9 Week Old Is Just On A Whole Other Agenda!

[JLD1987]

Ok, so since my DD has been born, we have never had a schedule.
She didn’t eat well when she was born so developed jaundice. I had to frequently feed her to clear the jaundice so she didn’t need hospital treatment, even when she wasn’t that hungry. She’s never been a big eater, only moving from 2.5-4oz to 5oz the past couple of days. Her sleeping gives me a headache, she never sleeps longer than 4 hours at night, and just recently, she is fighting her sleep during the day no matter how hard I try to get her to nap. We’ve gone out in the pram, white noise, washing machine, me holding her and walking with her, shushing, baby swing, you name it I’ve tried it! Settling her back to sleep at night has become difficult The last few nights also! I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. Her eating isn’t even at set times, one day she’ll eat 7, 11, 3, 7, wtc, the next it’s completely different. I feel like we should have some kind of idea of routine at the minute, even if it is a loose one, but no day is ever the same!
Is she just being fussy at the moment? Will she eventually grow out of this even though she hasn’t Ever been a big eater? I feel like if she eats more, everything would work itself out!
I’m a single mum with no-one around to help, so any advice would be great, cause at the moment, I can feel wrinkles developing and grey hairs getting more and more prominent!!

At 9 weeks old your baby is so so young.

Have you heard of the fourth trimester? Worth reading up on.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but lack of sleep is to be fully expected and yes it's horrendous.

I'm not a single mum but as a breast feeding mum no one else was able to help with feeding in the early weeks.

It honestly sounds like your doing nothing 'wrong' but don't expect to much to soon.

Neither of my two slept for longer than 4 hours until they were around 6 months at least

Try get naps when you can (I know is easier said than done).

I found using a sling amazingly helpful in keeping young ones content during the day so I could get a wash on etc They often fall asleep before they realise it,

How old is she op??

My DS was an absolutely nightmare newborn.

He had jaundice too and wouldn't even eat the textbook amount.....newborn days were horrendous!

I had to just see through it, it was tough. He didn't do anything the HV or Midwife expected.

As long as she is gaining weight & there aren't any other obvious issues the HV won't be concerned.

Ps I've never had a schedule and always just fed responsively on demand.

Some babies are better sleepers other just arnt and increasing feed won't mean they sleep better.

It's sounds like you doing amazing x

Hiya...I have a 10 week old and know how hard it can be when you’re trying everything. We have absolutely no routine whatsoever during the day and like your LO have days where he will barely sleep at all and then the next will sleep all day. Some days he will feed every hour then the next he won’t be as interested, he doesn’t have a set time for eating and sleeping during the day.
He has started to sleep well on a night though for the past week and I think it’s because I’ve kept his bed time the same for a few weeks now. At 7 I’ll get him change or bathed and then changed (we don’t bath every night) pop him into his sleeping bag and put him on the mat to have a kick while I get his bottle ready (he’s breastfed with one formula bottle before bed) then at 7.30 I’ll feed him in darkness, wind half way, rest of the bottle, wind again and then down to sleep. He’s been asleep by 8.30pm and has recently in the last week gone from two night feeds to one (anywhere between 3-5am) right up until 8am. However all babies are different and my first born was up every two hours every night until he was 4 months old, then one night he miraculously slept 11 hours and has done ever since. (He’s nearly 4 years old) a routine will naturally fall into place in the next couple of months and you’ll start to recognise tired cues at the same times during the day etc. I hope she settles for you soon, it sounds like you’re doing a great job x

Sounds normal to me, she's not even 3 months old. Both of mine didn't have any sort of routine till about 6 months old.

Thanks all for the messages! Good to know I'm not doing anything wrong and some baby's are just fussier than others. I've had friends tell me that their kids were in routines by 3 months and I should try pushing one onto her, which I don't want to do. Hopefully she finds her own routine soon! I'm currently feeding on demand and letting her sleep when she wants. She's swaddled for bedtime but doesn't need it for daytime naps! I'll just keep going as I was, I guess we will get there soon enough!
Thanks guys

My DS is 9 weeks old. He has the bare bones of a routine but every day is different. Basically:

Wake at 7am then a feed and top and tail, after that I feed every 2-3hours, he stays awake for 1 hour 15 mins (or less if he seems really tired but that time seems to work pretty well for him), naps vary from 20mins to 2 hours depending on what he feels. I do try to settle him for a bit longer if he wakes unhappy but it invariably doesn't work. Bath and big feed between 6-7pm and then bed at 7pm. I dream feed him at around 10/11pm then he usually wakes for a feed at 3/4am then goes till 7am.

Phew! That sounds very much like a routine when I write it out like that! I guess the basically premise is bed and wake at the same time, I just increase the amount of naps if he has shorter naps during the day, ideally I try not to feed more regularly than 2 hourly but if he seems hungry I will of course feed him.

I guess as he gets older I'll space things out more and try to get him to nap at more structured times but it seems to work for him currently.

You're doing a great job.. take each day as it comes and a routine will come eventually.

Ignore the idea of a routine right now - it just adds to the stress in my experience. Sleeping four hours at night at that age is actually really really good. For comparison, I didn’t get 4 hour chunks until about 5 months old. It felt brutal at the time.

I found my baby naturally fell into a routine as she got older. I think it’s much less stressful to just go with the flow by feeding on demand and keeping an eye on the clock for how long baby’s been awake so you know when to encourage them to go back to sleep. It gets loads easier as they get older with longer chunks of sleep and longer gaps between feeds. You’ll get there.

Some babies seem to be easier to "get" into a routine. I tried but gave up because it was too stressful! When mine got into a routine, it was because they started doing things at the same sort of time. The only thing I did was when I started weaning onto food, I always gave the meals at roughly the same times. Also, when they are older, babies can "hang on" a bit for lunch because you can distract them more easily with toys etc. This is very difficult with young babies.
I echo mrsbrightside's comments, above.

Sleeping for 4 hour stretches at 9 weeks is amazing! Mine didn't sleep for longer than 2 hours for the first 6 months. Honestly I wouldn't expect anything closely resembling a routine until 3 months at the absolute earliest, she's still v tiny. My dd naturally developed a very loose routine about 6/7 months.

Id honestly stop worrying about what times they eat - th ey re a baby! It will vary day to day and hopefully settle eventually into their routine. Don't worry what others are doing.

Relax. Honestly. Stop timing meals and sleeps (easier said than done) and accept you have a little baby who will do this for a while x

Oh god at 7 months we still have no routine 😂 I just feed when hungry and put to sleep when sleepy! Works for us though.

My baby is 19 weeks and I can't push a routine on him. Only thing I can be sure of is that he generally will sleep after his last b feed at 9.30pm, but thats only because I feed him to sleep.

Last night he was up after four hours then again several hours later and then again at 7.30am