6 week old - refusing to sleep

[amysaurus87]

Pretty much that really!

My little boy is 6 weeks old and is refusing to sleep. He won't nap during the day, despite being obviously tired, yawning, eye rubbing etc so we have a snuggle and I move him to his cot, as soon as he's in he stirs and starts screaming.

It's the same of a night, he has a feed at about 1030, we snuggle for a bit after and then I move him to the cot, he'll be ok for about 5 mins and then starts screaming.

I think in the last 2 days we have both had about 8 hours sleep. Last night I got 4 hours sleep, in 2 separate blocks and the last block was only because my husband took him and let him sleep on him.

I'm at my wits end as I've tried everything to get him to nap and sleep. The lack of sleep is killing me and makes my PND so much worse and I get so angry with him for not napping/sleeping especially when he is so obviously tired, I end up shouting at him which makes me feel even worse.

He hates being swaddled, won't take a dummy, we go for walks during the day and he still won't settle. I've tried moving into a quiet room when he shows sleepy signs and that still doesn't work.

He will sleep on us, but this is not ideal as both my husband and I move a lot in our sleep and im terrified I'll squash my little one, which is why co-sleeping is not an option for us.

Has anyone got any advice? I really need to get some sleep soon and so does he!

Hi OP. I remember this feeling all too well.. I used to sit up in bed in tears at stupid o’clock in the morning, firstly because I was just so exhausted and frustrated, then because I felt guilty for feeling frustrated!!
He could be suffering with a bit of reflux, hence screaming as soon as you lay him flat.
You could try propping up the head end of his cot slightly so he isn’t completely flat. Try feeding him as upright as possible and keep him upright for as long as possible after a feed (I used to wait 15mins if I could manage to keep my eyes open for that long!) before putting him down.
Fingers crossed you get some sleep soon, you’re doing well even if it doesn’t feel like it

Hi OP. This was my ds down to a tee. I posted on here daily begging for advice but nothing worked apart from co-sleeping. It wasn't ideal and I hated feeling like I was a bad person but he just wanted to be by us and I was so tired in the end I realised it was in both of our interests. One particularly bad night I had about 3 hours sleep (before cosleep) and I rang my mum the following morning crying saying I was holding ds and wanted to drop him out of the bedroom window as I was so angry with him.
My mum made me go and knock on the neighbours door and ask her to watch him for 10 mins while I got myself together.
It is shit. Literally shit and I won't lie but ds was like it till about 5 months.
But do you know they were the fastest 5 months of my life looking back.
At 5 months he went in his cot and he actually got on fine, it was like those extra money this if cuddles gave him the confidence to just go and sleep on his own and know we were there if needed.
He's now 2.5 and a dream. Never have sleep issues.
I know you say co-sleeping isn't an option but if you can try and make it work it'd probably be the solution. Could you get a snuzpod that attaches to the bed and then you drop the side down?
I also have a 6 week old who is the total opposite which I never thought I would get so don't let it put you off having more.
Good luck and congrats

Persevere with the dummy. The latex teats are softer and sometimes work better. Hold it in his mouth gently for a little while, maybe while he is in the sling if you have one or somewhere else he feels at ease. The UK is peculiarly contra dummies but in Germany where I live, they’re seen as healthy - there’s evidence they protect against cot death, and they help babies self-settle. Also try what MummaB says.

Other than that six weeks is still very tiny. You could take advice from your health visitor about co-sleeping (mine told me to do it, with the caveat that it should be me rather than the dad and that I should prop myself up with no blankets etc. above the waist, baby on chest. But if you are exhausted this might not be a good idea, you might sleep too deeply).

What will definitely help is if you are bfeeding, express one or two bottles (or mix feed) and have your partner do a shift. Maybe you go to bed at 8 and he does till midnight, or he takes over at 4 or 5AM...depends on what suits you, but if you can get a block of three or four hours sleep you will feel like a different person.

