Controlled crying...

[bigbluehouse]

In the middle of the first night of trying out controlled crying and it's utter hell.

This is a very last resort and I feel like the worst mum in the world but for my own sanity we need to do something...

Anyone got any positive stories or are trying it to?

My son is almost one.

(I only have an audio monitor not a video monitor)

Don’t go and check! I am a firm advocate of sleep training. Three or four difficult nights and mine learned how to settle themselves and developed good sleep behaviours. Apart from our first who we weren’t brave enough to do it with - she’s still a problem sleeper.

I haven't... I'm too scared I'd wake him 😂

6 mins of silence so I'm guessing he just shut his eyes and went to sleep. Am I DREAMING?!!!

It's the during the night one I hope works as well as the bedtime one!

Again I know most people will disagree with this, but I've always put my son down and allowed 10 minuted for him to drop off. During this time he did sometimes moan or even have a little cry. But we always had the video monitor on, so we could see and hear him. Usually he would drop off within this tome. If he didn't, we knew something else was wrong (when he was teething for example).
But it means he's always self settled, and it never affected his sleeping because he slept through from 3 months. It also meant he never had any sleep aids like a light or music which I was keen to avoid, he never had a comforter like a blanket which I didn't want him to have. And I detest and despise dummies so no way would I any child of mine ever have one, not that ds ever wanted or looked for one for comfort, it just wasn't needed.

Update!!

Last night was AMAZING and it was only night number 2.

He went down at 7pm and cried for about 90 seconds after I left the room then he went to sleep.

He then slept until 2:30 which in itself is astounding. Before I even had the chance to get out of bed, he settled himself and went back to sleep.

He then woke with a cry at 4:30, I went in a lay him down and said goodnight. He went straight back to sleep and is still asleep now! (He'd normally wake before 6).

I'm speechless!

How old is your DS, OP? I’m a big advocate of CC of over 6 months.

Changed our lives in 2 nights, and meant she could actually nap in her cot and not on me.

And to anyone who says it’s cruel- I can categorically say that two nights of more crying so that she could learn to sleep has saved A LOT of crying since from multiple wake ups/ failed naps/ over tiredness.

Unfortunately we have just hit the 8–10 month regression and it’s all gone a bit pear shaped again 😭

I have never looked at it from that angle before but I totally agree, he's had a year of poor sleep and upset during the night so this is hopefully the turning point. He's done SO well and I'm amazed how quickly is appears to be 'working'.

He's a week away from turning one.

Don't mention sleep regression to me, he never recovered from the 4 month one 😂

Took a few nights for no crying at all, but the second night was definitely easier than the first and then they try it again after a few more days. We stuck it out though and DS is now an excellent sleeper! Good luck, I know it's not nice!

My HV told me to leave to cry for 30 seconds, comfort TIL nearly asleep then leave and come back after a minute of crying, repeat comforting, then 1:30 mins if crying again etc.... so they know you're there. I don't thing I ever Got more than 2 minutes so worked for us

Excellent news op! I'm so glad it's working for you!

Update! Tonight was even less time than last night!!!!

Literally a two second cry when I left the room then silence... sleep! (This was an hour ago)

Sorry for the constant updates but I'm treating this as a diary!

Hooray! The rest of your life starts here!

What time can be classed as "daytime"?

So, sleep training has been going AMAZING. He's rolling off to sleep in seconds of me laying him down and is waking once a night and just needs a "go back to sleep" and it works.

Until this morning. He woke at 4:45 and seems to be ready for the day! Hes quiet, then after 5 mins he's crying for a minute or two, then quiet again, and repeat...

I said 630 at that age, treat anything before then as night time still. I know plenty of people who have had to start the day earlier than that though, depends on the baby. Fingers crossed for you!

How's it going? I am considering trying (again) DS is 1 year 4 months

I started this with my DS last night, however he is 20 months. He always did a decent chunk in his bed but started waking at around 1-2am and for an easy life I would take him into my bed. The problem is this stopped working so I just ended up with a toddler rolling around my bed for hours. I’m also due DS2 in around 6 weeks so decided to bite the bullet last night.

He cried for around 45 mins when he first went to bed but was asleep around 7.40pm. He then woke at 11.45 and was not happy when I didn’t take him into my bed but was asleep again at around 12.15. He then woke again at 4.30 and I thought there was no way he would go back to sleep but he dropped off around 5.15 and slept until 7.50!

When he woke at 4.30 I had decided that I would not get him out of his bed until 6. Does mean that I could have ended up starting the day at 4.30 but I don’t want to get in the habit of him waking at that time every day expecting play time!

No idea how tonight will go but I’ve just done it for his nap and he took 45 mins to go off.

Really, really well. Far better than expected.

Night two was a massive change and he only took 2 mins to go to sleep and slept through til 4:30 then back to sleep straight away until 6:45 (I think!)

We were on night three last night. He went to sleep no problem again, but had a hiccup and woke at 4;45 and didn't want to go back to sleep. I'm just going make sure I'm consistent though!

No cries tonight! Just rolled over and went to sleep!

OP exactly which method are you using? 5 minute intervals every time or increasing intervals?

NIGHT FOUR AND HE SLEPT THE WHOLE NIGHT! 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

@ClareB83 I was increasing intervals but only by one minute at a time.

To be honest, this only really happened on the first night though and on the first nap as by night number two, he took about 2 mins to fall asleep himself and has improved on that. I'm honestly AMAZED at how well and how quickly this has worked....

Well done! It's bloody hard to do. I know I went there with my second and don't regret it 1 bit. He was so much happier during the day once he started getting a full night's sleep.

That’s fantastic! It also gives me hope

I’m not quite at the leaving stage yet, I’m sitting on a chair in the corner of his room but only because he’s used to cosleeping so want to build up to leaving him.

Last night DS slept from 7.30-12 but was then unsettled until 1.30 which I think was the heat but then he slept until 6.30!

The bonus for us is that he has spent 2 nights in his own bed but hoping to build up to only coming in at intervals like you are now

I honestly feel like we've been lucky to have a cooperative baby (massive shock to me) as he's understood VERY quickly that he needs to self soothe etc and I'm so proud I him - and happy it's worked so quickly!

I just wish we'd done so sooner.

@Iknowacrackingowlsanctuary well done for night giving in at 12 to bring him into your room though, that's a big step and hopefully the start of a good routine which will gradually improve.. good luck!

Thank you! I’m trying to see the positives. He might still need me in his room to see him off and we’ve still got a wake up but he’s not in our bed