Don't want to do CC, too tired for GW....so when can I expect DS to start sleeping of his own accord?

[blob2be]

He is 7 months old. His sleeping is pretty atrocious (on average wakes every 2 hours and I'm too tired to do anything other than BF back to sleep). He starts off in his cot and ends up in bed by about 3am. I just wondered what anyone's experience is of waiting for them to grow out of it? Will I still be feeding him 5 times a night when he's 2 (please no!)? There has been no real improvement in his sleeping since he was 3 months old!

well, dont want to make you feel hopeless, but I did cc (don't know what gw is) and still neither of my dds slept through the night till they were 2and a half (years that is)

CC did help tho- I would count it as successful as they did learn to go to sleep on their own without feeding/ being rocked and it made me feel a little more in control to have a plan.

hav eyoyu tried pick up put down

whats GW?

well.... ds is 15 months now, and his sleep has improved, but is still bad. He stopped wanting to feed to sleep by himself, stopped wanting to be held to sleep by himself, now we're hanging on for stopping wanting to have someone there with him so he can go to sleep... Fine at bedtime, less fine at 10, 12, 3, 5 etc.

We tried cc, was hell on earth and we stopped after 5 nights of hysterical crying (3-4 hours of screaming per night and developing fear of bedtime). Tried gw, and couldn't get past holding hands in the cot, but will try again once this bout of teething is over. Went all through the NCSS and can rest assured that bedtime routine etc is brilliant. I'm hoping, like you, that it will just get gradually better. Interested in what anyone with older dcs has experienced...

I think GW is gradual withdrawal (will have to check again though!). Think is similar to the pick up/put down method, but working gradually towards just shushing them to sleep. But I just hate the sound of him crying and the quickest way to stop it is to put a boob in his mouth! Hellish, how many nights of CC did you do before it worked? At this stage sleeping through seems impossible _ I'd be happy if he was still waking only 2 or 3 times!

Bikebug, did you do anything to get him to give up night feeds/beingn held to sleep or did he do this by himself?

blob2be, he gave up being held to sleep all by himself - just started to squirm and struggle out of our arms and demand to be put down. With the night feeding, I did make an effort to stop that (and distinctly remember him throwing his cup of water across the room in a rage when he was offered that as a substitute). But feeding stopped acting as a sedative long before that - he wanted to feed alright, it just didn't make him sleep any more. DH helped with night wakings for a week to kick the feeding habit.

Re. the night feeds, you could try offering watered down EBM from a bottle. I did this with dd and the effect was dramatic - a lot of protest the first night, minimal the second and after that she slept through.

oh sorry, hadn't read bikebug's post well enough - obviously it doesn't work for everyone!

nothing works for us abracadabra. Been there, done that, got the bags under the eyes etc etc. But I think it does work for lots of people, and it's good to tick it off the list as a reason for night waking

3 nights of CC always saw a big improvement. I'm not sure if I did it 'properly" but (i hated my babies crying), I used to:
_ Go through bed time routine, cuddle put in cot
_ Baby crying straight away, wait outside room on stairs for 2 mins
_ - go in pick up - baby stop crying, then put back in cot (trying not to speak / too much eye contact).

• Go wait on stairs for 3 mins repeat - gradually increasing number of mins.

When baby woke in night (always did) )I did same,
I know it sounds really pathetic sitting on stairs looking at the second hand of my watch. But TBH it was alot better than rocking ,walking up and down, sitting on floor with hand through cot bars etc. I just felt so much better with a plan to stick to.

After 3 nights baby would got to sleep with very little or no crying and would do same in night.

I did CC lots of times - after baby ill or holidays needed to do again to re - teach self-settling. NB it was never as traumatic as the first time and always good results.

Hellish, how long did it take? As in, how long would your baby generally cry for before finally going off to sleep? DS is so persistent - he always always wins in a battle of wills! I know CC could work but I'm worried I won't have the willpower to see it through, and then I'll just end up with a traumatised, confused baby who still doesn't sleep! Am wondering about leaving him to cry while he is in bed with me. He cries for me to breastfeed him, although he only really comfort sucks. So if I refuse to BF him, but just cuddle and shush him, would that be as traumatising for him? He gets pretty worked up when he doesn't get booby!

tbh i am having trouble remembering - 4 years later. I think it could have taken an hour or so, and I remember there being serveral "stair sitting' sessions during some nights. But I used to hate hearing them scream so I used to keep the time between going in as small as I could - don't think I ever stayed out longer than 10 mins, I think i used work up to 5 then go in every 5.

I always thought the key was in not talking/ to them, i just picked them up and held them for a min to show them that I was still there, then lay them straight down again and left the room quickly - oh and no lights on.

