13mo won't go to sleep until late and wakes early

[mommathatwearspink]

DS is 13mo and we have struggled and failed to get him into a routine since he was born.
He suffered with reflux until he was around 11mo and I really don't think this has helped at all. We've struggled with naps since the beginning and he will only nap if rocked, in the pram or in the car and he fights every sleep. He does now get 1 to 2 decent naps per day but there is absolutely no routine to them and will only go down with a fight.
He's completely unable to self settle. We've tried a few different sleep techniques but he just screams and screams hysterically for hours... one night we think he breath held until he passed out because he was so angry (following in his sisters footsteps).
He will sleep fine during the night, very rarely waking but trying to get him to sleep is extremely hard work, even if he's absolutely shattered. We have a bath, bed routine and try and get him down for 7/7:30pm. Eventually he'll go but after 15 minutes he'll disturb and can be up until 11pm... even then it's a massive fight to get him to sleep. He'll then wake anytime from 5am. We are absolute shattered and at the end of our tether... we can't get anything done, enjoy our evening meal or relax and it's starting to really drain us . Has anyone been in a similar situation? I sometimes wonder whether there's something wrong with him.

My ds1 was like this. Waking frequently for comfort feeds back to sleep. He only started sleeping better when I finished all bfeeding at 14mo, he started having one 3hr nap in the day. Absolute bliss. We replaced feeds to sleep with cuddles and massages. The first night not feeding was a crying fest while I held cuddled him to sleep instead. Was fine after that. But wasn't ready for full weaning until 14mo. Once he (slowly) got into a routine 7pm bedtime story, bath, etc, sleep by 7.30/8. We slowly reduced cuddling to a back rub, shush pat then less, etc. Very gradual retreat. He still woke really early in the morning until I reduced his daytime nap.
Things I learnt with Ds2 was gave him a dummy for his comfort sucking, so he wasn't using me. Identified foods which gave him tummy ache and reduced them from his diet. He needed winding properly with tummy massages and vigorous patting for quite a while after eating and before bed, and until he was about 18mo, a lot longer than most people told me. No naps after 2pm because it takes him ages to settle to sleep and then he's awake super early.
Hope my limited experience helps.