8 year old sleep gone to shit and I don't know what to do next..

[Youcantscaremeihavechildren]

She has now for about 4 weeks been going to bed as usual at around 7.30 after a bath and after coming down stairs about 3 times, having warm milk, food, meditation cds, story cds, sleepy fucking rabbit hypnosis, colouring, reading... Is still not asleep tonight at 11. She is shattered. I have to get her up at 6.45am and I don't feel comfortable going to sleep myself when she's rattling around. Tonight has been the worst night, it's been 9, 10, 10.30...her room is cool, we ate at 6ish, she's been up since 7..what the fuck do I do? Between her and her brother who won't sleep without me next to him I've had it.

Have you tried making the bedtime later? My 9 year old goes to bed about 9 but will have half an hour of laptop or reading before going to sleep.

Tonight was 8.30...still up. We start bath etc at 7ish, 7.30, then she's able to read as long as she likes. She needs to sit on the toilet for a while nightly due to constipation, reads then. I've taken the kindle fire away from 6.30 as she'll play Minecraft forever but it can't be helping. I mean she's going to get less that 7 hrs at this rate, has a 40 min walk to school and back and won't be home with me till 5..i had though maybe she just needs less but she's so difficult to wake.

Do you think she maybe needs to stay up a little later, then go to bed properly say, 8.30? Not sure what's the average but 7.30 is maybe too early for an 8 year old?
Do all as normal but rather than go to bed she can spend the extra hour doing only reading or listening to relaxing music/audio book then into bed, lights out and no getting up.
My other thought was something has happened to her. Is she worried about something? School? Something at home? Has she been ill? Nightmares?

Have you tried something for the constipation or changed diet or is it a food allergy/intolerance that causes it? Lactulose can be taken daily without any worries and if taken regularly works well. It helped my daughter loads.

Thanks. Maybe I need to try a later bedtime. Problem is I teach and need to be working from 8 till 10 really, or just done time to myself. 7.30 8ish was fine till a few weeks ago! I've asked, nothing worrying her at least she won't tell me anything. She's quiet, but seems happy, good frie ds at school, gets invited to stuff, plays with her brother, enjoys school. I just don't know. Constipation is since 6 months old, was an intolerance but fine now, just it went on for so long she has to sit to go to the loo daily as a habit thing. Has movicol if needed but barely does now. Still wet at night, wears pull ups. Is lazy so will wet them when half asleep too. Can hear her yawning now, told her she can read for a bit.

We were having similar problems with DD and have changed the evening routine. Still upstairs & into PJs & stories at 7.15 and then she reads in her room at 8.00 ... by which time the younger DC are asleep & she comes back down for 45mins. It's a fairly dull 45 mins as it includes piano practice, making packed lunches & that sort of thing so, if she wasn't genuinely wide awake, the novelty of the "late nights" would quickly wear off and she'd be asking to go back to her room. She's been asleep by 9pm since we started doing this and it's been a fortnight or so now.
Whilst it is working for her, it's been a massive adjustment for DH & I having her hanging around downstairs until 8.45!
I think she was previously getting so bored and trying so much to get to sleep when she just wasn't tired that she got herself into a real tizz.

Ah I feel ya op it's crap when you think you are way past that stage were sleep would be a problem and yet it is !! Mine is same age and I never had a problem as a baby/ toddler really anymore Untill he got older !!

Iv put bedtime back , half an hour of reading / colouring and then it's lights off and that's that !! Iv had to be strict or he'd be up untill 10 . He exhausted from school and after school clubs but will fight it so if I let him stay downstairs etc hel stay awake but just be moody.

Being stricter has worked and he goes to sleep pretty much soon as lights are out probably because there is no option for anything else to do !

Thanks people. I'm out tonight and dh is doing bedtime so it'll be a late one anyway should think... Then a wedding Saturday, so another late night.. She's shattered. I think I'll try getting her ready for bed with her brother and then let her stay up till 8.30, help g with boring stuff. Then 30 mins reading whatever lights out (another issue, has to have them on... ) at 9. Hopefully she'll be so tired from the weekend she will get an early night Sunday and will break the habit she's got into.

I think you need to accept you'll have to change your routine as she gets older. 7.30 sounds very early for an 8 year old to be in bed, especially in the summer. I'm pretty sure mine were still out playing at that age. I understand you need to work, but maybe let her stay up til 9 on the basis that you'll be working and she has to play quietly/watch TV/read from 8/9. I'd forget the bath and get her to have a quick shower.

I don’t have any solutions so following with interest- I too have kids that seem to think going upstairs to bed is another part of the day to play - they get on with each other best at this time and come up with actually great and imaginative games that I have to shut down and then they’re largely forgotten by morning.
I’m sooo tired of saying goodnight, stay in your own rooms, no talking - this is quiet time for reading (I’ve even had to stop her drawing because each drawing is accompanied by a Very Exciting And Dramatically narrated story!)

There's a book I've just bought that was recommended on here: What to do when you dread your bed. Haven't started using it yet but it looks very promising! It's on Amazon.

I'll look out for that book, sounds interesting. When I say 7.30, it really is more like 8.30 when we say come on into bed etc. But I've said tonight, get ready same time as your brother then you can stay up for a bit and play, read whatever, then lights out 9pm. We shall see. I'm going out at 8 anyway so DH can deal with it.. 😁