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2.5yr old bedtime and nap battles

7 replies

Seraphina77 · 22/05/2018 20:15

Hi - I'm hoping someone may have some advice for me!
After using gradual retreat method at 18months old my son has been a relatively good sleeper, 7pm til 6am most nights. We had a lovely bedtime routine of bath, stories, lights off and cuddles then he will settle himself down to sleep.
This was until 7 weeks ago when we had a new baby! We expected some unsettled nights but bedtime has now become a horrific battle of wills. It starts with point blank refusal to go upstairs for a bath, followed by refusal to get out of the bath, refusal to get into bed, constant getting in and out of bed, crying, until finally after around 1.5hrs of us repeatedly putting him back into bed each time he gets out he will be so exhausted he will fall asleep. Naps are just not happening because I haven't got the energy to fight him into sleep in the day when I'm on my own and newborn won't be put down. I have resorted to taking them out in the car just to get them both to sleep.
I feel like the root cause is separation anxiety as a result of the new baby, but I am doing everything I can to alleviate that- whenever baby no2 is asleep I play with him, we read books when I am feeding, he changes his doll when baby needs changing, we have lots of cuddles and kisses and talk about how he is my favourite boy (newborn is a girl!).

I would really appreciate any advice on how to get him back into a good bedtime again without the battles. We have to sit in his room until he is fast asleep as if we leave he just gets up and out of bed. My husband is bearing the brunt of it as I am breastfeeding and often have to leave him to it. Most nights we are taking him up for a bath at 6.45pm and he isn't going to sleep until 8.30-9pm!!
Please help!! From a tired, emotional mummy!!

OP posts:
mrsoutnumbered · 22/05/2018 20:52

My youngest is 25 months and I am having similar battles (although with no younger sibling - she is the youngest).

She usually naps 12-1:30, and sleeps 7:30 - 6am ish. However, the last week she has become impossible to settle at bedtime and won't go to sleep until 9pm. Naps are also fought

I'm wondering if it's time to drop the nap? How long does your child usually nap?

Seraphina77 · 22/05/2018 21:06

So nice to know I am not alone in bedtime struggles!
If by some miracle I can get him to nap in his bed he will sleep for 1hr or 1hr 15mins. If it's in the car then it will only be around 45mins.

I don't know how you feel, but I feel like my son isn't ready to drop the nap yet as this only makes bedtime worse as he is so over tired!

We have tried using a reward chart - he gets a sticker for each step of bedtime routine last one being lying quietly in bed and going to sleep. Seemed to work a bit, might be worth a try for your little one?

OP posts:
mrsoutnumbered · 22/05/2018 21:14

Yeah mines always been a bad sleeper and generally seems to need less sleep than other kids her age, so I think she may be ready to drop her nap. Confused

A lot of it is a battle of wills I think. I had the same with my older two - it just seems to get easier gradually.

My eldest was 28 months when my son was born as was a NIGHT. MARE. She did settle down eventually but I remember having to be really strict about it all (she's 8 now so memory is a bit fuzzy).

ColonelCakes · 22/05/2018 21:18

My son abruptly stopped being good at bedtime around this age, we cut his nap (😪) and after a transition period it was soooo much better. The first week or so he was over tired at bedtime but then he started just sleeping really well (we introduced the gro clock at the same time).

Seraphina77 · 22/05/2018 21:25

Yes our son was 28 months and literally from the second we brought our new baby home he has turned into a terror at bedtime! Its exhausting!!

A groclock is a good idea- might look at getting one of those. The light evenings definitely dont help either!!

Thank you for your comments at least its nice to know I am not alone and, like everything, it is likely just a phase!

OP posts:
ColonelCakes · 23/05/2018 10:05

We also found that bedtime had got so grumpy that we completely changed the routine – started with an episode of something sleepy (in the night garden or a bedtime story) so that he knew bedtime was on its way, then a bath (going upstairs had become a big flashpoint and for him a bath was bribe, if bath is a problem for you guys then you could do TV or a story upstairs to kick things off).

scrivette · 23/05/2018 10:08

Same here - new baby and the naps dropped! He wasn't ready to drop the nap either and still naps twice a week a nursery, but I have given up with forcing him during the day.

Instead I moved bedtime slightly earlier (by half an hour) so he wasn't too overtired and he started sleeping better.

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