Bedtime routine ideas

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I’m trying to start helping my 6 month old settle. He’s a frequent waker (every 2 hours). We used to rock to sleep, recently feed to sleep, then transfer to cot but these aren’t working so well. Am using no cry sleep solution book and first thing talks about is bedtime routine. This sounds like a good idea but I’m really stuck for calming activities. Baby mostly likes us to hold him up standing...

Bath seems to be quite stimulating, he splashes about then wriggles around while being changed. I stick with it as it’s something to do for 15 mins. He’s not too keen on longer baths.
Massage. No. This either makes him cry to be picked up, or he finds hilarious.
Books. Books are for smashing, grabbing and crumpling apparently. They are not calming.
Rocking and singing. This used to work, is now a cue to find everything in the room fascinating and need to touch it.
Cuddling. Cuddling is boring, much better to bounce up and down on mummy and daddy.
Putting him in the cot: cue lots of mini crunches to try and lift himself out, crying to be picked up. Will go down in cot if totally asleep. Otherwise, no dice. Drowsy but awake? Ha. Minute his back touches the cot he’s totally awake and invested in not being in cot. Possible legacy of being a sicky reflux baby, lying on back wasn’t a good thing until recently. Am working on making positive associations with cot.

I’m finding I have less and less patience as he basically fucks about for hours. The past week I’ve just given up and taken him downstairs so I can eat/ cook tea. I suspect overtired but without any kind of settling option apart from he cries whilst I rock him/ walk him I’ve no idea how to get more sleep in him.

What do you do with an active baby for bedtime? I get calming soothing activities but I have no idea what they are for him.

I recently did a course and one of the calm down activities they suggested for this age group was a treasure basket or bag - basically it contains things that aren’t usual toys such as wooden spoons, measuring spoons, bits of material, empty plastic bottles, silicon pasty brush ... things to explore and feel. The idea is you pull out one item at a time which focuses them.
It’s worth a shot and isn’t noisy and too stimulating.
Take care and hang in there things will get better

Ooo that’s a great idea! Thank you .

Hi op can I ask is this your first? I have 3, my 2 year old has only just started to settle himself and he still sometimes takes ages and messes about.

I've learnt that the best thing to do is just go with the flow & not worry honestly I've seen friends/family obsessed with routine to the expense of themselves.

With the 1st I almost broke myself doing a bedtime routine. It honestly wasn't worth the stress, yes a general routine is important but just enjoy them.
I have found that about 1-1.5 is the best age to start a bed time routine and even then a lose one, I can honestly my kids go to bed fine and sleep well.

I'm probably not a great person to give advice as my nearly 6mo is up fairly frequently in the night too - think we had three wake ups last night. But he sounds very similar to yours - I felt like I could have written your post!

For bedtime routine we do bit of nappy free time with some soothing classical music playing with a quiet toy, bit of a wash down with a nice warm cloth (or cool in this weather!), into pyjamas and then feed with white noise. I feed to very very drowsy most of the time and then transfer. Hoping to start putting him down earlier and earlier in this process.

I've recently started giving him a comforter to hold while I'm feeding him which has helped with transfer to cot, as has leaving my hands on his back (tummy sleeper) for 30 seconds or so after I lay him down. Might help?!

I’m really sorry but your post made me laugh out loud - believe me this is not at you, it was just because you so perfectly captured the situation that we are also in (though 9 months now, so the mini crunches have become hanging off the side of the crib standing up and sitting down repeatedly). I have just posted because I am out of ideas, so no suggestions for you I’m afraid - but I totally get the frustration and you have my absolute sympathy and understanding!

Just wanted to add that if my DS (5.5 months) is overtired or overstimulated before bed he tries to crumple the books, puts on a weird fake laugh and acts generally crazy we've found that if we wait too long to put him to bed this happens. Perhaps try an ever so slightly earlier bed time?

@sickoffamilydrama haha how could you tell? ;) yes I agree that routine needs to work for us rather than other way round.

Have been playing round with things and quiet playtime seems to work before bath/ change. I had an ‘aha’ moment when I realised this was all lovely mummy time for him. Not so much for me. So I’ve started to try and give him intentional mummy time (play) then make it less interesting the rest of the time. He didn’t sleep until 9 last night, having started process at 7pm. But I was less distressed because rather than interminable shushing I just put him in the sling and made dinner/ washed up. I’ve realised I can’t bear the faffing more than anything.

@sendhelpandgin solidarity! Yes I am definitely thinking about introducing comfort object. I think I need to revise my options though - have little teddy which is designed to be comfort object. Son had lovely time waving it around in one hand as he fed. Not exactly soothing. Something less exciting is needed!

@madbee thanks for sympathy. Oh lord the standing it’s coming!

What time do you eat? I find if DS eats late he mucks around at bedtime. We do dinner at 5.30, then playtime with daddy whilst I wash up and tidy round (my me time!!), then upstairs at 6.30, for bath, story, milk etc. Then into bed. I keep specific books upstairs for bed and the fun ones downstairs. You could buy a couple of new ones and rotate them. Whatever you do just stick with the bare bones for your routine.. esp tea time and when you go upstairs.

Standings ok.. as it comes with them using more energy in the day = more tired baby.

My 6.5 month old does this every day
Wake 7.30
Milk (6oz)
Breakfast 8.30
Nap 9.45-10.30
Lunch 11.30
Milk 12.30
Nap 1-3
Milk 3
Dinner 5
Milk 6.30
Bed 7. Sleeps through until the morning.
I put her in bed awake every single time for naps and at night and she puts herself to sleep.

Our routine for naps and bedtime is into sleeping bag, read the same story, sing twinkle twinkle, into cot wig full blackout and white noise

@april45 we’re still in early stages of solid food so eating is milk. I tend to do every 2 hours ish. Late nap is fatal though. Had one of those yesterday and was not good!

@lapinR0se ha we’ve never been that regular but looks fairly similar to our day. He just doesn’t sleep through, and isn’t big on restful routines...