BF baby - how can DH realistically help with night wakings?

[nosleepnosense]

Ds2 is now 5 months and since 4 months has been waking at night every 2-3 hours. I'm absolutely shattered as have an older child to look after most days. Ds2 wakes and is almost instantly screeching until he's fed. (Not sure he's actually that hungry but wants comfort as well but just holding/rocking him doesn't stop the screeching)

I'm willing to try faffing with expressing if it means I can sleep even a full 4 hours but can't see how it'd work even if he took a bottle (haven't tried yet)? Dh would have to go downstairs, get a bottle out of fridge, warm it in warm water all while ds is shrieking away. Is there a quick way? Can breast milk stay out of the fridge for a couple of hours?

You have my sympathy. My eldest DC was like this, it was every 45-60 mins at one point which nearly broke me. We ended up co-sleeping, when he woke up DH would change his nappy and then I’d feed him back to sleep again. DS never took a bottle anyway but the Kellymom website has lots of information regarding breastmilk storage times:

kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/milkstorage/milkstorage/

DH can bring baby to you at first squeak, you feed lying down and doze, then DH takes baby way, changes nappy, and does all the settling. That way you barely wake up (as long as DH is on the ball).

Can your husband get the baby out of his cot to hand him to you in bed and feed lying down? Maybe take him again to wind him/change his nappy? I bottle-fed DD and she did 0-60 screaming for bottle when she woke in the night. It's grim.

How about trying a dummy for comfort or buying yourself a bit of time to warm a bottle?

DC2 due in a couple of days here and I am going to try breastfeeding again. We are doing separate beds this time so baby can come in beside me without worrying about cosleeping between two adults. Is there any way you can kick DH out into another room so you don't have to sit up, get him out the cot etc?

We worked out how long it took to just warm a bottle in the microwave and agitated it really well to try to avoid the risk of hot spots. I know you're not supposed to but we were careful and it worked for us. Cool bag and a second microwave in your bedroom for night? If we end up bottle feeding again, we'll buy another tippee machine for upstairs, as it still took too long before. I don't think I could manage expressing with an 18 month old to wrangle too. Kudos to you if you're doing it!

Sometimes just having moral support from your partner is a big help. I hope you're able to be really honest with him about how wrecked you're feeling. Even if he just woke up at the same time as you so you feel like he's sharing the pain might make a difference?

If it's any consolation, DD dropped the night feeds around the 6-9 month mark and then it got much easier. I appreciate it might be different for an EBF baby.

Good luck!

In our situation DP deals with DC2 if she wakes, and some nights I head to bed as soon as the DC are asleep to catch up on missed sleep.
You can leave expressed milk out for 2 hours, though I wouldn't if its as hot where you are as it is here at the moment.
You could use a cool box to keep it OK for longer, or DP could sleep on the sofa occasionally so you can cosleep for a night of not getting woken up properly.

DC3 hasn't settled for DP during the night when we've tried and I actually found it more tiring having him rocking him because it just meant he was awake for longer and harder to get back to sleep once DP handed him back!

Breastmilk would be absolutely fine left out if you had expressed it and bottle straight away that same evening just before you go to bed.

The 2 hours I said was from nicu and children's ward guidelines actually so Infrance2014 might be right - presumably as they get older it can be left a bit longer!

We did as a PP mentioned -DH lifts baby, I fed, DH took her back, changed her if necessary and settled back in Moses/cot. He was up at every night waking with me. He’s a keeper.

(Plus now at 4, If she wakes at night she will walk past my side of the bed to get to him, and I mostly don’t even notice! )

Thanks everyone for your advice and sympathy, it means a lot! We already have ds in a co-sleeper cot thing but I've never got the hang of feeding lying down.

Cool box is a great idea!

Dh is great and deals with getting ds1 ready in the mornings as baby has his longest sleep around 6-9 ish so I try and sleep then. Dh often sleeps in spare room to deal with ds1 without disturbing me but would help with whatever I asked him.

We don't usually change nappy at night unless really necessary and luckily baby goes straight back to sleep once fed (usually). It's getting him to sleep at bedtime in the first place that takes hours!

If he takes hours in the evening to first get to sleep you could try sticking something on TV while you're feeding him to make it more bareable. Bedtime is meant to be 7.30 here but DC3 quite often takes until 9.30-10 to actually go to sleep so after about 30-45 minutes if its looking like he's not planning on sleeping any time soon I usually head downstairs and feed him on the sofa while watching something so I'm not stuck upstairs for hours!

Why are people saying to change the nappy at every feed, is this a thing? I had no idea I was (maybe) supposed to be doing that! I feed while cosleeping and find 2-hourly waking no problem really.

It is the very reason I introduced a 10pm bottle. I just could not cope with so little sleep. It definitely helps!! Especially as you can go to sleep at 8.30pm and dh can dream feed ds and you might get at least a solid 5-6 hours that way.

I will be flamed but trust me I couldn't even boil a kettle I was incoherent with exhaustion.
It will pass is all I can say!

nosleep when did you last try feeding lying down? It didn't work for me with a tiny, floppy baby bit now he's a bit bigger and has control of his neck it works.

We dealt with that by dh doing the 10pm feed.
Dd would feed at around 7pm, and as soon as she had finished I'd go to bed, dh would settle her then (which took an age) and be in charge until she woke at 10pm for another feed (done with expressed milk which he'd warm at 10pm because her waking then was like clockwork) , and then settle her again. He'd get to bed around 11, by which time I'd have been asleep for 3 hours, so when she woke for her 1am feed I wasn't knackered

Elinor my son was a prolific pooper overnight until about 9mo, and bf so much his nappy would often leak with wee if he wasn’t changed once or twice overnight. He was a total and utter guzzler who would have been latched on 24/7 if he had the choice.

Thankfully DD (who is 14mo, still bf once/twice overnight) makes do with one nappy on overnight and has done since she was tiny.

I couldn't manage to feed lying down til DS was about 6 mo but it's saved me since then as we co sleep part of nearly every night as he's still waking minimum of 3 times and just turned one.

Oh right Lyrical that makes sense. We're on one colossal shit at about 6am at the moment. It's predictable at least.