Putting down to sleep

[Urchin84]

Hi, was just wondering how you 'put your baby down to sleep' because my 9 week old will only fall asleep if I'm rocking/singing to her then I have to wait at least 20 mins before putting her in the Moses whilst holding her close then having my hand on her for a bit after that, then hoping for the best! Oh, and this only works at night, there's no way she stays asleep in the Moses or cot in the day 😐 I have a sling and can sometimes sneak her in if she's sleepy enough, is she just too young to be laid down with the classic 'dozy but awake'?!

Babies want to be with their primary carer. It is normal.

I could put my 6 week old down dozy and she would fall asleep. Now she is 2 we have to stay with her until she falls asleep.

I nEVER managed dozy but awake. DD would scream if I left before she was asleep. I think that's normal at that age. A very small number of babies seem to have "easy sleeper" temperaments and this work she for them. But i know plenty of parents that had it work for one child and not for siblings. Don't be a yourself up if despite your efforts, your DD is in the majority and needs to know you are thee to feel safe enough to nod off

Hi there, I suggest you look back on recent threads where I and a ton of other people have said that the putting down dozy thing only works if you have a baby that goes for it. Many (maybe most) will not, and it's totally normal and actually good for them to be close to you. Being with you, hearing your breathing, feeling your heart, are all protective against SIDS. That's why there's the recommendation to sleep in the same room until at least 6 months.
It' s not that she's too young either- mine never ever did this. It's a myth that you just have to get the technique exactly right, for a lot of babies it just won't work.
Second time round when you've already been through all this, many mothers realise that sitting there for 20 minutes or even an hour is tiring but it's not that big a deal and if you adjust expectations it takes a massive stress away (and fear that you're doing something wrong, or setting up bead behaviour).

I would just keep the baby in the sling as much as possible and go with it. They can nap in it and you can still get stuff done. When you do need to lay down, you can gently lower them still in the sling and remove it (check out wrapping groups for tips on which carries are good for this). And just try and shift your mind and make that time together about having precious cuddles and quiet love.

It all does get better over time, but a huge number of people have no idea what normal baby sleep looks like, and it sets us up for much distress (not to mention many people doing traumatic sleep training). You don't have to take that path at all and you'll still end up with a child who sleeps well when they're ready to.
Good luck.

Haha, I'm glad it's not just me. Mine is 10 weeks and I've only managed "drowsy but awake" the odd fluke time. As with the OP, she likes to take her daytime naps in the sling (fun in this heat) and at night I feed her to sleep, hold on to her for 10 minutes, or until her arms go floppy, and then oh so carefully put her down in the crib, feeling like she's an unexploded bomb that might go off with one wrong move!

I can also just about get her to sleep with rocking her in my arms, shushing and patting. But it takes 20 or 30 mins, often with a fair bit of crying at first and my arms feel like they're going to fall off by the end, so I never feel like risking wasting it putting her down before she's fully asleep.

I feel like I'm making problems for the future by not working on this, but it seems impossible!

I used to shush/ pat / rock / walk round with DD and stress so much about why she wouldn't be put down "sleepy but awake"
She's now 7 months, knackering herself out crawling and pulling herself up on everything and she just wants a quick cuddle and then we put her down asleep and she stays asleep. And I bloody love the cuddles, enjoy them

Urchin84 She is still newborn so she just wants to be near you at all times! My little boy is 11 months and has only just started to self settle the last couple of weeks.. give it time she will eventually go down without being rocked or cuddled to sleep but it’s very early days 😊 good luck with it x

I used to put her down on blanket on the sofa or in her moses basket (wherever she was preferring at the time) and shhh her. I'd move so i was out of sight and see if she would settle, if not go back and shh again. Repeat until she was asleep

I used to put her down quite dozy, she always wanted to sleep on her side, then I would gently pat her back, progressively getting slower and lighter...still makes her fall asleep 8 years on!