9 year old daughter won’t sleep!

[Mrsb2018]

Hi everyone,
Im after some advice, I have a 9 year old daughter who plays up something rotten at bed time! During the school week we tell her she needs to be in bed for 8 and asleep for 8.30pm and on weekends 9! However as soon as we mention bed time to her she starts to complain saying she doesn’t feel well,somethig hurts ir she can’t breath properly! I try to reassure her and give her inhalers and I go through breathing methods with her but she will still get up out of bed and just won’t sleep! By the time she does eventually go to sleep it’s 10.30ish! Shell sometimes wake us up during the night too for no actual apparent reason! I’m currently 31 weeks pregnant and I just don’t know what to do any more I’m exhausted! Even trying to get her to get ready for school in the mornings is a loosing battle with her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! X

some children need less sleep than others maybe once it is the summer holidays let her stay up until tired

ok for sure the first night or 2 it will be a novelty and she will stay up to 10 or later but she will find a natural rhythm my DD is almost 9 she goes to bed at 9pm on a school night and is asleep after story by 9.10 she wakes 6.30-7.15 at weekend she may stay up to 9.30 we're in Scotland so holidays started yesterday

it is harder to sleep when it is not dark and when it is hot

at the moment she is not sleeping until 10.30 so of she stayed up till 9.30 then went straight to sleep she would actually behaving an hour more than she is now

good luck anyhow

I remember when i was young and not being able to get to sleep because it was so hot and still light out so I try not to be to harsh with her. We read her story’s and we even say to her she can stay up in bed and read a book but nothing seems to work :( I might just try putting her to bed later and see if she goes to sleep a bit easier. Thank you :) xx

Change the message helps allow reading drawing scrapbooking when she goes to bed bit no devices. Talk about trust and help her to choose a bedtime. My ds are both different they both go to bed at the same time one is asleep by 9 the other reading until 10pm. I'm fine with either way as long as they can do their school work

Is she awake before she needs to be in the morning, and what time is that?
My 9 yr old is a sleep dodger (always has been), and goes to bed at 8 or 8.30. BUT needs to be up around 5.30 every morning for school. If we lived somewhere that school started at a reasonable time, and so didnt get up til 7am, that would be a 9.30/10 bed time. So that might actually be the amount of sleep she needs.
However, does the morning battle mean she is still tired, so actually needs to go to sleep earlier? In which case I can't help, sorry.

Hiya, she’ll wake up anywhere between 5.30-6.30 in the morning apart from yesterday, she didn’t wake up till 7.45 which was a miracle for her! She has a habit of saying she doesn’t feel well and stuff all the time. This is always before school and before bed! I’m just a bit worried how I’ll handle things when baby comes coz sure enough I’ll probably just want to sleep as soon as baby is down but that will be impossible when my 9 year old won’t settle :( x

I do let her do things quietly In bed but she doesn’t seem interested, she’ll be up and down like a yo-yo complaing about stuff! It just baffles me. I wouldn’t mind her staying awake and reading a book ect but the fact that she won’t and will just constantly complain about things is so tiring. Sometimes I just tell her to go to sleep and ignore her to see if it helps but it ends in her having some sort of a tantrum x

I try really hard never to tell mine to go to sleep. I will tell him I need to sleep, so he needs to be quiet in bed, but try not to tell him he must go to sleep - ever remember lying in bed thinking you must sleep, and how it just makes you more panicky?

Yea this is what I say to mine I don’t mind her being awake it’s just all the caffuffle she makes

Just tell her to stay in her room. She's way past the age you should be dealing with this crap.

Is she anxious about something going on at home or school? It sounds like there might be any underlying issue if she's pretending she's ill in the evenings and mornings - it's classic attention seeking behaviour. As adults we find it hard to drop off to sleep if something's on our mind. If it's not school, perhaps she's worried the baby is replacing her? Maybe a chat is in order.

She keeps asking to change schools but she seems happy when I drop her off and pick her up. I know she clashes with a few of the boys in her class. There was an incident in school with another boy a few weeks back (he’d said some pretty graphic things to her) she told the teacher and I spoke the teachers about it too. We’re moving in the next couple of months which she’s aware of. I’ll take her out on her own with me and spend a girly day with her and have a chat to see if there’s anything bothering her! It’s just so hard trying to understand what’s going on with her :(