2 years of this shit... Night weaning better work or I'm going to die.

[EspressoPatronum]

Ds (2 in June) has always been a rubbish sleeper probably due to allergies and reflux as a baby. We co sleep with a side car cot and nurse through the night, mainly from necessity (lack of space and not wanting to get up and go to a different room a zillion times a night) which has worked pretty well for us until recently.

I'm now at the end of my rope with sleep deprivation. Dh thinks part of the problem might be learned hunger, so the past couple of nights we've reduced his bed time milk and I'm using the Jay Gordon night weaning method.

If this doesn't work I don't know what I'm going to do!

Not sure what the point of this thread is, I guess just to get it off my chest and see if anyone else has/had a non sleeping 2 year old?

No experience as DS is only 5 months but just wanted to say fingers crossed I hope it works. I don't know how you've survived 2 years!

I hear you. Neither of my eldest slept until nearly 3 and my youngest is 1 next week and still up all bloody night.

Yes me! Ds has just turned 2 and still wakes twice in the night (v occasionally once or 3 times). Still co sleeping and nursing too. I co slept and breast fed dc1 who slept 11 hours straight by 8 months so i expected the same with dc 2; but sadly not. What is the Jay Gordon method? i need something as also sick of it!!

I did this method at 15 months, it worked really well. There was a bit of grumbling but barely any tears, and managed to cut down to bedtime and early morning 4/5am. Baby now 18 months, also cosleeping. Baby occasionally asks for milk if she wakes in the night but I say no and she accepts it, bf still going strong at all other times although I do work from home so am around in the day.

I did the Jay Gordon method with both kids at 20ish months. DS was VERY angry indeed - but I could tell it was rage, not distress. DD was astonishingly easy, she grumbled and then capitulated. It didn't solve either of them waking in the night completely, but it helped a lot. With DD, we had her sleeping through the night a few weeks later, DH slept with her for a bit and she didn't see the point in waking up for him!

I've done a much more gradual version of Jay Gordon and DS2 (26 months) is waking a lot less. It does work and is really gentle.

DS1 has only just started going through the night in his own bed: he's 5 and a half!!

@tortycat here: drjaygordon.com/sleep/sleep-changing-patterns-in-the-family-bed.html
Last night went a bit better, he's still walking 4 odd times, but only cried once when I took him off the breast and one time didn't even ask for milk, just came for a cuddle. I think if he can accept a cuddle, I'll get more sleep even if he keeps waking- I'm finding it increasingly difficult to sleep myself while he's latched even though I used to be able to when he was smaller!

So glad to hear I'm not the only one with a toddler non sleeper, all my friends with similar aged children after pretty much getting full night's now 😭 and I'm over here dying of jealousy!

Shackup I think I'll end up doing a gentle certain as well, staying on each step for longer than Jay Gordon recommends, I'm hoping more chance of success that way!

@fishywishyhead if he keeps this up for another year I'm selling him!

Did my own twist of that method at 22 months. Was 18 weeks pregnant and had just had enough.

Fed to sleep as normal then said boobies didn't work until morning. Dd woke 3 times a night. Very angry. Hit and bit. Actually made it easier to stick to cause she wasn't hurt just angry. Talked to her about what we did that day. And what we would do tomorrow. It calmed her down. She lay down and slept. Took about 2 weeks and she was pretty much sleeping through. We co slept for another few months.

She totally weaned after 2 weeks. Just went cold turkey on day feeds. Told her the boobies didn't work. She asked a couple of times but accepted it.

It was a million times easier than I expected. She was a total boob monster. Fed multiple times a day and night.

Not yet 2 years here - 16 months (also spent 18 months at this particular rodeo with DD1 so stupidly thought we had paid our crappy sleep dues - ha!) currently attempting something similar to Jay Gordon - DD has never been fed to sleep at bedtime but had developed a serious habit of booing to sleep at night wakes. Currently listening to her raging at tne fact that DH has gone in to comfort her and not me I know we desperately need to get some more sleep for our sanity but having a serious wobble listening to her piercing screams. I am trying not to feed back to sleep if she wakes before midnight and going to try to gradually push back that first wake if we ever make it past that first stage. Ugh. Hate this.

Boobing to sleep that should be not booing to sleep

Yes penguin13 I struggle to listen to him screaming as well 😫

Last night he slept from 9 until half 6 this morning with no wake ups!

I'd be buzzing about it if not for the fact I was awake pretty much all night with indigestion 😭😭😭

Only one wake up last night and he's still asleep! 🙌🙌🙌

Well done Espresso! I hope you got more sleep last night and weren't bothered by any more indigestion.

