5 month old won't let me put him down

[JuliaJacobJim]

Hello. My husband and I would like some advice. Our DS was born at +12 days and weighed 8lbs 14oz and has been breast fed from day 1. I had to have emergency surgery right after delivery (though we did get our golden hour of skin to skin) but in order for me to recover we were advised to co share with baby and feed him to sleep most nights. From the day he was born he wouldn’t let me put him down so we ended up buying a sling. During the day DS would nap on me as this was the only way he'd sleep. This all worked great for the first few months. DS is now five months old and we've spent the last two months since I’ve recovered trying to get him to settle in his next 2 me bedside crib for daytime naps and night time. He pretty much won't sleep too long unless he is on me. He will sometimes go down and maybe sleep in his next 2 me for around 1 to 2 hours but recently he's been awakening as soon as we put him into it. This is after he's been rocked to sleep on me and had a good feed and got into a deep sleep for 20mintues. If he does sleep in the next two me, he awakes during the night and feeds off me and will go back to sleep, but only after he's been lifted from the next 2 me into bed bedside me. During daytime he awakes as soon as I put him down in the next 2 me so daytime naps still are not great, unless DS is napping on me. My husband and I are wondering what else we can do to help baby settle to sleep and not wake up as soon as he's put down? DS has plenty of wet and dirty nappies so this would make us think he's getting enough food from me, though we have started to wean him just last week and it's going ok. We have the bedroom at a nice temperature and have a t shirt of mine in the next 2 me. We also play white noise. I am just worried that baby will not get into a routine, that he isn’t sleeping enough and this could affect his development. It's hard to seek any advice from family as we are the first to breast feed and they all say that the we as children were great sleepers. Our main concern is that I have to start back to work in January and DS will be going into nursery. My worry is that DS won’t sleep without me. I love the attachment but at the same time would like to ensure baby is able to sleep without me for nursery. I suppose the other thing we find tough is friend’s babies at a similar age sleep right through the night and have their naps. Any help would be gratefully appreciated.

Firstly ignore what your friends say their babies are doing, they're probably grossly exaggerating or downright lying! Each baby is different so stop comparing! Secondly, your baby's development will not be affected by their sleep/lack of it. And forget about trying to get baby into a routine, causes more problems and stress than it solves.
My dd sounds very similar to your LO. She refused to nap anywhere or on anyone other than me until about 16 weeks. I then figured out that a combo of swaddling/dummy/rocking or bouncing would enable my dd to sleep for about 30 mins- 40 if i was lucky! And it worked best if we started the nap process after 90 mins awake time. But it was very much trial and error. My dd didn't sleep through until 12 months, until then she regularly woke 3/4/5 tines a night. It nearly broke me! I honestly only survived by safe bed sharing. I would put her down to aleep for her first stretch in the crib or cot but after the second feed i would usually fall asleep with hwr in bed next to me. I gave up on trying to get her to sleep in the next to me pretty quickly! I just did what i needed to do to maximise sleep and therefore my sanity! I think with ebf babies you just have to go with it. Life is easier when you stop stressing about what babies "should" do and just focus on how to make life more bearable. My dd is 14 mo now, and is (mostly) sleeping through in a cot in hwr own room.

Oh and wrt nursery, your baby will sleep if they're tired and will adapt to a different way of sleeping of they have to. At my dd nursery they use white noise, which i never bothered with, and she sleeps just fine there. Also January is a long time away so don't spend time worrying about it now

Try these things:

1. Put a hot water bottle in his bed to warm it up before he goes in, then it's not a shock when u lay him down and it's cold.

1. Put a couple of used breast pads under his bed sheet so he can smell your breast milk.

1. And this was the best for me. Put a rolled up towel under the bed sheet. So it's like a little cocoon for him to sleep in. The hospital did this when my little bubba had jaundice and I did it when I got home, worked a treat. I've attached a pic for you to see what I mean. I just use one around her top half now as she has grown.

Hope that helps xx

Also, sometimes when my baby doesn't settle I take her mattress out of her Moses basket and put it next to me. Then when she is fast asleep I sneak her carefully back into her basket.

To be safe I do these things:

1. Fella sleeps in spare room so it's just me and baby
2. Baby is always on top of duvet and has own blanket and mattress.
3. I sleep on my side facing baby.

Xx