13 week old not improving night time sleep

[Lei251]

Hi everyone...
Just hoping to get some reassurance that what I am experiencing with my little one is normal... my little one is a contented happy little bottle fed boy. He goes down well for naps during the day In his cot and naps range from 45mins to sometimes 2 hours! He goes down to bed at around 18:00pm after a bath, massage and bottle feed in a dark room with hardly any fuss and will sleep anywhere between 4-5 hours before waking up and we have a good wind, nappy change and further feed.. again he will then go down with little fuss.... brilliant! However from anywhere from 01:00/02.00 onwards he will wake up hourly crying... not self settling... not much wind coming up, not really hungry,when I offer a feed he will only take an ounce or two of that before falling back asleep, but then will still wake up an hour later...I cuddle him, play white noise.... but he is still waking up consistently and then the next day he’s not really hungry and just playing with bottles... there is literally no routine or consistency with his feeds because of the night being so random... the internet has scared me into thinking he now has ‘ bad sleeping habits’ which ‘ will get worse rather then better’ unless I quickly involve a sleeping expert etc to undo all my bad habits :(
I suppose he’s my first.... is this what a 13 week old should be expected to be doing and will he eventually just settle? Or am I missing something?

Thank you in advance for any helpful feedback

It's completely normal. Sleep trainers won't even work with babies under 6 months as they still need food through the night, lots of cuddles, reassurance etc.

It's fucking hard though. Try and nap when/where you can and don't be afraid to ask around you for practical help.

Right, leave the internet alone. He's just coming to the end of the 4th trimester, he's only just getting the hang of when is night and day and not being a part of you any more.

Also, important to realise baby sleep doesn't just get better and better. It often gets worse, then better for a bit then worse again.

Also SELF SETTLING is not exactly a myth but certainly not something you could expect so early on- it's developmental

I'm sure someone will be along shortly to tell you how to sleep train, but I'm more of the adjust expectations, cuddle baby and know it'll be alright, eventually camp.

My experience (of a breastfed baby) is that they do what they do when little. You aren’t setting bad sleep habits. My son is 5.5 months and it’s only recently I’ve noticed a difference in both how he falls to sleep and duration. Put him down ‘sleepy but awake’ is a distant idea that might be nice one day.

I have only just recently had longer than 2 hours at night. Bit different with breastfeeding but I truly believe at the age yours is it doesn’t make much difference. Ref my nephew whose sleep routine is that mum puts him in crib, and he goes to sleep for 12 hours . Try not to let the internet rattle you.

Oh this is reassuring 👌🏻 I will stop googling and start trusting in him that he is doing what is normal and right by himself. It is hard and ignorantly during my pregnancy I didn’t really think about the exhaustion... I had in my head he would settle into a nice little routine 😂 but as long as it all sounds normal and that I needent be scared that I am creating problems by not addressing this now I feel better x

Sleep when you need to- you are, to some degree recovering still

I still have to nap sometimes. DS is one next week. Still BF. Still not a great sleeper although i bedshare and hence not totally even sure how many wakes/ feeds there were last night!

He's 13 weeks old, he's absolutely tiny, you're expecting too much. 6pm is very early to be down for the whole night too.

If he's bottle fed it may be worth trying him on a faster teat. It sounds as though he might be hungry but working so hard to feed he's tiring himself out and falling asleep before he's full?

Totally normal to have just one longish stretch of sleep at that age. Give it some time and it will eventually start stretching out till the morning. You're not doing anything wrong, it just takes time xx

Thanks again everyone. I feel massively reassured that he is on a path the sounds normal. No unrealistic expectations here... just looking for reassurance and guidance so thanks again, and no more dr google for us!

If he's sleeping quite well from 6pm to 1 or 2am that's an 8 hour 'night' for him. Could you try to keep him in daytime mode (whatever nap : awake ratio you normally do) until later so his sleeping time correlates better with yours.

If you can get him to move the long stretches you would only be up once between say 10-6 which is far more manageable.

My daughter was 2.5 years old before she would sleep all night every night it was exhausting, she has made up for it as a teen now. Hopefully yours will be better, prob why I only had one child

My children are 5 and 2. 5 year old has gone through the night a handful of times, 2 year old still wakes multiple times. Babies aren't designed to sleep through the night. Enjoy your LO, they're only tiny once