Alternatively, if it’s hard to find a way like that to cope and you’ve got the means, you could get a night nurse to come in and sort it. A friend of mine was in a similar situation and at the end of her tether, her mum booked one for two weeks. She came in and basically Gina Ford-ed the baby, which didn’t do the baby any harm at all (he is now a delightful six-year-old) and saved everyone’s sanity. It does mean you’re then a slave to the iron routine for a while but it’s a question of choosing what works best for you and accepting every solution comes with cons as well as pros.

Good luck, this too shall pass x

Hi there,

I would say he's still extremely little to expect sleeping alone. It's hard for them as they have an instinctual desire to be close to you, it;s protective. You're trying to make him do something that totally goes against their nature and it's making you both miserable.
If this was me, and you're breastfeeding in particular, I would make your bed arrangements as safe as possible and just learn co-sleep.
If you're nursing (and have had no alcohol, drugs or are smoking) you're basically extraordinarily unlikely to squash him. Deaths from co-sleeping are always linked to doing it unsafely.
Either move husband out to another mattress or room, or get a decent bed-side sleeper so the baby can at least sleep close and feel your warmth and touch you.

For daytime naps, I would suggest trying to use a sling, as it can help them feel safe and snuggled on your chest, but you can remain mobile and get stuff done, go out etc. Check out Wrap You in Love tutorials for newborns on youtube, and look on facebook to find a local sling library to try some out, or a babywearing peer supporter (perhaps via local mum support groups) to help you learn. With a baby this small you can have a stretchy type, or a woven wrap, both would be suitable.

Thanks everyone, we do have a Snuzpod and have the side down most of the night, I put it up once he's properly asleep as the duvet ends up in there as well, and I don't want him getting too hot!

I'm looking in to getting a sling, there is a sling library near(ish) to me where I can hire one for 2 weeks, so hopefully I'll find one I like and that works for us.

Totally get that he is still very little, but it's only recently that he's stopped sleeping, he used to have good 2 hour naps in the day and generally would sleep 12-4 at night and then have a feed, nappy change and back down until about 730/8am. So there is every chance this is a growth spurt or the stupidly warm weather upsetting him...either that or he really hates the Gro Bag we've started to put him in!

He is EBF, and I plan to start pumping this week to build up a supply in case I get ill! So the idea of hubby taking on the night feed is a good plan!

Sounds like you just need to try and ride it out, hopefully he'll go back to being more restful, but it's worth adjusting your expectations in case he doesn't.
I used to have the trick of putting duvet only on my legs, and a cellular blanket over top half of my body, so if it went over the baby accidentally there was no danger of overheating. Neither of ours would tolerate gro-bag things, I bought several beautiful embroidered ones and they were sadly ignored! They preferred to kick their legs.

Google the fourth trimester. He wants to be close to you.
DD slept on me or DH until she was 8/9 weeks.
She would sleep in a sling (we both got a baby k’tan) and egentually would settle in a sleepyhead
Can anyone come to take him out in the day so you can sleep? My mum used to come to take DD out and I’d sleep. I was so sleep deprived even 30 minutes made a huge difference!

Reflux
Stupid hot humid weather
Needing to be in contact with skin.

So many different reasons, just go with the flow, even puppies stay with mama for at least eight weeks. It will pass honestly (hugs)

Totally normal

It gets better. THen probably worse. Maybe better again.

But seriously, we pretty much did shifts when DS was a newborn- I did the middle of the night as DH had work. But from about 8-11, I slept, just being woken to BF, then handed over about 7 for an hour or so of sleep before DH went to work.

And slept in the day whenever I could (usually my mum around as I couldn't settle with him sleeping without someone to keep an eye)

Turns out he doesn't like the Gro Bag we had him in! Tried going back to a blanket and he slept from 1am - 4am!

Thanks to everyone for advice and tips!

3 hours is wonderful.

Excellent! A good three hours is a blessed relief sometimes!