How old is your lo?? oh just read he is 7 months I didn't do it before 9 months (because I read somewhere that was a good time to try)

our dd is much better than she was (now 11mths). used to be the same - feed back to sleep 2-3 times per night. over the last 5 mths we've done cc a few times and more recently, as we were convinced she didn't need milk overnight dh took over and would go in each time to soothe. she grad stopped waking up at night although still does sometimes, but much better.sorry -in a bit of a rush - could answer ques tomorrow if you think i can help

DS grew out of it very suddenly at 3 and a half. Still waiting for DD (2).

ds - we tried cc, after trying everything else (PUPD, No Cry Sleep Soln) and under pressure that it would sort things out, at about 14mths. Two weeks later, it stilll hadn't worked. He started sleeping right thro night reliably just before 2 - had a few wobbles when his little sister was born, and now (at 3) is 95% reliable.
With dd, we've done nothing to encourage her sleeping through (she has milk & comes into bed with us if she wakes up), and (14mths) she sleeps through approx 50% of the time.

i did cc about a month ago after my ds's sleep went haywire at four months. he was waking every 2 hours and would only go back to sleep with my boob in his mouth. it took about 3 - 4 nights (improving each night) and when he woke in teh night i did the same thing. i was sure he was not hungry and hung onto the fact that my boob was not sending him to sleep, it was why he was waking up! i would not advocate cc but i was desperate and it worked like magic. ds never uswed to nap in his cot either and now he has two good naps per day either in his cot or out and about - no probs (usually!) He is now 8.5mths. hth

Thank you everybody for your messages. After considering what you have all said, and after an even worse than usual night, I am thinking about doing a moderated version of CC when he is in bed with me. I've started a new thread to see if anyone has any experience of this and if it might work! Thanks again for all your messages, they have all been really helpful.

Cruise - did getting your ds to nap in his cot also involve some crying? My 5 month old ds will only nap in his pram at present and am trying to work out the best way to get him to make the transition to his cot.

Sorry to hijack your thread blob2be

mamarug - yes, it did. but once i knew he could sleep in his cot at night, i pretty much knew he was objecting not upset iyswim! his naps are fantastic now (we are talking about an erratic 30min napper before) and he can move about as he wishes instead of being prone in his buggy. he was 7.5 - 8mths though before i tried it.

Funnypeculiar, what did you do when cc hadn't worked at 2 weeks?

sorry lilysma - only just saw this - um, we gave up & went back to our own, softer approach - going in & patting him til he calmed down.

Thanks for the reply. When you say it hadn't worked, do you mean lo wasn't sleeping through? I'm on night 12 with dd (6.5 months) and she has slept some longer stretches than before, but last night and some other nights she has gone back to waking every 2-3 hours, although she does settle herself within 5-15 mins. Not sure when to jack it in as i'm finding it increasingly hard to bear the crying

my ds (now 9mths) was a terrible sleeper, waking up every 2hrs all night and refusing to nap during the day except in my arms. finally got some help from a nursery nurse that the health visitor put me in touch with. we were totally exhausted and didn't feel we had any reserves left to deal with the problem. She suggested that we worked on the daytime naps first, because i had just a little more energy in the morning. I was really adament that I didn't want to do cc, but she suggested a really weak version whereby I went into him every 2mins. she also suggested that i didn't put him up when I went in there, cos by picking him up I was telling him that his cot was a scary place and he was only safe in my arms. instead i had to talk to him reassuringly for 30-60 secs, praising him, and then leave using the same words (kissing him and saying 'night night, see you soon, love you') the first morning we tried this he cried for 20mins (which was horrible, cos I hate him crying) but fell asleep in his cot by himself and had a hour and a half nap for the first time ever. by the third day he was settling within five mins. the increased daytime sleep seemed to help his nighttime sleep, reducing the nighttime wake ups. when he did wake we did the same thing, and after two nights he slept through. he also dropped nighttime bfs by himself at the same time.

this has made such a huge difference. he now sleeps 8-6 95% of the time, and has two daytime naps lasting 1-2 hrs each. I feel like I have my life back, and my ds is so much happier. good luck!

Babypringle, this sounds like a very similar approach to that which a sleep consultant suggested to me, so is encouraging to hear a success story. How old was your DS when you did this?

okay I'm going to bump this because I'd like to know how old babypringle's baby was when she did this - mine sleeps well during the night (well, for 2hrs at a stretch) but won't be put down during the day. He's only 7 weeks so I'm not thinking of cc or anything else - but god if I could just get him in his cot for one nap a day my life would be soooooo much better!