Won’t sleep unless I hold her

[Cording1]

Help me! 😩
My daughter is almost 11 months now and still won’t sleep well in her cot.

When she was younger she would sleep in the bed with me. She would wake at least 3 times a night for a feed and I was too tired to be getting up and down to feed her.

The health visitor told me off for letting her stay up so late and for letting her sleep in the same bed as me. I’ve managed to get to to go to sleep at around 8.30-9 (can’t seem to get her to sleep any earlier). I have a routine where we have nursery rhymes on then I brush her teeth and BF her but bf is the only way to get her to sleep then I have to put her in her cot as quietly as I can. If she wakes when I’m laying her down she goes absolutely mad and I have to hold her to sleep again. No matter how many times I try she’ll just scream the place down. She can wake 2 sometimes 3 times before i even go to bed so I have to repeat the feeding and holding her till she’s asleep. If she was in the bed with me she may wake for a feed but won’t wake up crying constantly like she does in her cot.

She gets up anytime between 8.30 to 9.45am. I sometimes have to wake her because I don’t want her sleepin too late.

She has a nap around 1.40/2pm. But again I have to hold her to get her to sleep. She refuses to go to sleep on her own. She will get hysterical if I let her cry and I don’t like her getting like that. When I manage to get her to sleep and lay her in her cot she does have her nap. There has been a few times when she wakes every time I put her down for a nap so I end up not letting her have a nap and keep her awake till bedtime.

Anyone have any tips on getting her to fall asleep on her own?
I’ve tried gentle music and the disappearing chair. I have tried stroking her but it doesn’t work. She sits straight back up and cries.
It’s really staring to get me down as I do this by myself. Rarely get help from my useless husband so I’m really getting stressed with it all 😩

Big hug as I have been there. No magic solutions but initial thoughts on reading your post.

Do you want her to sleep in a cot or do you feel like she ‘should’? Keep co-sleeping if it works better for you.

That’s a long time between nap and bedtime-perhaps another short nap?? If she’s overtired she will be harder to settle IME.

Sure you’ll get more good ideas to try. Hold on to the knowledge that she is going to change lots in the next few months and that will include sleep habits. This won’t last forever

I've an 11 month old atm too :) and she doesn't sleep for very long in her cot so she sleeps with me. She's up at 7ish, am nap around half 10 and pm nap around 3pm. I lie her on our bed for those naps as she'll sleep longer. For the morning nap she usually needs encouragement to nod off so I'll swaddle her.
As moreismore said are you putting her in her cot just cos you feel you 'should'? Officials warn about cosleeping and rightly so but there are ways to make it safer if that's what you need to do :) for breastfeeding it means easier night feeds too.
Also it's probably a phase and she will grow out if it eventually. They're only this young once!

I think it’s a bit of both. I’d like her to sleep in her cot so I can actually sleep by myself or sleep back in the bedroom with my partner but part of me loves having her in the bed and her wanting to cuddle up to me. She always roles over to me in the night and cuddles into me so I feel bad for wanting to put her in the cot. The health visitor told me not to let her sleep any later than 3pm but she will stay awake till that time anyway. If I let her nap then she will be up all night till around 11.
I hope so! It’s just so stressful every nap/sleep time