The first night we ended up reverting to a bit more classic JG method as DH gave up and said she needs milk so I fed her and then put her down awake. Cue more screams but I was right there beside her and just kept comforting her without offering more milk and she eventually fell asleep 1.5 hours after she first woke then slept for 5.5 hours which for us is a very good stretch.

Last night we had more progress. Her first stretch was 7 hours which is seriously rare, then fed her and put her down awake and she only cried for about 5 minutes before going back to sleep and waking at 6.15. I am really really REALLY hoping this isn't a fluke as she has teased me before with some one off stretches of 7 or 8 hours just to really add to the mental torture. Also a bit scared of moving to the next stage. Has anyone delayed it or does that just make it worse in the long run?

I'm delaying it this time. I've tried the timeline set out by Jay Gordon before a few months ago, and we went from wake ups being reduced drastically for the 3 days off giving a little milk, to hours of inconsolable screaming and we gave up! So going to go even more gently this time...

Fingers crossed it's not a fluke and she starts doing some longer stretches more regularly for you! Nothing worse than sleep deprivation... 😬

Yeeeeeah we just had our first wake. That'll teach me to get optimistic. Sigh. Currently feeding

I was in a similar situation. 18 month old was still feeding every 2-3 hours through the night.

To stop I did the last feed before bed as normal then put a flesh coloured plaster on my breast. When DC woke up at night I said the milk had finished and showed him the breast. Im not sure it it made it easier for him (took 3 night for him to start sleeping through) but it certainly did for me! I just felt less bad by saying the milk had finished and let him try and feed rather than telling him he wasn’t allowed.

Well we're still going...Given that we were on multiple feeds per night before we started and I am a wimp have gone the gradual route. Was hoping it would have made more of a difference by now though tbh. DD still screams when put down awake but for maybe 2 mins instead of 30.... How is everyone else getting on?

He woke up about 4/5 times last night. No milk, just cuddles and only a wee bit of crying.

I'm hoping he stops waking up as much (at all!!!) when he realises he's not getting milk anymore.

He didn't nap today and is hanging tired, maybe that will help!

Espresso you sound like you are doing really well. We have unfortunately gone backwards. Not only am I still having to feed, when I pull her off the boob she has started screaming blue murder for half an hour or more. Have been having to pick her up and hold her till completely asleep (each time I put her down she immediately screams full volume again) which basically means I have replaced one sleep association with another I tried so hard to let her settle in her cot but she literally didn't calm down at all despite my reassuring her verbally, cuddles in the cot etc. The only good thing is that she now needs less milk at night so the learned hunger has reduced but I feel a bit dispairing at this point. She doesn't do sleepy but awake. She seemingly has two settings. Awake, screaming blue murder and completely asleep, with nothing in between. My only hope is that once her molars are fully through things settle down but at the moment it feels like I am distressing her a lot for no gain.

Hi all, can I join? 25m boob monster, co-sleeping with him in his single bed most of the night.

Will look into Jay Gordon, he hasn't slept longer than a 4h stretch EVER. Cries himself sick if I leave him to cry or DH goes to him. I sat by his bed the other night and it took 2.5h for him to go to sleep, this was after I'd fed him for an hour, gone downstairs for 25mins and he had woken again. He slept for 1.5h then was inconsolable so I ended up feeding him.

Its so hard.

Oh no @penguin13 😩 poor you! If it makes you feel better, when we tried a few months ago we had similar- absolute screaming hysterics and we gave up. It's going better now, but he woke up at half 3 this morning asking for milk and cried when he wasn't allowed... And still wakes at least once a night!

@art3mis of course! It's soo hard isn't it? Using Jay Gordon we've gone from 3/4 wake ups at least (and sometimes wanting to feed for hours at night) to 1 or 2 wake ups and usually settling in a few minutes with a back rub or a cuddle.

All gone to shit over here as me, ds and dh all have bad colds...

Feeding overnight had resumed for the time being 😭😩🤒

Joining the chat as a mum of an 18 month old who is up at least 2/3 times a night - thought I was the only one

I googled this and some articles say babies WILL be sleeping through by 12 months which clearly isn't true.

My lo one still has milk through the night but bottle not breast - also has a dummy - so failing there as well :-(

we are like tetchy zombies through the day now. will look at the method you mentioned as I don't know what else to do

Dummy isn't failing! I used to wish ds would bloody take one in the hopes it might have helped him sleep... Or at least given my nipples a break!

I can't imagine how hard still giving bottles overnight must be, I am a lazy bugger, even rolling over and pulling down my top is too much effort!

I think we're not as alone as we feel, people just stop talking about it after a certain amount of time. I hardly mention it to most friends anymore, especially the ones who have good sleepers or have sleep trained. It just makes me feel shit so I don't bother!