Is it normal/AIBU?

[Catheroooo]

I have a 7 month old breastfed baby. She was a terrible sleeper up until 5 months where she would only sleep on someone or co sleep. We went through 6 weeks of hourly wake ups and I became bonkers so we sleep trained and she now goes down in her cot for all sleep. She went down a dream for 2 weeks then for another 6 weeks we had crying at bedtime either on being out down or waking after 45 minutes. We did controlled crying for those 6 weeks and it broke me. I couldn't bear it and also felt like I was torturing her as I thought CC only lasted a week or 2 tops before it got better. So i started going up and feeding her, never to sleep but it calmed her enough to go back down and fall asleep. For the last week or so she's been going down much better again and waking only really after an hour a half if at all and we've had a few nights where she would go until 1am ish. Fab.

Some of my family are very keen that me and my partner have an evening out together. I've been treated for anxiety and they are well meaning in their suggestion as it would be good for me. However I want to be there for my baby if she wakes before 1am as I always put her on boob. Yes she may not need a feed as she can clearly go til 1am but if she doesn't go on boob then she will cry and I hate that thought plus whoever looks after her has to deal with that.

I was never confident in bf as sometimes she seems to feed well before bed and sometimes it's a quick drink so I worry on those nights she is hungry if she wakes up earlier. We are weaning which is going well.

I am back to work for 3 days a week when she is 8 months and hate the thought of leaving her then. She won't take a bottle and I can't express anything so we are hoping she will take formula from a sippy cup.

I just feel like the 'she will get used to it' reply to my excuse for not going out is horrible. Yes she may do but why should she? She's 7 months old not 8 years old and I feel still needs me. I feel like I will feel comfortable when she is a year old and can have cows milk and weaning is established will be an ok time to leave her. And hopefully she is beginning to show signs of sleeping a long stretch at night so it may become reliable enough that i can venture out. But yes it would be nice to have the freedom to go out with my OH to watch a film once in a while as I feel I neglect him at the moment. What do others do? When did you start feeling comfortable enough to leave your bf baby for an evening? Am I wrong?

Thanks

I don't think you are wrong for not wanting to go out. If you do go out you won't enjoy yourself because you'll just be worrying and checking your phone every 2 mins and just wanting to go home!

A year will come round so quick and I don't think you'll regret being there for your lo.

You could still have a date night but staying in? Download a recent movie off sky or something and get a takeaway?

My 8mo sleeps really well in the first half of the night except the odd time like last night she's woken up hysterical at 10pm for no reason so I worry about both of us going out. We've only been out once for a wedding when she was about 5mo and she was absolutely fine but haven't been out since.

I haven't yet had an evening out at 13 mo as I would be too anxious and if I'm honest, it's only the last week that DS has even allowed DH to settle him to sleep even without the milk situation and the last month maybe where he can sometimes be resettled with a quick cuddle and pat or seems to wake up but then put himself back to sleep.

Boob isn't just food though, it's comfort etc as well so it's not as simple as 'not hungry'. My DS is still not convinced a beaker of cow's milk is an acceptable alternative come bedtime.

But, on the flip side, DH and I did a weekend afternoon trip to the cinema while my mum had DS and went out for lunch on our wedding anniversary..

Nights out aren't the be all and end all. I'm usually more after my bed anyway than going out! We did manage to watch a whole film at home about a week ago

You absolutely are not wrong. You have to do what makes you comfortably and you don’t have to leave her if you don’t want to.

My DS was a bottle refusing boob monster. I didn’t leave him for the night untill he was 13 months almost. He started sleeping much longer stretches at about 7 months and rarely woke before 1 after that however I just didn’t feel comfortable leaving him with anymore else as he always wanted the boob. At 13 months he was fully weaned on good and only boobing morning and night and was comfortably sleeping through the night. I knew he was fine so I was much more relaxed and really enjoyed myself. Prior to this me and DP had been to the cinema once at night since he was born. Like PP said we used to have dates during the day as DS was less bothered about the boob if he was out and about. We also did and still do move nights and meals when he goes to bed. Don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with- there’s plenty time to go out and she won’t be tiny forever