Sleep is for the Weak! we got too big?!!??!?!!??

[cruisemum1]

can you believe that?! we got too big?
we should surely get an award from Mumsnet?

Meg poor you and ds will be thinking of you tonight. hope you get some answers. ever thought of taking him to a homeopath/naturopath who practises kinesiology (sp??). My ds was allergic to cows milk which she spotted instantly. just a thought. big hug x

Bags, we did the Cranio thingy and made do difference.

ILB, I second dummies altough like Tapster says if you haven't had one up to now I'd probably try and resist although we find it a godsend too. If you're already using them we use the Mamms because I found the handle on the avent ones would make a noise as it fell out and woke up DD!! Also sorry you're here but if it's any concilation a lot of babies stop sleeping at about this age. We're all still trying to figure out why but while we do then most definately lean on us.

Slim at your lo's zoo time antics

Meg, I remember the third month (your lo is 3 months?) being the hardest by far for me. I desperately wanted some sense of routine back in my life and had read all of the books so thought I had it sussed. Putting it into practice wasn't so easy and after spending a week in a dark room getting DD to try and nap and spending longer getting her to sleep than the length of time she spent asleep I cracked and nearly cracked up. I decided that I would never look at those books again because they very nearly tipped me over the edge. My advice (FWIW) to anyone would be to do what you want, how you want and in whatever manner suits you. A friend of mine follwed the advice to put the lo to sleep in the cot at nap times and lo and behold her problem is that he won't sleep anywhere else so she has to stay home to get him to sleep. Don't feel pressured to do it in a particular way because you feel that you should or that other people do it in such and such a way. If it doesn't work in the cot, put him in the buggy, sling, curl up on the bed with him, lay him on your knee on the sofa (mine always sleeps for longer when on my lap). Your sanity is as important as his sleep and if watching the telly while he sleeps on your lap relaxes you both then do it. Also, so sorry for your lo's eczema. My DD has it too and it's a bit of a trial and error to find a cream that suits. The thing is when you have a flare up then the only thing that will take it down is a topical steroid cream. Once the flare up has gone you manage it with emollients. Also when you've got a flare up pretty much anything will sting. Including water. Ask your GP to refer you to a dermotologist or specialist gp who can give you better advice on how to manage it. I hope you're both a bit more settled now. Keep him cool (if you can). BTW, I notice you're a production ed. Who do you work for? I used to work for Pearson Ed (marketing tho)

Thought I'd break off the previous post as it was turning into an epic.

Last three nights have been horrible. After a week of her settling herself and sleeping really well we're back to unsettled evenings and bouncing off the wall nights. Tonight she screamed and screamed and wanted me to hold her to sleep which I didn't and just sat by the cot. it was a very hard half an hour but she is older now and really does need to settle herself. I really get cheesed off if she's up and down all evening. The first 3 or 4 months you expect it but at 9 months? It's mega frustrating that she can demonstrate that she can do it too and then cruely steal it from under our feet. DH is convinced the only way we're going to break the cycle is to let her cry. I can't do that. It's different if she's having a tired whinge but this was full on blood curdling screams. Also, if she can do it and isn't now it suggests that there is something wrong. Anwyay, who knows I just really hope I've left this thread by the time shes 1 and I mean that in the nicest possible way

ginger for the small step backwards. I sympathise/empathise. ds took a big step backwards last week and was back sleeping in our bed (mostly draped over me). I of course obsessed over what could have changed etc(even though i tell myself not to!...and in hindsight it was obvious. we'd been on holiday and he just needed a little security again) Dh who is super relaxed just said let's go with it. he'll come back around. he slept with us all last week and this week he's back in his cot with no tears and has 'slept through' for the last 3 nights. It just goes to show it'll come back around. and remember ds will be 17months soon so you're still way ahead of me!!
i know it's hard and i'm the same but try and have a glass of wine and be reassured that it'll all be fine and you're an amazing mother

Thanks everyone for the kind wishes and Ginger thanks for your wise words. We saw a GP at the hospital this pm and they are going to refer us to a paediatrician, can take 4-6 weeks though. In the meantime she said to slather him in steroids and gave us a couple of different emollients to try.

