Feeding to sleep

[Mimmm]

I have an almost 5 month LB. I've read so much about self settling, eat play sleep and so on. And for 4 months I've struggled to follow it.

We had 2 weeks when we could put him in chair, give him a dummy and a blanket hold his hand and he'd drift off for a good nap. Admittedly this was in what I think was his 4 month regression, his night sleeps then were awful. But now the only way I can get him to sleep is boob or buggy. I hate when he cries and I struggled for so long with attempting self settling it was torture that were now back feeding to sleep and I'm worried I will be doing this in the weeks, months and years ahead. I just can't see a way this will change.

His dad sees no issue with this, and if I try to broach it he says I'll look after him and you can go to work. I can't even get him to put our boy in his cot drowsy after a bottle.

I've even asked my health visitor for advice but she said continue with it as it's easy and he'll just stop. Then she sent me to a breastfeeding group! Just don't know what to do for the best

I think you're expecting too much from your little one regarding self settling. He will do it when he's ready. My 6 month DS has only just started staying awake after a feed and now requires rocking to sleep. I'd prefer the feeding to sleep

I did either boob or buggy (or in car seat) until 12 months. Then self soothe after that, was much easier when they were older.

Many naps were taken on my knee whilst I was watching TV.

I also didn't do any kind of routine, eat play sleep or whatever because I found every day was different and I hate routines! I like being a bit spontaneous, so I went out if it was dry, might go to do shopping if raining etc. Might go out 3 times in 1 day or none!

Have a routine if it suits you, but I think people only suggest this as a guide/suggestion.

5 months old is stills really young to self settle!

I breast fed for 9 months and fed to sleep every nap and sleep for that time, then until around 12/13 months we used stay in the room with her, talking, ticking her, just generally being there until we decided to do gradual withdrawal. This worked a treat and writhing 3 nights she was self settling.

I have three kids, including a six month old baby. All have been fed to sleep until they were 12-14 months. What’s not to love? Baby loves it, it works, they don’t cry.
Once hey are older I think it’s easier to hold their hand, shush pat them to sleep etc. They do eventually sleep on their own.
I’d recommend throwing the books away and just enjoying your baby. Little ones love cuddles and being held. Just try to nap when you can (give baby to partner at weekends so you can have a lie in).
There’s no need to leave your baby to cry.
Also, do you use a dummy? I find that helps

Enjoy it :) my first would feed to sleep but them need the same after every sleep cycle so we did some sleep training at 5 months which worked wonders. My 2nd is now 12 weeks and I feed her to sleep and she sleeps through 7pm-5am. They are all different and if feeding to sleep is working for you just enjoy it!
Obviously if you want to teach some self settling there are gentle methods, like unlatching from boob just before they fall asleep and gradually unlatching sooner and sooner (once they have stopped feeding, obviously!) but don't feel like it is something you have to do if you are happy to always be the one to put lo to bed.

Feed to sleep is
a) biologically natural
b) the easiest and least stressful
c) quickest

in our house

So i'm keeping doing it- he's 10mo and i'm sure he'll stop sometime but he clearly needs the milk as when he drops off faster, he wakes sooner

I always did boob/buggy/car/cuddle/rock to sleep for every nap until DD was about 12 months when she could put herself to sleep. Feeding to sleep is absolutely fine while they are still young. It's a very useful tool, make the most of it while you can!

He will stop eventually OP and then you can try other strategies. For us feeding to sleep stopped working around 7 months, then we did gradual retreat and now DD (9 months) gets herself off to sleep no bother.

The bigger issue from your post is that it sounds like your partner is shirking his responsibilities to his child. What he said to you is not really on. I'm back at work now and I can tell you I find it a damn sight easier than being with a 5 mo all day!