Newborn sleeping

[Rebecca2089]

Hey everyone,

Our little girl was born 4 days ago and although its VERY early days we are really struggling with sleeptime (both day & night) although night is more of an issue.

Finding that our girl LOVES feeding (bottled) and seems as though we are constantly feeding what is usually every 2-3 hours @ 70ml. Despite my concerns about her feeding and constantly suckling for more we were told to feed on demand.

In the daytime she's feeding, we wind her then try to put down but have issues with going down alone or potentially suffering with wind?

Same story in the eve & its relentless. We feed, wind then we try and put her down and she just cries and screams until we pick her up. We've tried to improve winding technique, we've since introduced a pacifier (which is tempremental and falls out / she takes out).

We did find that on the way home from hospital she was in a car seat and we couldn't believe that was the first time she was content without being held so wondered if we need to go down the whole sleephead route for adding comfort. We had tried swaddling too BTW - hardly works as she manages to get hands out and just screams...

I just wondered if anyone has any help or advise at all on this?

X

Time and patience! Our eight week old refused to sleep anywhere other than our arms for about three weeks. We took three hour shifts holding him. Around then it became easier for him to fall asleep in our arms and then we'd transfer him to the sleepyhead. Now we can put him down in a sleepy mood and he will fall asleep on his own.

Why the rush to put her down? She's so new and tiny. Google the 4th trimester.

What are you putting her down into? My little one is now 6 weeks but we had similar at first. He's in a crib and has a rolled up blanket under his sheet to reduce the flat space ( effectively like s sleepyhead)

Congratulations! She's 96hrs old. Just feed her, wind her, change her and hold her. This is totally normal, and won't last long I promise (it just feels like it because you're shattered).

Have you anyone who can do this for you in the daytime so you can catch up on some sleep then? I did this and it saved my sanity.

Good luck

I know you’re probably still so tired and the hormones from birth will be floating around but I think you are expecting too much of your 4 day old. She’s brand new to the world and untill 4 days ago was used to be curled up warm inside you. It’s also very normal for babies to cluster feed in the evenings/nights. Cuddle her, let her sleep on you, she needs you to feel safe while she’s figuring out the world.

Congratulations, newborn snuggles are the best. My DS just turned one and honestly I miss those days, it doesn’t last long

She's only 4 days old, I know it feels like a lifetime just now but wherever momentous adjustments you are having to make to your life are nothing compared to what she's trying to figure out. She knows only you, only the warmth and comfort of being held by your body, and she just isn't ready to be put in a big square box all alone yet. She will be, you just need to give it time and go with what she needs from you just now.

Google the 4th trimester and it makes sense.

If she likes being swaddled we got swaddle blankets from Ziggybaby which had Velcro so he couldn't get his arms out. I'm not sure I'd recommend them though, they were a godsend at first but we had real problems when we had to stop using them.

Don't worry about the feeding. Both of mine were bottle fed on demand, some days they are loads and other days hardly anything. It's quite stressful but they have growth spurts and leaps and things which affect their appetites a lot.

*whatever not wherever

Congratulations!

All this is so so normal. Babies have tiny tiny stomachs and need to feed often. They also want to be close to you which is why putting them down makes them unsettled. It will get easier but for now you just need to go with it.

Hold her! It is normal and being exhausted is normal for new parents, I’m not sure not what else you expect from a newborn?

That sounds normal to me! I had to co sleep as they wouldn't go down. Tbh they're not meant to be put down at this age.

I agree with PPs, she is still very young. We spent several nights in the first weeks having to hold her and swap shifts.

A stretchy sling might help, it frees you up a little and you can relax on the sofa etc with baby attached.

Congratulations BTW

Hi Rebecca, congratulations! I agree with Fourth Trimester advice!

Depending on what you've read, the reality of newborn needs to wake and feed often, and be held close continuously, can be an enormous shock. She is behaving absolutely normally, so please don't worry.
Their stomachs are extremely small at this age, and they really do get hungry frequently. They also have an instinctual need to suck because they're expecting to be stimulating your boobs to make milk, but even if you're bottle feeding her this desire doesn't go away. The action of suckling also gives them real comfort and they need a lot of that as being born must be really traumatic even if they have a completely safe, fast, easy birth.
And waking a lot at night is very probably protective against SIDS because it helps them rouse from sleep that's too deep; they're still working out basic body systems at this age. Being close to your heartbeat helps them regulate theirs, and also skin-to-skin holding maintains their body temperature and calms them down a lot.
Napping and waking often during the day is also totally normal as they're just sorting out day and night.

My advice as you're bottlefeeding and won't have worries about nipple confusion is to persist with the dummy, gently help her learn to enjoy it, it's a replacement for boobs which she wants to suck for comfort (and there is nothing wrong with that).

But most of all I suggest looking on facebook or via local mum's groups for a local sling library, or just check out tutorials on youtube. Using woven wraps or soft stretchy slings will hopefully give her the same cosy feeling she got from the car chair, but safely. You can't sleep in them, but they do make pacing up and down at night a lot more comfortable for you, and going out is great too as she can nap in there. Search for "Wrap You In Love" on youtube, she has many tutorials for newborns, and a good facebook page too. You can buy secondhand wraps very cheaply on facebook too, look at Affordable Baby Slings for Sale or similar groups.

I'd also look at getting a bedside cot sorted, or there are other ways to have the baby next to you safely without risk of squashing her, so she feels safe. Trying to get newborns to sleep alone is an immense stress for everyone.

Good luck

Thank you all so so much for replying to us and offering advise, its hugely helpful and agreed, it is such a shock to us being our first, but reassuring that this is normal and made us see it in a different way! We just didn't know fullt what to expect.

Will be sure to look into slings as I had C Section so that will help!

I think we may look to do the shifts thing too as that will probably help us stay sane!

Thanks again all x

Hold her, take in turns to sleep

That's what we did

And every 2 hours is normal- google how tiny their stomachs are at this age