Friends don't understand baby bedtime

[NoLongerAskedForID]

I'm not moaning, I have lovely friends and I appreciate being included in plans.

But one in particular always asks me to do stuff I simply can't. Always. And I start to feel bad for constantly saying no. I imagine as a childless person, she quietly thinks that I'm a bit precious about 8 mp old baby's bedtime

Just letting it out here really. A mixture of angst, guilt (towards friend, towards baby), questioning whether I'm doing it "right" and general FOMO

It is normal that people with no children do not realize a lot of things that for us parents seem so obvious.
Just explain it to her that making plans for you in the evenings is more difficult now and you cannot do it on a regular basis. But I do not agree with you not being able to do anything at that time ever (unless you are a single mum with no help, that would be completely different). I strongly think that we mums should try to make plans without babies every now and then too and see friends without the baby sometimes, it is good to disconnect a bit (obviously that will depend on how old is your baby, it is not the same a few weeks old baby than a toddler).

Me and my partner have a deal and both of us are allowed to go out once a week with friends and the other one will do the bedtime routine on his/her own. There are weeks when we don't do this, but we do it quite often, and it is very nice . Maybe you can do something similar if your baby is not too young or you are not breastfeeding and make some plans with your friend?

We occasionally also go for lunches to friend's housed which extend until after the bedtime routine of DD, as long as it is not often, we do this sometimes as well, DD comes with us and by the time she should be asleep we put her in her buggy and sleeps there until we arrive home, then we put her in her cot.

I think it is important to find a balance.