Do BF babies really not need feeding at night?

Tapster · 2007-05-30T09:25:12+00:00

I'm at my wits end. We are doing Gradual Retreat - all going well, getting her to most of the time by shhing her to sleep by her cot after holidng her very briefly. But she is still waking up to 5 times a night. We had a couple of good weeks but now a tooth has emerged so we presume she is teething. She was awake twice last night for 1.5 hours each time, resorted to Baby Nurofen at midnight but still didn't work. She does seem hungry and fed her both times, DH and "the books" say she doesn't need feeding at night now she is 6.5 month old. I don't know anybody else in RL that doesn't give at least formula at night. Formula is not an option for me, but I would like to think that she may sleep more than 4/4.5 hours in a trot again (she did from 5-14 weeks, up to 9 hours). Should I not feed her? I can't feed her more during the day, she won't take it I try. She eats some solids but not alot so I do think she may need more milk at night. She seems anxious at night - could it be separation anxiety if so what do we do. CC not an option GR bad enough. Help.

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CristinaTheAstonishing · 30/05/2007 10:28

I think she's still very young and shows signs that she does need her night-time milk. We had DD in our bed and feeding through the night while both lying down in bed was the easiest option for us.

ArtichokeTagine · 30/05/2007 10:32

I have always BF my DD if she wakes at night.

I am in a differnt situation to you as she does not wake that often (in fact hardly ever at the moment). I did CC at 7 months to teach her to get to sleep herself and it worked and stopped most night wakings. Now when she does wake I BF her immediatly and she goes straight back down. If I refuse BF she would be awake for hours.

I imagine that a refusal to BF might make her anxious at night especially if she is demand fed in the day. She won't understand why she can't have the same at night and it might give her bad assocaitions with night time. As the weather gets warmer she may be getting thirsty at night and it is horrible to wake up thirsty with no access to liquid.

It is so hard when you get lots of conflicting advice but good luck.

PinkTulips · 30/05/2007 10:33

BS.... if she's hungry she's hungry, a book doesn't know your baby.

ds is 10 months and still feeds at nigh, between 1 and 5 times!

recently he's starting having one feed before i go to bed and sleeping through but other nigths like last night he still needs more food.

6.5 months is very young, i night weaned dd at that age and i regret it now as she wasn't ready, and that said i only refused to feed her between 12 and 5am so wasn't proper night weaning

Chirpygirl · 30/05/2007 10:40

I fed DD at night until she was well over 10 months old. As you say she solids are taking up space in her stomach that used to be full of milk, and milk is a lot more calorific so she may well need 'more' milk.

It should settle down soon, I remember DD being like this after I had started giving solids.

Malaleche · 30/05/2007 10:40

At that age they have a growth spurt dont they? My dd2 8 mo is stil waking n the night, sometimes i bfeed her sometimes i dont but i find that if i do she gets into a pattern of sleeping worse and waking more....what i did around that age is decided i would only bfeed once during the night and only between 3 and 5am, if she woke at other times i got her back to sleep by shushing and patting, a quick cuddle and rock (or occasionally shouting 'shut the fuck up' ) - whatever works for you! DD1 was such a good sleeper from 3 mo on that its irritating to realise that it may not have been down to my techniques but just the way she is. I swing from sleep training her back into a pattern i can deal with and leting it all slide if im to tired, what keeps me going is the fact that one day she will learn to sleep through...

Malaleche · 30/05/2007 10:41

to clarify - last sentence refers to dd2

Original poster

Tapster · 30/05/2007 10:48

We have tried saying we will only breast feed after 4 hours - so twice a night, worked at first. Then my aim was to increase the spacing between feeds but teething seems to have put us back again. My DH was up with her 1.5hours on Saturday night and managed to sshhh her to sleep but woke up 30mins later and I had to feed her.
She is a big girl was 19lbs at 27 weeks, not convinced that a few bits of toast and some pear is keeping her full. Of course DH's family all think she is "fat (MIL said that last week)and could do with some slimming down so doesn't need milk at night! Poor DD she has only ever had BM she was born 91st percentile and has remained on the line ever since which I think is fine. I love my little round girl, I would just like hArghhh...

OP posts:

Original poster

Tapster · 30/05/2007 10:48

We have tried saying we will only breast feed after 4 hours - so twice a night, worked at first. Then my aim was to increase the spacing between feeds but teething seems to have put us back again. My DH was up with her 1.5hours on Saturday night and managed to sshhh her to sleep but woke up 30mins later and I had to feed her.
She is a big girl was 19lbs at 27 weeks, not convinced that a few bits of toast and some pear is keeping her full. Of course DH's family all think she is "fat (MIL said that last week)and could do with some slimming down so doesn't need milk at night! Poor DD she has only ever had BM she was born 91st percentile and has remained on the line ever since which I think is fine. I love my little round girl, I would just like hArghhh...

OP posts:

Original poster

Tapster · 30/05/2007 10:48

We have tried saying we will only breast feed after 4 hours - so twice a night, worked at first. Then my aim was to increase the spacing between feeds but teething seems to have put us back again. My DH was up with her 1.5hours on Saturday night and managed to sshhh her to sleep but woke up 30mins later and I had to feed her.
She is a big girl was 19lbs at 27 weeks, not convinced that a few bits of toast and some pear is keeping her full. Of course DH's family all think she is "fat (MIL said that last week)and could do with some slimming down so doesn't need milk at night! Poor DD she has only ever had BM she was born 91st percentile and has remained on the line ever since which I think is fine. I love my little round girl, I would just like hArghhh...

