Following SIDS guidelines - is it really possible to have the baby always sleep in the same room as you?

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

Sorry for the long post - anxious and somewhat sleepy mother of a newborn here...

DS is only 4 weeks, so some of this is thinking ahead - I know he's too little to have sleep routines yet! I know that the SIDS guidelines are that he always sleeps in the same room as us in a cot or a moses basket, for both naps and nighttime sleep. But this is already getting impractical, and will surely get more so? He isn't always sleeping in his moses basket - he's asleep next to me on the sofa right now. Surely this is ok because I'm sat right next to him? I know that us both being asleep on the sofa is dangerous, and wouldn't do that - but during the day with me wide awake feels very different. He also sleeps on me/DH and in his sling, which also isn't in accordance with the guidelines but is surely fine? While we can move his moses basket around, he sometimes refuses to settle in it, and also I can see that he's only going to fit comfortably in it for a few more weeks (he's a long baby). I was planning to put his cot in our room for night time, but obviously it doesn't move around the house with us. Does that mean he (and I) should be in our bedroom for every single nap from then on?

Perhaps more significantly, does this mean that he can't have a bedtime routine that's different from ours until six months? I've read things saying by three months we should be putting him to bed in a dark, quiet room at 7 or 8 pm - but are we (I, realistically - he's breastfed) then supposed to sit in the dark?! At the moment he just hangs around with us, either napping in his moses basket or being held, etc., just like during the day, until we go to bed at 10.30/11 - but I've seen lots of advice saying that he'll develop terrible sleep habits if we keep this up much longer? Similarly, I've seen people talk about putting the baby down for naps in a dark room from a few months old - but surely I can't be expected to spend big chunks of my day as well as my evening in the dark?!

So, what do people actually do? Do you:

a) stick to the guidelines, put baby to sleep in a cot and sit in your bedroom (potentially in the dark) yourself for hours and hours a day?
b) stick to the guidelines about them being with you but not about them always being in a cot to sleep - and hope that baby is ok sleeping in bright, not particularly quiet spaces until six months and ignore all the people telling you you'll produce a terrible sleeper that way?
c) stick to the guidelines about them sleeping in a cot but not about them being with you, and put them down by themselves for naps/in the evenings (presumably with a monitor?)
d) some other option I haven't thought of?

I agree with sycamore. I hate deviation from routine. I like to know when the baby is going to sleep because I can do whatever I want! Sometimes sleep, cook, read, watch TV, have a bath etc. I take the video monitor with me everywhere.

I didn't stick to the guidelines- baby napped in sitting room from day one whilst I did chores elsewhere- sometimes I was in room with him.
I co slept up until 3 months.
From three months I got a baby monitor and put him in his cotbed before I went up to bed.
In the end, you do what you got to do. I know there's all these guidelines, but there's also research to say that there's actually a genetic link re SIDS so sometimes there's actually nothing anyone could have done!

I am going to shock you all, but I had my DD's a while ago. Dd1 born 1997 and Dd2 2003. Both two of the hottest summers ever. They both spent almost all day outside in a pram by themselves napping and watching the trees and birds. I checked on them every so often. Both slept in carrycots in our room for the first four weeks but then went into their own rooms in the carry cot but placed in the cot. No monitor. Advice then was on back to sleep and no co-sleeping, but that was about it. Sometimes I think there are so many rules and so much pressure on young mums today, it all seems so fraught.

My LO used to nap on the sofa or her playmat on the floor, wherever she fell asleep!
from about 2 months we put her to bed upstairs by herself with a baby monitor and from 3 months she has been in her own room.

That's odd because in 2003 I was definitely advised to keep Ds1 in my room for 6 months, to sleep him at the foot of the cot, and only on his back. They were quite firm about it

@colditz that is still the guidance.

@colditz I am sure that was true, but with DD2 I didn't bother with any of the classes or health visitor or midwife visits as it was a second baby.