Would you sleep train?

[Newmum26]

My DS is 14 months old and has always been a good sleeper. As a newborn he went down awake and settled himself in his crib.
Since he learnt to crawl & walk etc bed time has got a bit trickier and since then we put him down in his cot awake after bath, book and milk, but sit next to his cot on a chair and just gently pat his bum until he is asleep enough to leave the room and that's it don't hear a peep from him unless he is teething and will cry out in the night and need shhhhing and bum pat. He sleeps 7-6/7am.
I am wondering whether to sleep train and do controlled crying which my HV has recommended if I want to, but part of me isn't bothered by putting him to bed and sitting next to him for 5-10 minutes until he is asleep so I just don't know if I should do it or not? But then on the other hand I don't want him to be 3/4 and still have to be sat with him while he falls asleep 🤷🏻‍♀️
What do you think? ☺️

I can assure you as a Ftm too, if HV told me to leave my son to cry, I'd be giving them a strong reply.

But really, if i have to sit with my son until he's 10 for ten minutes, I will, however long he wants or needs. Same as I like a cuddle with my husband before I can go to sleep.

You really don't realise how good you've got it for a sleeping through child who needs ten minutes of reassurance

That’s the thing though, anyone can do 10mins. But many people are now doing an hour or two hours of sitting patting. I bet they didn’t plan on that in the beginning.

This is a classic age for sleep routine regression - just learning to walk, learning a bit of independence, burning more energy, exploring etc. His appetite may also be increasing - when we went through this with DS he'd have a little bit of extra milk at night and also when/if he woke up, but he'd have it in the cot rather than come out for a cuddle. I would give him the bottle, check nappy, settle him into sleeping position, usual blanket, cuddlies, etc, leave the room and wait for him to self soothe - it may be that he cries a little the first few times but in my experience it soon settled down and the time period for a few cries got shorter and he stopped this specific 'stage' after a couple of weeks. When he did cry I would go in, settle back down into sleeping position, blanket etc, and keep doing until he stopped and soothed back down to sleep. So this could be what your HV is suggesting. DS also had a Winnie the Pooh projector which would come on if he cried/I would activate it for him; this was a godsend!

Thanks for all the replies ☺️
He normally sleeps through but the last few nights has been crying out and then sitting up so I've shhhd him and he's gone back to sleep right away.
He does this every time a new tooth is in its way so I'm hoping it's that and not him wanting to be helped back to sleep!? I can't see why he would start it now though as he's always been fine and settles himself in the night after each sleep cycle 🤨

I'm hoping it's that and not him wanting to be helped back to sleep!? I can't see why he would start it now though as he's always been fine and settles himself in the night after each sleep cycle

Sleep isn’t linear. Development leaps (wait for the language download one), teething, illness, changes in routine, nightmares/night terrors, separation anxiety (18 months) etc can all impact on sleep. Even just having more awareness about time - and it’s a long time between bedtime and waking up for a child. Especially one that sleeps alone.

Believe me, you’ll miss it when he doesn’t need you like this.

*Sleep isn’t linear. Development leaps (wait for the language download one), teething, illness, changes in routine, nightmares/night terrors, separation anxiety (18 months) etc can all impact on sleep. Even just having more awareness about time - and it’s a long time between bedtime and waking up for a child. Especially one that sleeps alone.

Believe me, you’ll miss it when he doesn’t need you like this.*

So true 🙂 So just go with what he needs and not try and make him settle on his own?

I would (and did).

DD is coming up for 8 now and hasn’t needed our help to sleep for a while. I miss it. So much so that we have a 15 minute “how was today” chat on her bed at bedtime as part of her winding down (but also for me).