Help me make a plan for 2yo who still does not sleep

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My second DS is now 2. I'm struggling with his sleep. I now can get him to get into his bed voluntarily though I have to stay in the room, and he'll go to sleep ok at night. He has milk, bath, bed for 7pm. He still has a midday nap 1.5-2hrs - similar scenario to get him to sleep. He's in a toddler bed, night light on. He has a dummy. No comforter - never been interested.
He then usually wakes around 10pm but is easy to settle. However he then wakes again overnight around 3 or 4, demanding milk as well. He screams for it and gets out of bed and comes wandering to my room. I can get him to go back to sleep solo with milk though it takes a good 45 mins or he gets into bed with me and will sleep without it. He then wakes for the day at around 5:30.
We have improved somewhat as a few months ago I'd have to have my hands on him to go to sleep, and I'd have to sleep in his room.
As a baby he co-slept with me in sleepyhead, then cot around 6 months. Slept through initially at around 9 months and was ok till around 15 months, then it's backtracked to this disaster!
I need help forming a plan and sticking to it.
Should I put a gate back on his door so he can't get out?
I thought progressing to getting him to go to sleep without me there would be a start but it's really hard as it is as he just comes out of his room crying for me. I could shut the door I guess?
Then when he wakes in the night go and put him back in the bed till he calms then leave again. This is the hard bit as at the moment he would just start going mental again as soon as I put him in the bed. Do I wait until he's calmed down before I leave?
No eye contact or talking.
And the controlled crying thing. Do I leave him for 3 mins, then 5, 10 etc each night before going in?
Any other tips or advice? Thank you very much for reading this far!

My oldest was similar.
Be consistent and talk through the routine before bedtime so he has time to understand it before he gets tired.

Get a very set routine eg. Bath, PJs on, pick your toys to cuddle while I get your milk, story, brush teeth, kiss and cuddle.

After that go back in twice if he calls you, first time do what he's asking, second time say 'you need to go to sleep now I need to go and tidy' (gives him a reason why you're not staying in with him) and do what he's asked.

After that if he gets out of bed, take him back to bed and say 'you need to go to sleep, I'll come up and give you a cuddle once I've tidied'
Hopefully he'll give up and fall asleep eventually!

With the night time milk try telling him when you put him to bed that its the last of the milk, then when he wakes in the night tell him there isn't any. It might break the habit a bit easier if he thinks there's not any rather than that you're just not going and getting it for him.

Thank you. Did you have a gate on? What did you do in the night?

I'd start with cutting the milk out rather than dealing with the sleep directly.

Explain that during the night there's only water. That's he's a big boy now and only babies have milk in the night. Always leave a drink of water nearby for him overnight. If he wakes asking for milk, comfort him but stick to the new rule. Offer water and a cuddle and put him back to bed.

Once he's night weaned then you can deal with the sleep.

You must be knackered. It won't last forever.

For the getting off to sleep, try moving away step by step, can be just a few inches at a time. It may take weeks but eventually you will be on the landing and then out of sight.

I am pooped yup! I work and have another son too :-( need
To get this sorted ASAP!