Reducing night feeds - hints, tips, support needed . Thank you!

[Bea1985]

Hi all,

My baby is 7mo and has just gone into her own room. I'm so shattered I can barely write in coherent sentences but will really try not to drip feed.

She has been FF since 3months and has always woken 4-5 times a night and I have been feeding her (until 2 nights ago) back to sleep each time.

I figured she was so small and was drinking 5-7oz each night feed so I figured she must really need it and will just naturally start feeding less at night.

This hasn't happened! She still wakes on average 4 times. She consumes at least 20oz overnight. I started earning her at 5months and have just put her in her own room- neither have helped.

I'm starting to get really quite ill with prolonged sleep deprivation and have decided 2 days ago that I must try and redress the balance, encourage her to consume more during the day and both space out and reduce the volumes of night feeds.

I have no idea what I'm doing really but my plan is-

-Offer 4oz per feed this week, 3oz per feed next week, and when she is having under 2oz per feed try and start dropping feeds.

-Trying to space out feeds gradually, offering funny water and shushing to sleep.

• Not feeding her to sleep in the evening , feeding her in a chair in the bedroom and putter her in cot awake (still have to go and shush / put sunny in 5-6 times before she drops off, but trying not to go into the room unless she is properly crying.

• encouraging her to eat and drink as much as possible during the day. Difficult as she is often not interested !!!

I feel cruel but I haven't slept for more than 3 hours in a row in such a long time. Hubby often works away, he has done 3 waking nights since she was born and let me sleep.... but other than that I've been surviving in no sleep. Feeling constantly nauseas (even did a pregnancy test today as was so queasy - thankfully negative)!

Has anyone else done similar gradual reduction in milk feeds at night? Anything I need to change? Thanks so much !!

*i started weaning her at 5 months, not earning ...

Offering dummy, water .... not funny water !! Dear god...!

I haven't had this, and it does sound horrendous, you poor thing. Could you take a few days to stay at home and give her milk basically all the time (obvs you can't force her to drink but just offering non stop), making that the sole focus? Then hopefully she would take a little more during the day and not at night. Your plan sounds like a good one anyway. Can you health visitor advise at all?

How are her naps? Are you getting out into the sunlight every day so her body clock knows when day and night are? A random one but maybe trying something like swimming during the day that might make her super hungry? Or (and I don't know anything about it) hungry baby milk to help?

Have you tried dream feeding before she wakes up for the first time in the evening?

Oh you poor thing! I second hungry baby formula and filling her up before bed? Best of luck, sleep deprivation is the worst.

How much is she eating during the day? I had a frequent night feeder (breastfed so not sure on quantities but every 2-3 hours) and I hugely upped food intake. He has breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper which I make as filling as possible - milky porridge with banana or something along those lines. I also started shushing and waiting 10mins before feeding as often he re-settled within that time frame. He is now 12mo and night feeds have pretty much stopped although he has been waking at about 3am for the last couple of days but I've put that down to the warm weather and thirst so have been offering water. Good luck!

How often is your DH at home? One of the main advantages of FF is being able to split the feeds 50/50, so you'd 'only' be doing two each if she wakes up 4 times on average?

Hi all,

I did dream feed her for a while but it wasn't making any difference but I do now find myself going to bed and finding it hard to sleep (despite exhaustion) as I am just "waiting for her to wake up". So I will start dream feeding at 10.30ish and see if that helps!

She is quite good at knowing night from day. When she "wakes" for night feeds she isn't really awake, eyes shut and thrashing her head around crying. When she wakes up in the morning she has her eyes wide awake and calmly babbles for a while. It seems that she does almost want to sleep through, but can't because she is hungry and uncomfortable ?

I do try and take her out during the day, esp in the lovely weather and she loves being outside (much less whingey than in the house)!

What else.... oh she has just started sitting up, and playing independently in a very focused way. She is actually now quite obsessed about playing with particular toys, sitting up and trying to crawl. Her weaning was going great (3 meals a day, eating whole jar sometimes) till she could sit up and she has somewhat lost interest in food and milk during the day since this time. (Could be coïncidence, could be teething or the hot weather I guess). So I feel like I've been spending my days offering her milk and food constantly, a lot of which goes to waste , but I will keep trying!

