15MO will simply not go to bed and I’m losing my mind!

[mommathatwearspink]

DS is 15MO and we are having major issues with getting him to sleep at night. Once he’s asleep though, he sleeps very well and right through until 6/6:30am. He naps for between 1-2hrs per day but there is no routine to it, just when he’s tired.
He is unable to self settle and I think the fact that he had reflux and had to be kept upright after every feed and so fell asleep on us didn’t help.
We’ve tried the cry it out method a few times but it definitely doesn’t work. Most nights he won’t go to bed until 11pm... he doesn’t even look tired. I’m going out of my mind... we can’t eat our evening meal and don’t even get an hour to ourselves.

Drop the nap or try and keep it short. Two hours is probably too much.

I would try and stick to a rigid and consistent nap time. So maybe 12-1.30 or something like that. Do it for a week and see if that helps bedtime, if not then reduce the naptime length and try for a week and see again, I would also try and keep the time he falls asleep for his nap as early as possible

The issue is that you've not taught him how to go to sleep.

It is not that he's having too much sleep. Indeed if he's having 7-7.5h overnight and 1-2h daytime, he's well and truely overtired, not under tired.

How do you get him to go to sleep?

Has he always been like this? Maybe he’s going through a leap and just and phase?

Nursery haven’t been great with reducing naps... they said he’s too young and when I asked them for no naps after 3pm they just kept calling me after then at work to say he was distraught and needed to sleep.
He’s always been impossible to settle and this has been going on for months and months now.
I agree that he hasn’t learn to self settle but how do I teach him? I feel like we’ve tried almost everything!

Always hard to offer suggestions when you don’t know what someone has tried.

What have you tried? What’s the bedtime routine? How do you set the scene? Is the room dark? Is there bath time?

Basic questions, but these things tend to have simple solutions.

Oh my goodness don’t drop the nap, he really is too young. Their little brains grow and develop when asleep and keeping him awake when he clearly is tired is counterproductive and mean.

Just relax. Sit him in his chair and go ahead and eat your dinner and more importantly enjoy your evening. Look at his schedule tomorrow. There's not a lot you can do this evening so just relax

Mine dropped his nap when he was not much over 15 months old, he just didn't want or need it anymore. I would have loved him to continue, but he just didn't want to. I know it seems young, but not all babies need tons of sleep. Mine dropped his nap early and friends kids continued to nap until they were knocking on 4!

Different things work for different people, just give it a go and see if it helps.

mommathatwearspink How do you currently get him to sleep?

Your nursery are correct. He needs more sleep. To force him to have less sleep is cruel and not in anyone's best interest, certainly not his.

DS is 15 months. He still needs a nap of 1.5 to 2 hours a day and has actually only just dropped the second nap.
We have a very strict bedtime routine and make sure his room is dark. We sit with him in the dark holding his hand through the cot bars until he goes to sleep so he feels safe enough to do so. This can take half an hour. Once he is in his cot he isn't allowed out again until morning apart from when he needs a cuddle... but once he is calm he goes back in his cot and we resume the hand holding. He usually is asleep by 8 and we have 1 or 2 wake ups overnight which I think is normal for this age.
For us consistency was the key. I've sat with him for up to 2 hours while he races around his cot, wriggle, rolls, shouts etc. I've only picked him up if upset (obviously none of this applies if he is sick when all rules are broken!)
I think it doesn't matter exactly what you do so long as you have clear signals it is bedtime and you are consistent and don't give up. You'll have some tricky nights but he will get the message eventually!