Just done CC....

[ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets]

It's taken an hour but he's finally asleep.

He's been in my bed up to now and he's still fed during the night as he's still breastfed.

Do I feed him in the night now or not?

I can't do this two or three times in the night, the whole street will be awake.

Can I ask how old? I'm going to have to do this for my 13 month old...yried last night and I gave in to cuddles after 50 mins.

I was advised that if a baby is usually fed to sleep and has never self settled then it’s best to sleep train in two phases. Phase 1 is cold turkey on the night feeds, but you can do anything else to settle them (eg rocking to sleep), then phase 2 is getting them to settle in their cot, which you can do by whatever method you choose (eg gradual retreat or CC) depending on preference.

FWIW you are doing CC at bedtime I think it would be inconsistent and pointless to feed baby to sleep through the night.

How old is the baby?

You’ve gone from feeding him in the night and him sleeping with you to cc?! I’m shocked. That’s really harsh. Surely you try to drop the night feeds first and then encourage him into his own bed.
I think cc is cruel.. but especially for a baby that’s enjoyed being next you until now and is usually breastfed to sleep

You can't just stop night feeds and straight into a cot like that surely?
Can't you do it gradually?

How many feeds in the night? And how old is baby? I would still feed and then put straight back in the cot and CC if he doesn’t settle. When you’ve cracked the self settling then you can start to cut down the feeds.

Good luck!

I don't think it's in inconsistent or pointless to self sooth to sleep and feed during the night, if a baby is able to self sooth that's still a skill learned, whether they occasionally fall asleep feeding or not.
My DC was putting himself to sleep early on, but some evenings fell asleep on the last bottle and during the 4 month regression woke to feed in the night and sometimes fell asleep feeding then. That doesn't mean they suddenly loose the ability to be put down awake.

Ah bollocks I've made a right mess of this

I tried cutting out night feeds but he just wasn't having it.

I'll keep feeding him in the night.

He's 11.5 months.

Sometimes 2 feeds, sometimes 4 or 5 depending on his mood.

I'm really upset. I don't think I'm ready for him to move to his own room but everyone kept on as I'm going back to work soon.

“I don't think it's in inconsistent or pointless to self sooth to sleep and feed during the night”

Of course it’s inconsistent if you do CC sometimes and not each time.

The whole point is that they learn that crying won’t result in the reward (milk and/or cuddle) and they are supposed to go to sleep. The more consistent you are the quicker they learn so there is actually less crying overall. If some of the crying is “rewarded” with milk/cuddles they will carry on crying for a very long time indeed in the hope that this time they’ll get the reward.

I’m not advocating CC btw, but I’m not against it either, i just think if you’re going to do it, you have to do it properly and be consistent or there’s no point.

Personally I can’t bear DS getting hysterical but extreme sleep deprivation and the failure of gentle methods has made me resort to sleep training, and letting your baby cry is bad enough when it works, let alone when it doesn’t.

“I don't think I'm ready for him to move to his own room but everyone kept on as I'm going back to work soon.”

Who is “everyone”?
Are you happy with the amount of sleep you’re getting atm?
Are they giving well meaning advice because you’re exhausted, or are they just being interfering and you are happy with how things are?

Imo you have two options, either continue cosleeping and feeding at night (which is perfectly valid if that’s what you want to do, f* what the others say) or you teach baby to sleep in their cot, but you can do that quite gradually if you want. CC is not the only option.

I do think though that if you’re doing option 2 you need to go cold turkey on the night feeds and preferably with help from someone else (ie who doesn’t smell of milk) to do the settling. When we did it, it really wasn’t as bad as we feared. The first night or two were hard but after that was fine. It was just bloody hard holding him all night so you need a plan for phase 2!!

Ignore other people. If you're not ready then don't do it. Dd was 2.5 when I night weaned. She was old enough for me to explain to her what was happening. We didn't go cold turkey, it took us about a week and wasn't really traumatic at all. She was already in her own bed for most of the night (usually in with us in the early hours) and that was from about 18 months. Moving to her own bed was her choice, one day she asked to go to sleep there, I wasn't really ready but she wanted to. Don't rush things, especially if it's the pressure of other people making you do it.
When your ds wakes up tonight have cuddles and feed if you want to

OP... DD is 2. Im a lone parent and I work FT. I also cosleep and still BF between 0 and 4 times a night.

