What has happened to my 9 month old's sleep?!

[Liefster]

Help! I’m really struggling with my 9 month old’s sleep. He still wakes in night for milk which is fine (he is bottle fed; ideally I would love him to stop the night feed but he’s clearly not ready!) and recently it’s taking an hour or more to settle him back down after feeding. We used to be able to feed him and he would be back to sleep straight away with no issues but now we are having to cuddle or rock him back to sleep; or if we put him straight down in his cot he cries so we are going back in several times to settle him down. We’ve tried leaving him for a few minutes to settle on his own if he is just whining a little bit or chatting to himself but it’s not long before that turns into a real cry and he is either sitting or standing up in his cot wailing. Putting him to bed in the evening is becoming more difficult too, it’s taking a lot longer to get him to sleep now and self-settling has gone out the window completely (he didn’t self-settle every time as sometimes he was so tired he would fall asleep straight after a feed, but he doesn’t self-settle at all now).

This morning he just would not go back to sleep after waking at 4.45am despite being tired; he had been fed (8oz) so he wasn’t hungry but cuddling, rocking, singing, rubbing his back and shushing didn’t work. I also tried bringing him into our bed but he just wriggles and thinks it’s play time (which is why co-sleeping isn’t an option for us at all unfortunately). The early starts have been going on for weeks too, even if he wakes at 4am for a feed and is awake for an hour, he can still be up for the day at 5.30. He went to bed at 7pm last night and was awake at 9.30pm, he took a bit of milk and it took nearly an hour to get him back down then, too.

Does anyone have any ideas or advice? Or do we just need to ride this out as I know this age can be an awful time for sleep? He used to be a great sleeper (roughly 7pm-7am with one quick wake up during the night for milk) but his sleep has been getting worse over the past month or so and I’m not sure what else to do. My husband is great so it doesn’t all fall to me but we are both exhausted from the long wake ups and very early mornings and I worry that my son isn’t getting the sleep he needs either. I’m sure he will grow out of it as I think most things are a phase but I’d love to hear from anyone who has been through this and can reassure me that it gets better!

We’re in almost the same position. My LG is 9 months, she’s always slept through (12 hours) since 14 weeks except for the odd time when she’s been teething or I unwell. She’s recently started waking around 5 wanting to play although still being visibly tired. We know she’s not hungry though as she hasn’t woken for milk in months.

We’ve put it down to 9 month development where she’s learning about her independence from us. We’re quite strict with her though and won’t let her get up to play. She’s offered her dummy back and stay with her (not picking her up out of the cot) until she starts to settle on her own before we leave the room. She sometimes has a moan when we leave the room but quickly settles herself. We found the more we intervened the worse she was because she thought we were picking her up to take her downstairs.

Fortunately, we’re just on the other end where she’ll settle just being offered the dummy back. I’d say just persevere but try not to create new bad habits like rocking or cuddling to sleep.

Good luck.

How long is he napping during the day?

I would start some gentle self settling. After bedtime routine, sit with him until he sleeps but do not pick him up or interact apart from saying 'shhh sleepy time' or something every 5 mins if he's upset. If he's standing up then every 10 mins you could say sshh sleepy time and gently lay him down. He'll know you are there obviously and this should give him reassurance to help him self settle. First night he'll be a bit confused so may not be too happy. After a couple of nights though he will begin to relax and fall asleep quicker. After 4 nights move your chair to be closer to the door. After another 4 nights move it outside the room, out of sight but continue the shh every 5 mins if he's upset. By this point though you'll find he is quite happy to self settle

For night wakings I would do the same.

You may need to sit for ages so take an iPad or a book to read good luck!

Short term pain for long term gain!

I’m the same and no tips! Used to sleep through but no joy. She falls asleep at bedtime as soon as she’s latched on and continues to feed then after she stops I put her down asleep. Easy - slept through. Now wanting fed sometimes 1/2/3 times through night up for hours sometimes, into our bed is too exciting to sleep too. She cries up not grizzling down, she is up on on fours or pulling herself up on bars in crazed fashion that actually makes me laugh even when I’m knackered. She’s not yet ten months and it’s been so hot so my view is she’s still so young and I’m not willing to withdraw any settling at moment just hoping hoping hoping resolves itself, think they just have so much development going on at moment. I need to believe that!

Thanks so much for your replies! All really helpful and reassuring.

Nap wise it varies although he often has 1.5 hours in the morning now and the afternoon is a bit shorter so they are not too bad. Sometimes he only has a 30 min nap but I've given up trying to resettle if he wakes up after a short time as it's just not worth the hassle!