We have a sound bedtime routine,bath at 1815,book bottle and bed at 1900 (sometimes awake in cot. Tonight she went in cot asleep as fell asleep in my arma during last feed as did not take afternoon nap).

Her naps are 2-3 a day, average one hour ... she does love a 15 min micro nap though and on bad days it feels like she has barely napped! Today she had 1.5 hours this morning and a further 30 mins at about noon, no afternoon nap despite my best efforts!

So tonight I will dream feed and stick to 4oz at a time during the night , but trying dummy , water etc before I give milk.

(Last night I did get her to nod off a couple of times without feeding her but 10 mins alt t she was crying again)!

Thanks again x

Are you sure she is hungry at night? When my DD hasnt napped v well during the day she does the crying and thrashing with her eyes closed. I go in and turn on Ewan and she drifts off again. If I got her out of her cot she would eat but I know she doesn't need it. She's 6 months old.

I would try and cut out one feed at a time, rather than reduce all of them together.

So wake her to feed at 10.30 (see if you can get DH to do that one) and give as much as possible.

Then decide you are not going to offer milk if she wakes before 2.30, but shush and maybe a little cool water.

Wake her to feed at 2.30.

Then the same again until 5.30am. Then if you can get that established, every couple of nights reduce the oz at 2.30 by 1 oz every 2 nights. Once it is down to 2oz, cut it out.

Once that is established, inch the 5.30 one forward by 15 mins every couple of nights until she is established at 6:30\7am ish.

Then start moving the 10.30 pm one earlier by 15 mins each night. When it gets to 9 pm, start offering an oz less each couple of nights until its only 2oz, then stop (and cross your fingers)

Write it all down on a big sheet of paper before you start and stick it to her bedroom door. That way if you forget what you are meant to be doing at 3am, you can double check.

If illness or teething interfers, just go back a couple of steps until ahe is well again and plod on with the system again

I had this problem with my breast fed baby, was waking hourly, and the advice from the GP was to give larger feeds but with longer gaps between during the day so the baby gets used to having 3-4 hour gaps between food. It did work and he now sleeps from 10.30 to 3am most nights unless he's ill or teething.
Could you get your mum or MIL to come and help for week to reduce to night feeds as they will probably be able to settle her without milk, successfully and calmly.

Thanks both so much. Seatosky o think you are right, that makes so much sense. I'll copy that plan out and try it tonight. Fingers crossed!

What should I do if she wakes at say 1am and won't settle without shushing etc ... I guess I need to stick to my guns don't I ?!

< feels a bit scared >

She's just woken up, she's been asleep for 90 mins !!!

Just stretch her as much as you can, offer water, she is not too young for a little gentle controlled crying. Every 15 mins you gain is a win. Its painful while you are doing it, but you are saving your sanity for the next x months. See if DH can take her during the day for a chunk of time at the weekends (maybe for a walk so out of the house) and you can get a good 3 hour stretch of sleep

I really sympathise

My little one has too decided to eat at night, rather than the day- so I am watching this thread with interest.

I have read Ferber who says to try and stretch the gap longer and longer each time. So if baby wakes from between two and five hours take the shortest and try and stretch it out longer each night and give them a little less each time.

Your baby like mine has learnt that night time is time for feeding and needs to unlearn it. However, my baby will cry and cry until he is fed, it's so hard in the middle of the night to deny them food as he is hungry- he just has his mealtimes mixed up.

I think for me, I will try this when I stop b feeding as easier to know amounts and reduce them etc.

Good luck and please let us know how you get on.

Hi all,

So last night I tried:

-Dream feed 10.30 - as much as possible

-Water and shushing only

-Wake her to feed at 2.30 - aim for 4 Oz only

-Wake her to feed at 5.30 - aim for 4 Oz only

Last night---
She went to sleep at 1900 having drank 6oz.

