. Managed to get her upstairs with her objecting all the way, but she got into bed fine and promptly fell straight asleep. Poor little poppet was just wiped out.

She slept for 12 hours straight and has woken up her normal chirpy self. Early night for DH and I too, we were asleep by 9 and luckily it's been lovely and cool here so we all slept well.

We've got quite a busy day today. I will just play naptime by ear I think but I will definitely make sure she's down by 12 latest if she's going and not let her sleep too long, maybe 1.5 hours?

Try 1.5 hours - if that still causes nighttime disruption cut to an hour

A bit of bedtime grumpiness def worth it for a calm night!

I woke her after 1.5 hours today. She asked to go for her nap today, like she usually does. She's been happy all afternoon so we will see what bedtime brings tonight!

Here we are again...been up since 3:45 😩

No nap today for her then! See if it works....

Definitely no nap. Little terror. DH led her back to bed through screaming tantrums every time, he did so well. Stopped and got up at 6. Zzzzzzzz!

Oh OP I feel your pain! My dd is 27 months and was the same last night. I've been awake since 2:45am 😭

She naps for 1.5 hours, I am considering dropping it too if the shenanigans continue.

In the meantime, lots of coffee! ☕️

Argh @mrsoutnumbered I wish - I'm heavily pregnant so I have to take it easy on the caffeine! I let myself have me proper coffee a day and a bit of chocolate but that's it.

DD had a short nap this afternoon but only because she physically couldn't stay awake. We woke her up after an hour. Will have to see what happens tonight now.
Spoke to the HV earlier who specialises ok sleep - she reckons DD has separation anxiety as a result of the incoming addition.

Sep anxiety is possible but unlikely - kids don’t really understand the consequence of the new arrival until it is here.
When she didn’t nap she slept through the night fine - that says it all
She’s 2.5 - by contract my dc is 25 months dropped her nap a month or two ago. She still has it on the odd day and at nursery - and on those days her sleep is awful at night.
I know you want to hang on to her nap so you can get some you time during the day - but newborn will sleep a lot so you’ll still get that. You really really don’t want your toddler keeping you up at night with a newborn awake too.
It can take 3-6 months to drop the nap it can be difficult during this time to balance if you should let them sleep during the day of not.

Contrast not contract!

Fingers crossed for a restful night for you!
And def ignore hv on the sep anxiety - that’s basically just playing on your guilt and worst fears and sort of blames you for the issue. Don’t listen to it!! Your toddler is not sleeping because of something to do with her - at the moment she doesn’t understand what the baby really is or how it’ll change her life