EVERYONE says DD should be sleeping alone/ through/ weaned etc etc - but not one of them are here in the night, when she’s had a bad dream, or when she has a cold, or when I’m on a project deadline and working through the night, stopping only when she wakes up for a feed/cuddle.

So they can fuck the fuck off as far as I’m concerned. Suggest you take a similarly robust approach- or you’ll find the next 17 years hard going - everyones a critic! good luck!

I thought the whole point is that they learn to be put down awake and settle themselves to sleep, rather than learn crying is fruitless.

All babies sometimes fall asleep on a feed whether they have the ability to get themselves to sleep or not.

If the baby learns to self settle, that should help eliminate the comfort feeds, so only the genuine hunger remains. At 11.5 Months I'd be surprised if a baby was waking 4 or 5 times a night actually hungry, it's far more likely he just needs a way of falling asleep without suckling.

DS is 20mo. He goes to sleep in his cot at 7ish. Wakes at 10ish for a cuddle. Midnight for a feed. 3am he comes in with me.

That's as far as I've got. God speed!

You do what you need to OP. There's only so much sleep deprivation one can take. We did cc at 7 months, it took 3 nights and dd slept mostly through the night, or at least 6 hours or so from then. Now 10 months.
I set a minimum amount of hours after bedtime before I would feed if she woke -I follow the timings in the night too. If she's still crying after the time has elapsed I'll go in and make a judgement as to whether food is the problem.
I wouldnt worry about the neighbours, it doesn't go on for more than a few nights.
I woukd say that if you go away on holiday or if the baby is very sick, it does tend to go out the window.but you can get back on track a lot quicker when repeated.

I was in a similar situation with my youngest son. I concentrated on night weaning and getting him in his own cot at 14 months. However, I never left him alone. I cuddled/rocked to sleep and did the same if he woke at night (and offered water if needed). Could you try that?

He's doing better now at 16 months so I'm starting to encourage gently learning to fall asleep on his own without rocking (reading and singing to sleep holding his hand) . It will take time though - I don't want to force him. I know he will get there with time like his brother did. I never co-slept with my eldest so it was a bit of a different situation.

Best of luck. It's tough x

“I thought the whole point is that they learn to be put down awake and settle themselves to sleep, rather than learn crying is fruitless.”

Well it depends what your baby does when you put them down awake. If they are sometimes calm and manage to settle themselves to sleep, you know they’ve learned the skill and can do it. But if they cry every time you put them down, you have to be willing to let them cry to see if they will calm down (sooner or later) and self settle, which means if you’re not willing to leave them to cry, they might not learn. Or in the case of my DS, he was able to self settle but just didn’t want to - he knew that crying got him milk or cuddles so that’s what he did.

Sorry I just read posts properly, if you're only doing it because other people say so you should ignore them. We did it as dd was waking every 45 mins in the night and we couldn't go on. Best wishes x

“You do what you need to OP. There's only so much sleep deprivation one can take.”

Totally agree with this.

But as I said in a previous post, it depends if you’re doing CC because you’re chronically sleep deprived and it’s a last resort, or just because other people are telling you to.

LOL cross post!

I’ve been there Lindah

He woke crying, so I've brought him back.

We're totally not ready to be separated!

He's my last, and I'm not ready for no more babies in my bed.

We're both getting enough sleep and weren't having any problems, so balls to it.

Everyone can sod off!

Everyone, as in those that told me I should move him, not you lot

Thank you for your help.

Honestly you'll be happier for it. Do it if you want to but if it's only because of others judgement then fuck them. I'm at work, DS is 18 months, we share a bed and he Breastfeed's through the night. It's lovely actually 😊

“We're both getting enough sleep and weren't having any problems, so balls to it.”

In that case you were mad to do it in the first place.

Ignore them and carry on!