He went to sleep OK when we got back from the hospital (had been awake 4 hours so was shattered) but has already been awake once, with massive high-pitched screaming. We gave him some Calpol to ease the soreness and have got a fan on to try to keep the room cool. I think the Allergenics stuff set him off so hopefully he will be better when it's out of his system. It's so heartbreaking though.

We have already decided to bring him in bed if he won't settle later, DH will just have to squash up!

Oh and I work for Emap...

Hi all - any good nights out there?

Meg - I do hope things improve soon.

Ginger - . It must be so frustrating when you think you've got things cracked, and then it starts to go wrong again.

I do know what you mean about the books though - more trouble than they're worth sometimes, making you feel you're getting it wrong. LO didn't really benefit from the week I spent "doing things properly" so we're back to our regular chaos at least for the next month.

Average night here. Lo settled 7.30 - up at 11, 3, 4.15.

meg, your poor LO, ihope you find something that helps. i've started using aveeno, after diprobase, after epaderm, so i know the drill, but your LO's sounds a lot worse.

poor ginger, sounds so tough.

We had a better night, although DS decided to practice his shuffle-sit up routine at 1 am and it took quite a while to get him off again. Went to sleep at 7:30, massive feed at 10:30, awake 1:30 (fed), 5 (fed) and 7 so a great improvement on previous nights. Plus he woke up and started shuffling around at about 3 but got himslef back to sleep again. The thing that really seems to have helped is that he can roll himself onto his side to sleep and get into a comfy position .

Meg: your poor LO . Hopefully you can get advice from the paed soon. I think with eczema it's a case of finding the right combination of stuff - I know DH can't use E45 ro emollient creams at all cos it just makes it worse. He also finds the heat a problem, so the fan sounds a good idea.

Ginger: hopefully this is a blip and you'll get your nights back. I find DS goes through phases of being grumpy and clingy and I try to go witht he flow - perhaps a few nights of cuddling to sleep will get you back on track? Just a thought...

Re books and routine, no they didn;t help here. DS let us know when he needed a change in routine (i.e. naps in buggy to naps in cot) by refusing to sleep!

Ahh, thanks everyone. After the initial 30 mins screaming we had nothing until 11.30. We were in bed so took her in with us and she thrashed and sang and punched and kicked until 1 still at least there were no tears. The bed rail is a god send. Means I can actually turn my back for a few minutes and get some time cuddling DH and pretending we're young and irresponsible again

Meg, glad you sound happier. It is distressing, I remember crying in the street about it because it had got so bad at one point but then I cried in the street at anything a few months ago. Things have got easier in that respect Emap? I desperately wanted to work for them when I was younger. My sister did. I faniced myself as a editorial assistant on Practical Photography. I worked in book publishing for about 8 years and would have loved to move to magazine but the transition isn't that easy so I left publishing althogether. Still maybe I'll return in the future, I did enjoy it.

Slim, GET OUT only joking. You deserve a break. You've had it tough recently. Apparently a new developmental hurdle can unsettle them (excuse no. 453) so maybe once he's got used to the Babyslim shuffle he'll settle again. Also my lo has pretty much always slept on her side. I fretted about it at first but she just wouldn't settle any other way. She's started to roll onto her tummy to sleep now and I don't worry too much about that unless she's in bed with me although she can't roll back again so moans when she's had enough

LO is napping without putting up too much of a struggle. We've progressed to napping on a cot mattress on the floor in the lounge now which is where she seems most comfortable.

morning all. meg your poor ds. hope your appointment comes through quickly.
Slim for your better night. ds was also much happier when he could change positions himself when asleep.
Bags for your Good (ish) night.
Our was mixed. ds had his 2nd single vaccine yesterday (mealses this time)so had a bit of a temp and unsettled. went down in cot easily but woke about 1am very hot. had some calpol then slept until 5 and came in with us until 8. feel ok as got at least one 4 hour stretch in there.
another grey rainy day here. what happened to summer? x

Morning everyone. Well, after steeling ourselves for an awful night, it wasn't actually too bad - after his screaming fit in the evening, he woke at 1 and 5 for food (fell asleep on the boob both times and I certainly wasn't about to wake him to put into his cot) then 6 and came in with us til 7.30. Which by recent standards is a good night.

