Leaving to cry for a bit?

[AlaskanSnow]

My 8mo DS still wakes frequently in the night - always has done.
Bottle fed, weaning going well but up until 2 weeks ago we had regular feeds at about 1 and 4am.

Then last week when he woke for the 1am-ish feed I desperately needed the loo, so I though I'd wee first, then get him. I had literally been 2 mins but he just went back to sleep. He then didn't wake again til 6.30!

So I've tried that a few more times - give it a couple of mins instead of rushing into him at the first cry and a lot of the time he does drop back off. We've even had a solid 7.30 to 6.30!!!

So my question is - how long should I leave him for before I should go in to him. I've realised that perhaps I responded too quickly to him and haven't been allowing him to settle himself but equally I don't want him to get distressed.

I've tried monitoring his cries, but that doesn't help. Last night we got to 5 mins and he was ramping up so I got up to get him, but then was asleep by the time I got to him - so that isn't an indicator.
However, if he wakes up and screams I have just been feeding as normal.

Thanks

I count in my head and don't get nearly as far as I should but I'd aim for no more than the couple of minutes you've been doing - more will feel like forever for you both. If he ramps up the screams I go in immediately.

I think about 5 minutes. And then gauge whether they're quietening down. I was so surprised one day when I was in the garden when dd started crying and she settled herself after a few mins. After that I always left her up to five mins. No harmful effects! And much better rested patient fun mum.

I think about 8 months they often don't need milk in the night anymore especially if weaning going well.

Oh yes absolutely leave for a few minutes. My DD has a little cry every night between about 10.30 and 11pm. She always settles herself. If we go to her in she wakes up properly and then we have a battle getting her back to sleep again.

She also cries out just before she goes to sleep at nap times and bed time. It just means she is going to sleep rather than she is upset, it sounds awful that she cries herself to sleep but other than that 45secs - 1min of crying she loves going to bed and is generally a happy child.

IME you can usually tell the difference between a sleepy whine and a proper cry out requiring parental involvement because there is something actually wrong.

A minute or so?My 8mo still wakes regularly at night.. this is normal btw.

I'd say that you know your own baby, and can tell whether it's grizzly whinging, or upset crying. The former i'd leave for around 5 minutes, any longer and my DS would be waking himself up too much to go back down easily. If he was genuinely crying I would go straightaway

Leaving baby to cry is a personal choice. I don’t believe in CC or CIO personally, however I realised at about 4 months that sometimes my DS would cry/grizzle for 5 mins before going to sleep. He still does sometimes now at 14 months. Whether you are there or not. He also still sometimes cries out inbetween sleep cycles in the night- for a minute or so. It’s totally normal for babies to wake frequently in the first year however if he literally goes back to sleep within a few mins I’d give him a little time to settle himself. I used to wait 5 mins and then I’d go in because personally I don’t feel comfortable waiting any longer. If it’s a distressed cry I’d be in straight away. Youre mummy, you know your baby and what their different cries sound like. It may not work every night, and you can just feed as normal like you have been as it’s totally normal to still need feeds/comfort in the night at 8 months.

I was just starting to get tense as we approached 5 mins so maybe I'll use that as a maximum for now.

Thanks

Sounds like you're judging it pretty well by the sound of it. Good luck - you will get there !