I managed to shush her back to sleep when she woke at 2030. She then woke at 2130 and cried till 2210 so I fed her a bit early (6oz).

She woke at 0130 and I shushed her back to sleep. She then woke every 15 mins until 0215 when she started really crying so again I fed her a bit early!

My alarm went off at 0530 and I essential dream fed her, 4oz.

She then woke at 0645, wide awake an babbling.

So sort of went to plan with some earlier and than planned feeds and a lot of disruption from 0130-0215 as she wasn't happy with being "stretched".

I'll do the exact same tonight until we get it nailed then start reducing the 0230 feed.

It's hard work sticking to a regimen like this, in the short term it causes less sleep as you are making baby wait and they won't settle till fed. But it just MUST pay off in the end.

A friend of mine is a lecturer and BFs her 12mo. She said that last night he wanted to basically nurse all night, and she had work today. That is not happening to me (she says!!) and I am determined to crack this before I go back to work (when she is 11.5mo).

Good job OP, it's hard to do what you know is right in the face on insistent crying. Good luck for tonight!

Good luck OP. Short term pain for long term gain

Just out of interest, why set an alarm for 5.30? She’d wake around then or even 6 or later, herself, if hungry? I’ve read you shouldn’t wake babies so the plan sounds great but I wouldn’t be waking her, personally. Use the plan as the minimum timing gaps, surely?

I waked her at 0530 on the really helpful advice of seatosky. When I say wake - I'm dream feeding her. Not speaking to her or actually waking her, just enough to get her to drink.

Y'day the 0530 worked at treat and she slept till 7. This morning I'm feeling guilty re the 0530 as she was asleep when I went in and by the time I'd finished the feed she was wide awake. Now in cot with white noise on but not going back to sleep. I'm wondering if she might have slept till 0600 or later if just left. I'll see what happens; she has gone v quiet whilst typing this!

I hope she dropped off :) Sorry, didn’t mean to sound confrontational, was just wondering. I’ve never woken the baby, with the view that if he needs me he’ll wake himself up and I’ll definitely know about it 😂 Hope things continue to improve! Was interested to read advice on how to cut out night feeds, from pps.

I just saw your post that she was asleep at the 5:30 feed. That is wonderul that she is transitioning so fast, I thought she might be so used to feeding at night that she would need that feed for much lnger..

If she is still fast asleep this morning, that might be the first feed you want to start shifting. So you could let her sleep through that one if you want. Have a think about when you want to establish first feed of the day/breakfast and then aim for that. Think about if she wakes an hour before that or 2 hours before that are you going to shush or offer water etc. i would suggest aim for 7am to take her downstairs for breakast and then milk, if she wakes before 5:30, just a couple of oz and after that try the sushing and water route.

You know your DD best, so customise a plan for her, and remember to only work on one thing at a time and establish it for a few days before you start on the next

Thanks both, so nice that you are taking the time to help. It's so hard to know what to do, esp as a first time mum, and you guys are keeping me on track!

Tonight I'll do last bottle 1900, dream feed 2230 and dream feed at 0230 and just leave her.... you are right I'd love to aim for 0700 so I'll try to keep her at bay till then but only if she wakes up and cries.

Assuming I can nail down the above (so feeding at 1900,2230, 0230 and then her sleeping till circa 0630-0700)..... I'm not sure what to do next?

Should I try and reduce them remove the 2230 feed (so she has to wait 7ish hours till 0230 then 4 ish hours till wake up)? Or should I try and reduce/remove the 0230 feed first, or very gently try and reduce both ?

Thanks again for your time, I've been fairly lost until now.

Personally, I would try and perhaps reduce one of the feeds slowky by a half an ounce or an ounce each time.

Ferber (you know that horrid nasty man that everyone hates on here as his method is controlled crying) has suggestions in one of his chapters in his book that I read with interest. He suggests lengthening the time slowly (15 mins each time) and reducing the feeds down slowly.

I don't know though!

I'm just going by common sense and what I read in his book.