If I drop night feeds but cuddle instead, do you think he will still wake for the cuddle instead of food?

[crayon]

I am really struggling now and dreading tonight. The week-ends are meant to be my sleep catch up time as I don't fit in much sleep during the week.

Have been doing some sleep training and the last two nights have tried to drop night feeds. The first night DS3 had two one minute feeds in the night and was held while he went to sleep (took 30 mins then 90 mins).

Last night he woke twice, had no breast feed, and I held him to sleep again (about an hour then an hour and a half I think - can't really remember).

Both times he has cried, sometimes quite a lot, but has been fine in the morning and not particularly hungry, so I think it is more from habit that he wakes, esp when he hits the light bit of his sleep phase.

So, if I carry on cuddling him, do you think he will carry on waking? I know I should really keep him in his cot and let him cry (I would stay by the side), but I am not really sure I have the resolve to do this, esp if I am not sure it will work.

Any help really really gratefully received

Don't fret just yet you've only been doing this for 2 nights... I'm sure things'll come right in a few more days. In my experience (and obviously all parents and all babies are different blah blah)controlled crying doesn't work and just gets everyone even more upset. So i'd say stick with what you're doing. I don't think he will wake up for a cuddle. My DS is 4 months and we recently dropped his last night feed. We had a couple of rocky nights, but he now sleeps 7:30-6:30 and I always picked him up and cuddled him until he was very close to sleep when he woke in the night.

Are you absolutely sure your DS isn't hungry when he wakes up? If you think he's happy with just the 1 minute feed then he's obviously not hungry, but maybe he's crying and having trouble getting back to sleep because he's still hungry? Have you tried feeding him more in the day, so he's still getting the same amount of milk as when he had his 2 night feeds? Could you try cluster feeding close to bedtime? I know some people who've had success giving their LO's water instead of milk when they wake in the night... not sure that would have worked for mine, but worth considering? Does your DS have a dummy? Worked wonders getting my LO back to sleep at night instead of having to comfort suck on the breast.

Thanks Shimmer, some good ideas there.

I don't think he is hungry in the night really. If he is, it's from habit rather than really needing it. He went through a stage of refusing much breast-milk and food all day while he watched his brothers play, and then wanting to catch up all night - which prompted this sleep training.

He won't take a bottle, doesn't like a dummy and can't really seem to get on with a beaker either - so it is me or nothing .

Thanks again - it is good to hear a success story!

Shimmer has some good advice - the only thing I would say though is that if you give the cuddling a go and he still does wake for it after say a full week, try controlled crying - it DID work for me, very successfully with each of my 3.

I'm afraid I have tried this approach with my dd (6 months) and though I have the night feeds down to one (from every 2 hours a month ago) she still wakes every 2 hours and I have to cuddle her back to sleep . But of course all babies are different and it might work for you, so why not give it a go before you go for the crying? Sadly i think the crying has to start for us . let us know how you get on...

We went down your route at 9 months, Crayon. After a couple of weeks, he stopped waking up for the cuddle, and started to sleep from 8 till 5am. Which was bliss. OTOH, that only lasted for a couple of months and we had another few bad months until he started reliably sleeping through until 6.30ish. It does work, but not instantly and not necessarily permanently!

Thanks all - mixed results then! It's so miserable sitting in the middle of the night with an unhappy baby, if it is not going to be permanent and relatively quick, I'm afraid I may be too sleep deprived to see it through. I gave up feeding DS1 in the night at about 6-8 months and he still didn't sleep through until 18 months.

DS3 used to feed for an hour, but recently I have got it down to 20 mins and it's so tempting to go back to that!

3sEnough - how old were your 3 when you did it?

...I had hoped you wouldn't ask that!! Mine were really young (and against current advice) I started it under HV advise with ds who was 12 weeks...after he was waking every hour for a feed....I was a zombie, sobbing mother who had started to hallucinate because I was so tired. My ds went from waking after 1 hour to waking after 7-9 hours from the first night...little sod!!lol. I then did the same with 2 and 3 (at 10 weeks)as it had worked so quickly with ds and because dh and I and each child was really happy afterwards to go to bed - each child has waved and blown me a kiss from about 11 months....before that, they just gurgled happily on their own before falling asleep.

Wow 3sEnough - waking every hour is no fun

You can say that again!!