20 month old bedtime routine

[Vee24]

Hey guys
I'm not that used to mumsnet but I wanted to ask a few things. I have a 20 month old and I've moved him into his own bedroom with his cotbed. Problem is he wants to sleep on the bed but this wouldn't work as he moves a lot in his sleep and I'm worried he could really hurt himself if he fell off as the beds are high rather than those low set ones. I worry about the cotbed as I have to keep an eye on the camera and stepping in as he tries to climb out whilst crying profusely ... I go back every 5 mins for a kiss and hug and lay him down ... he keeps crying but after an hour settles. Tonight was the second night and I just found myself feeling pretty low and just feeling bad to hear him cry for me so much. I don't want to lose a bond by doing this...or do I just sound silly? Any tips or ideas to help me through or is it a case of keeping going and eventually he'll settle and be happy to sleep in his cotbed without crying?

20 months is far to young to move baby out of a cot imo, unless you cosleep. So defo keep the cot.

If he's crying, I wouldn't leave the room. But I would carry on doing what you are - having him lie back down every time he gets up.

I'd suggest instead of you lying him down, that you start working on instruction following and get him to lie down himself without your help.

Play some instruction following games during the day. Practice instruction following constantly, all day. Things like:

• put this in the bin
• can you bring me the ball?
• take your plate into the kitchen
• take this to Daddy for me please
• can you touch your nose/elbow/ears etc?
• I want you to sit here
• can you stand up please
• "Mummy says.." games, like Simon Says but with all if them being an instruction. Roll over, stand on one foot, lie down, stand up

Generally give instructions for DC to do things independantly whenever possible. Tons of praise every time he follows znd instruction you give. Make it so he wants to follow the instruction.

Then at bedtime, stop lying him down. Stop completely, don't do it at all at any time. Put him in the cot standing up, tap the mattress, say "lie down" and wait. Big praise, eye contact and close physical contact (ie you leaning into the cot) when he follows the instruction. Stay close by while he lies down and settles.

Then every time he goes for sitting up or getting up, tap the mattress again and repeatedly just keep getting him to lie himself back down.

Thank you FATEdestiny that's a really thoughtful and helpful response. You're right in that he's too young to be out the cot... other mothers said they have let them out the cot and just put those bed guards up but I don't feel very secure about that! I think you're right it's more about helping him understand not to jump and climb out the cot and help him to understand he'll be ok in his cot. Tonight was a little easier even though he did cry a little but this time I left the room once he stopped crying and said this is your bed and gave him a kiss and cuddle. Hopefully it'll get easier!