This morning his skin looks a lot less red - guess the Allergenics stuff has all come off now. He's just gone down for a nap in the cot - although it did take 20 mins for him to get to sleep, I think it's worth persisting with for now 'cause I get a precious half hour to catch up on MN!

x posted ginger. glad you had an ok night.

Another good night here only one waking at 12.30am feed & back to sleeep at 1am and awake at 7am - I feel almost human. She obviously did stir at 11.30pm but no screaming resisted urge to feed her before I turned in as I have realised she then wakes up at 6am for the day instead of 7am if I feed ther then. Well according to Elizabeth Pantley's definition she is sleeping through the night - but twice! One 5 hours to 12.30am and then six hours from 1am how weird.

Just to say that my DD really didn't sleep between 3-6 months - 5/6 night wakings were frequent so there is light at the end of the tunnel for many of you I hope.

Ginger where did you get your bed rail? I'd like one so could co-sleep when LO is unsettled (he sleeps much better next to me and I love it). But the only ones I've seen only fit child-size beds or divans.

meg sounds like a good night to me. glad his skin has calmed down a little bit too. 20 mins to settle is good so be proud of yourself. you're doing a great job, your ds lucked out getting you for his mummy

tapster what a great night and a not too early start either . x

Meg, my DH made it. [proud of her manly man emoticon] he's very good with wood

This one doesn't go the full length of the bed. It's probably the same size as one that fits a childs bed. It just means that she can't roll out although once she starts crawling I might have to be more observant again. I think I've seen one that fits under a slatted bed and (depending on your diy capabilities) it might be easy enough to adjust the divan ones.

ps. our night was good! i went to bed at 8.30 , DH got me up at 10.30 and i gave LO a dream feed. he woke up at 2.30 and i offeredto feed him again, but he started blowing raspberries on my boob (so hard not to laugh at that!) so we put him back in his cot without eating, and he chatted for a while and fell asleep until 6. fed at 6,then he slept until 7.30. brilliant. i just can't believe he went 10.30 to 6 without eating

brilliant amber
meg jojomamanbebe website sell a baby dan bed rail atht is suitable for slatted beds. think it's £26 but you get 10% off with MN. type bed rail into the search box and it's the first product it finds
Ginger of your handy dh!

Tam, I could start a thread on it. How handy is my man. He is briliant even if he is rubbish at the more domesticated stuff. He grew up on a farm with just boys tho.

Amber and for your brilliant night.

Amber: what a great night! Tapster - 6 hours . The last time I got 6 hrs sleep was when I was pg...

Meg: glad you had a better night and that LO is more comfortable

Glad for everyone's improved nights . Is there something in the water?

Ginger - yet another of your dh!

afternoon all, nice to have you back ginger, altho not
glad for those good nights out there, it is happening, if theres no illness, teething, developmental milestones, holidays ......anything i forgot?!!!

they'll get there, i just know they will [ever hopeful emoticon]

ooohhh and a quickie question. i've always let dd determine what time she has a nap, i mean, i dont try to get her to nap at set times rather take her cues of when shes sleepy.

just wondered what time everyones lo's have the last nap of the day and what time they wake up from it? does that make any diff to night sleep?

DS doesn't have nap times as such, but wants to sleep after 1.5-2hrs awake, and normally naps for 30-40 mins. Though occasionally throws a curveball by going for 1.hrs kip in pram, or (like right now) falling asleep on me while feeding, even though he'd only been up half an hour!

i have a loose rule of 'no naps after 5ish' so that he is nicely tired by 7pm start of bedtime. So if he doesn't wake up from this nap til after 3.30 then I will prob not let him nap again, but might put him to bed a bit early instead. (Normally his last nap is 4-4.30ish but as I said, today he has fallen asleep 'off schedule' )