OP posts:

Tommy · 30/05/2007 10:59

I breastfed DS2 at night util he was about a year and he ate really well during the day but just seemed to need it - I think it just depends on the child (unfortunately for you). If I were you I would carry on feeding her at night if it works for you and try to ignore MIL

USAUKMum · 30/05/2007 11:00

both my DC required feeding at night until 10.5 mths. Each baby is different and if you think she is hungry, then in my experience nothing else except "food" (ie BM ) will work

I remember being at wits end that people keep telling me that they didn't need feeding after 6 mths. Well, mine certainly did. We did teach them to fall asleep by themselves (DD at 9mths, DS at 7 mths), so after that it was fed, put back in cot. And then one night they slept.

You are doing great, just trust yourself.

tibsy · 30/05/2007 11:01

hi tapster, i'm following the gradual retreat method too (although have been a bit lax recently ) but am still bfing dd once maybe twice a night. would love for her to sleep through, but i figure shes still only little (9 mnths) and she needs it

PinkTulips · 30/05/2007 11:13

malaleche.... we have 'shut the fuck up' nights too, your not alone. that's usually dp's cue that i'm losing it and he needs to get his ass in the room now!

other popular mantra's include 'why are you doing this you little bollocks' and 'i swear to god i'll leave you to cry you little shit'

despite my obvious lack of parenting skill he seems to be learning to sleep through and is capable of falling asleep by himself

Original poster

Tapster · 30/05/2007 12:03

Too tired at the moment to even shout at her! She is such a lovely girl during the day happy & smiley, wonderful to be with. She is nearly always with me so I wonder if she thinks at night where has mumy gone. Tried sleeping in the same room again for 3 days she woke even more.

Really surprised that GR hasn't worked for the wakings.

OP posts:

archiesmummy · 30/05/2007 13:32

Haven't read allthe posts so not sure if this has been said.

Sometimes LOs are so busy in the daytime that they don't get all the BM they need and so they have to feed at night. Apparently night time is the most natural time to BF according to my BFC, since you can both relax and lost of milk is produced.

Also, I still BF DS, who is now 17 months old, at night whenever he wants, which can be a lot when teething/growing or for some other reason

Malaleche · 30/05/2007 21:37

oh pinktulips glad im not alone, last night it was 'shut up you little bitch ive had enough' but i felt really bad about that right away , probably i should save it for when she's a horrible teenager, which she will no doubt be given my level of parenting skills .....

Malaleche · 30/05/2007 21:41

I am a veteran CCer but maybe we should all just accept that we are going to have interrupted nights for some time to come, but that one day, one day, the little blighters will sleep through and it wont be a one-off-fluke-just-joking sleeping through but will happen the next night and, oh joy, the one after that and .......

PinkTulips · 31/05/2007 11:38

it can happen, ds teased me with random sleeping through for ages but he's slept through 3 out of the last 5 nights now, the nights he's terrorist he really pushes me (woke up at 11 last night and didn't go back to sleep til gone 4) but he's an angel the other nights!

kayjayel · 31/05/2007 12:55

Hi Tapster,
to echo what others said my DS dropped night feeds at 8.5 mths, I'm sure he needed it, and it was his initiation. Didn't refuse bf, just started to use cuddles instead, and showed less interest (brief suck then asleep). I found I could get him back to sleep with rubbing his back or similar. Was dreading the 'dropping the night feed' battle, so I was a bit surprised! Still wakes, though (at 21 mths ), but god knows why. So I would feed if she seems to need it. Just give alternatives on the off chance she'll take them!

MissGolightly · 31/05/2007 13:03

DS needed nighttime feeds until he was 11 months.

Although I read plenty of books saying that he shouldn't need a nightime BF from about 9 months, I reckon it was truly that he needed them until that point - I could sometimes shush him off to sleep without a feed but he would just wake again half an hour later and be inconsolable unless fed him, whereas if I fed him he would calmly go to sleep and sleep for another 4 hours.

So I'd say feed her - by far the quickest options. She WILL sleep through, I think it is in books' interests to make us believe that you have to DO something to MAKE them sleep through (ie buy their book) whereas in fact most babies just do it when they're ready, be that 2 months or 12 months.

redhedjane · 31/05/2007 20:26

Tapster, my DS is the same age as your DD give or take a week, and we are having a similar experence. He feeds at bedtime (about 6.30pm) 11-12pm and around 4am. he is also waking loads of time at night (hourly last night between 12 and 4), and i don't think it is hunger- seems to be teeth. However when he does feed, he feeds a lot and for 20 mins at least so I have assumed that he needs the feeds. I just wish he would sleep in-between...

tibsy · 01/06/2007 09:53

just read redheadjanes post and have to agree that sometimes the teething can make them want to feed more. weds night dd fed 3 times through the night, she'd been fractious (read mardy!) during the day with her teething. last night, fed once, she'd been fine through the day too. it obviously offers comfort, so bravo for bfing i say, otherwise, i'd have been tramping downstairs to get the calpol and treading the floorboards to soothe her at ungodly o clock