Reassure I’m not messing up my baby’s sleep forever!

[Lemondrop99]

My baby was a terrible sleeper so we followed a sleep programme.

He was sleeping

9.30am 30 mins
12.30pm 2-2.5hrs
4.30pm 30 mins

Around 5 months he started fighting the last nap. We gave up at 6 months and for a while he just did the first two naps. The sleep programme said he would be ok to drop the nap and go through to a 6.30/7pm bedtime.

My DS really struggled to jump to the 4 hrs awake after the last nap. Really he could only do 3-3.5hrs and as often very tearful at bath time.

Then he cut down his lunch nap to 1.5hrs for a few days, then he increased his morning nap to 1.5hrs. Now he naturally wants to do approx

9.30-11 morning nap
2-3.30 afternoon nap

This then gets him through nicely to a 7pm bedtime.

I don’t know whether to stick with this or try to put him back on the programme. Even when he does a short morning nap, he’s still only doing 1.5 hrs at lunch for some reason.

Part of me thinks his natural routine is better, spreads naps and awake windows more evenly through the day and gets him to bed better.

Part of me is horrified that his 2-2.5hr naps seem to have disappeared. He was on a good solid lunch time nap which I thought would serve him well for a couple of years. I assume he will adjust back to this later as he gets older?

The other really annoying thing is that he only sleep in his cot, and pushing his second nap into the late afternoon has rendered us housebound again where as on the old schedule, he’d be up by 2.30pm and we could go out for the afternoon.

I’m not sure which way to go. Shall I just follow baby’s lead and see what happens? Even if it means we’re stuck indoors again. Or shall I try and persuade him back onto his old routine and hope the 2-2.5hr nap comes back?

NB: yes I overthink his sleep as he is hysterical when overtired so I need to be on top of it. Plus nights have only very recently started improving and I’m terrified of it all going wrong again!!

Follow the baby's lead. I assume he's older than 6 months now, two naps seems ok. Some babies will never go for long naps (both my children had 30 min sleep cycles for MONTHS, and then rarely slept longer than 1.5 hours at a time), and they all change through time. You will really help yourself by relaxing about the whole thing. I think schedules can be helpful when they're really small as time just disappears with a newborn, but you should let your instincts take over a bit now, and follow his cues.

I do understand the fear of overtiredness, but the best thing if you're worried isn't to force him to comply to a routine, but just set up conditions for cuddles and calmness if you think it might have been a bit long or he's looking zoned out. If he's tired, then he'll go for it.
Also, about napping only in the cot, have you tried using a sling? He's still small enough that carrying for a long time in a properly supported ergonomic carrier or wrap wouldn't kill your back, and you could get out and do stuff. Or try the pushchair again- as well as timings changing, sometimes their preferences for where they will sleep adjust too.

Good luck!

I should add, both my children didn't go for a late afternoon nap at all, they both preferred morning or just post-lunch sleeps.
2 year old currently still sleepy by 11/11.30 am, sleeps between an hour to 1.5, and that's her only nap of the day.
It stressed me with first child, but not with second!

Thanks France. You’re reply is appreciated

He’s just about to turn 7 months. He used to sleep in a sling when he was younger but just fights it now. He won’t sleep in my arms any more either. Or the car seat unless shattered. I can persuade him to sleep in the pushchair but I have to time it right, put a snoozeshade over him and play white noise, then he’ll only ever do one cycle and I end up feeling bad as I know he’ll sleep longer at home.

He was a tough newborn. Basically screamed at me for 4 months solid, part of which was due to over tiredness. He’s much better now he’s older, but those early months stressed me so much that now I fear upsetting our routine and going back there! I am trying to relax and rest his boundaries a bit more, to give us both more freedom, but it’s hard. Especially now nights have improved, I’m so scared to lose our previous sleep when we’ve only just started clawing it back.

I know two 1.5hr naps is good compared to some babies, it’s just that he was capable of doing much longer and I’m not sure why he’s stopped. I am going to try to follow his flow for a bit though.

It might well go to sh** again anyway as there's another sleep regression at 8-10 mo I'm afraid. We're only just starting to come up out of that one and he's still waking a lot, just no longer a nightmare to get to bed in the first place

oh, and has started having one longggggggggg nap at lunch time, no fuss.

And Lemondrop

Baby sleep is not linear, it doesn't just get better and better, it gets worse too
sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/11/18/what-the-heck-goes-wrong-sleep-wise-at-8-10-months/