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Please help me with my 2.5 year old who's suddenly refusing night sleep

5 replies

WhyTheHeckMe · 11/06/2018 10:02

Ds1 is 2y 5m. Has been sleeping through the night consistently since 10 months even when ill. Even during chickenpox! Was having 1-2 hour nap at lunch then sleeping 7-7 always falling asleep independently.
Ds2 arrived 2 months ago and ds1 adores him. Never any jealousy, resentment or bad behaviour.
Ds1 dropped his nap a few months ago. He has one maybe 1 or 2 times a week but he wasn't tired and was only getting tired at 4 ish so we weaned him off and he's been fine. Sometimes has a short nap at nursery or in the car.
But the last 6 nights have been a nightmare. We have been taking him to bed as normal and then spending 2 hours retrieving him from the landing and putting him back in bed. We don't give him attention or talk to him but the second we leave the room he's out again.
He's been in his toddler bed for 11 months so it's not a new set up for him!
Then we have the same between 3am and 5am! He's constantly doing the same only at this time he's wide awake and screaming he wants to play downstairs! We are consistent with our response but it's taking ages.
My 8 week old is having night feeds at 2am and 5 am so with the 2 year old being awake 3-5 I'm literally having about 3 hours sleep and it's killing me.
I am so cross with him and telling him off in the day over minor things because I'm so tired which I know isn't helping

I just don't know what to do ! Dh helps but I can't sleep when either of the boys are awake so I may as well just deal with it all myself regardless.
He now getting less sleep as he's falling asleep at 9pm, up at 7am with 2 hours awake. Sof he's having 8 hours!
Please someone help. Please tell me this is a phase that will pass?!

OP posts:
WhyTheHeckMe · 11/06/2018 10:03

I should add we tried him with a 1.5 hour nap yday and it made things 10x worse. Almost 3 hours to get to sleep last night and was up at 6am today. Still had 2 hours awake time overnight Sad

OP posts:
Raspberry88 · 11/06/2018 13:03

It will be a phase of course...everything is. I believe it's quite normal for sleep to be all over the place when a new sibling is introduced. What I will say though is that I can't understand for a second why you're not talking to him or engaging with him when he's up in the night. If he's waking up because he feels insecure because of new sibling or because of some separation anxiety then that is surely making it worse. Maybe try giving him a cuddle and reassuring him that all is well, reading a story etc?

WhyTheHeckMe · 11/06/2018 16:22

Raspberry we tried that the first few nights and it made him even more hysterical when we left the room.
I googled it and everything I read said take the supernanny approach and don't engage or you're giving them the attention they want. Things got marginally better when we stopped. I always loss his forehead before I leave the room I just don't talk to him.
I'm very much a gentle parent, but it's very hard knowing what to do for the best :(

OP posts:
WhyTheHeckMe · 11/06/2018 16:22

Loss = kiss

OP posts:
Pebbles17 · 11/06/2018 19:44

The super nanny approach does not work at all for our 2.4 year old. She gets way worse and way more naughty

She had recently been getting out of her bed and coming out of her room at bedtime ( She gets to sleep on her own but we pop in to see her and give her a kiss and cuddle after stories at increasing intervals, so 2 mins first then 4 etc etc until she is asleep )

We started to hold the door shut so she could not get out of her room ( that sounds way worse than it is ! ha ! ) and then only going in when she was back in bed. So say if I was due to go back in and see her I would say I was only coming in if she was back in bed. Only took a couple of days for her to get the hang of it and now if we are due to go back in and can see she is out of bed, we announce in a loud comedy fashion that we are coming in to see her and laugh whilst she scrambles to get back into bed! ... it means she is getting praise and not getting told off for being out of bed,

The last few nights she hasn't even bothered getting out.

Some kids just need that extra reassurance

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