everyone...totally new to this, both on mumsnet and any message board...Sorry in advance for the long message.
I’m a new mum to DS (3.5 months old) and I need some advice re daytime naps.
A little info about us - I’m in my mid 30’s, DS was conceived using IVF and is EBF. I have no experience of babies at all prior to the little one arriving, and feel I’m quite naive with it!!
The issue - DS sleeps wonderfully in his next to me crib at night - going to sleep between 7/8pm and usually waking once in the night before waking for the day between 4-6am. Which is amazing and I thank my lucky stars every night! The issue is daytime naps:
- DS doesn’t exhibit the usual sleepy cues for naps, and will often be happily playing one minute then screaming the next, which means I missed the sleep window, and so spend the next hour trying to console him and get him to sleep.
- He will only sleep on me during the day, and as soon as I try to get him into his bed, he screams so much he makes himself choke. I’m not very good at coping with hearing him cry.
- We currently feed to sleep - both during the day and at night
He’s struggled with being in his bed during the day since he was about 8 weeks old, and the HV said that “he wants your comfort - he’s been inside you for 9 months and he just wants to be near you”. If this is the case then fine. They also said that suckling is fine and they don’t usually worry about it till 5 months. Mentioned it again to a HV today who said that he needs to go into his bed and it’s going to cause longer term issues if he doesn’t. I feel like I agree with the HV today, but feel like I have wasted 6 weeks opportunity to get him to settle as he’s been sleeping on me during the day.
Things I have tried:
Putting him in the same bed he sleeps in at night - wide awake, drowsy but not asleep, and asleep. As soon as he lies down, awake or asleep, he screams.
Putting him in other places to sleep (ie his cot in his own room (I would stay in the room with him whilst he slept, if he did drop off, which he hasn’t) in our bed, on the floor, in a swing chair) - no bueno
Shush pat
Swaddling
Putting something I have worn into the crib so he can smell me
Using a comforter like a teddy or a blanket - he doesn’t even notice they’re there
Putting him down then picking him up when he cries, but it takes a long time and A LOT of crying before he goes to sleep, and it doesn’t sit well with me.
Putting him down an hour/hour and a half/2 hours after he woke from his last nap, but he just won’t go to sleep on his own. If he doesn’t start crying instantly then he lies there with eyes wide open for a while, and then screams.
I know I have set him up to need me to go to sleep. Has anyone got any ideas I can try to get him to get himself to sleep? And to get him to sleep in his crib during the day? Has anyone else’s babies done this and miraculously grown out of it?