2 year old bedtime

[Icklepickle101]

I need help or atleast someone to tell me I’m not alone

DS (2.5) has always been a bad sleeper but March time he started sleeping through which was amazing. He’s recently started waking again and is a nightmare to get back to sleep but not as bad as he is to get to sleep in the first place!

Current routine is teeth, PJs, 2 stories then light off and stickman audiobook on. But recently he’s been fussing about having a different audiobook and more stories. Then I sit next to his bed u too he’s asleep but this is taking nearly 2 hours now. The last few nights hes been getting out of bed and sitting next to me with a book, despite my efforts t ignore him.

I’m having a c section in a few weeks for DC2 and I’m worried how I’m going to cope constantly lifting him back in to bed and spending all evening in his room.

Any words of wisdom?

Can your OH start doing bedtime for you so it's in place by the time you have the new baby?

Our DC2 is 21m and he has a completely different bedtime routine for me and for DH. I still BF him to sleep and then transfer him to his cot when he's asleep. DH puts him down awake with a few sips of cold milk from a beaker, a few strokes on his face and he's asleep

Your OH might have just as much luck getting him to settle without you, leaving you free to deal with the baby when the time comes.

DP works nearly 2 hours away and doesn’t have a set finish time so he’s normally coming home around 7:45/8 which would be too late to start bed time I think. It would be quite nice for DS to be asleep or at least happy in his room by himself and I can have started dinner by the time he gets home

What happens if you leave the room?

I’ve tried sitting on the landing and he will stay in there for a 1, maybe 2 minutes before coming out and looking for me

How long is he napping for in the day? Sounds similar to my almost 2.5 year old.. except he's not sleeping through 🙄 he's not falling asleep until around 8:30pm, with many visits back and forth!

Can you try the gradual retreat, so say ok mummy will sit here but only if you stay in bed, then move a bit each time and if it works start further away each night? X

Say no to all the extras.

When he gets out of bed, put him back in.

Firm voice, it's sleep time now. Do not smile or laugh or any of the other stuff that makes him think it's fun.

Be completely consistent and he will learn what bed time means.

I think I would try to be much tougher for say 2 weeks- can partner get home early on Friday so you have 3 nights together to do it?
Maybe set up a reward- go and buy cheap toy. If he goes to bed with just 2 stories, he earns toy. Every night to start with, then every other.
Talk during day bout what is going to happen. Choose reward and put it somewhere he has seen. Stories, into bed. Maybe choose an audio story- are there maybe 3 to choose from to give him feeling of control,
Kiss goodnight.
Make that last ‘fun’ interaction. Everything else now is quiet, low arousal. It’s bed time. Into bed.
No bargaining. No discussion. ‘Bed’.
Be relentless.
I think the effort and pain now will be so worth it!!

Next week DP should be home early as he’s on a course so maybe I’ll start a new stricter routine tomorrow and then DP can help next week.

If he gets out of bed should I ignore him or put him back? What about when he asks for cuddles?

I personally think first time he gets up- remind him its bed time, put him back. Second time- just ‘bedtime’, afterthat say as little as possible. I would try and avoid and ‘conversation’ or discussion. If he’s asking for cuddles/ drink/ story/ the moon on a stick- just ignore it- you’ve already given him all those things.
Just be boring, repeat ‘bed’ if necessary but try not to engage. He will soon get bored! (Hopefully).
It will be worth it!!

I think you need to toughen up, do your bed time routine, tell your DS you are now going downstairs and shut the door. As others have said, if he asks for 'cuddles', put him straight back into bed, say goodnight. repeat, repeat, repeat - but mean it, don't hover around waiting to be asked for 'cuddles'.

I do definitely need to be tougher. I’m a sucker for the cuddles request so would help if I wasn’t in there. Do you think I need to gradually leave but by bit each day or is he old enough for me to say ‘new rules mummy goes downstairs after stories’

I'm probably not the best person to answer as when I became a parent I just assumed you put your baby to bed and left the room - that's what I did from Day 1 and my DS self settled.

You know your own child best, (and judging from your user name ) you will probably be more comfortable with the gradual leaving.

I would try leaving the room, pulling door too, but staying close enough to hear what’s going on.
In your head picture yourself sat down, but of tv with feet up. Or some other benefit- use this image to remind yourself why you need to be a little tougher- I’m not suggesting ignoring utter meltdown and never returning, but you can be firm as well as kind.
I reckon 3 nights consistency you could crack it!

He’s stood at his door whinging for me but not crying. I’ve put him back in bed 4 times and am now sat on the landing. Do I ignore him? Or keep putting him back to bed?

Personally- I’d probably ignore. Maybe move where he can’t see you. Be persistent - don’t let him engage you.
If he’s not really upset/ working himself up, I’d try to leave him to it. Whinging is fine- he was never going to give In First attempt.
Is he safe?
Maybe a consultation with a sleep consultant (online) might help you come up with a strategy that helps you.