Hi everyone,
DS age 6 years, is basically terrified of sleeping in a bedroom on his own.
He's never been comfortable sleeping on his own really, but has managed for lengths of time (sometimes weeks sometimes a month or two), and then has always reverted back to being terrified. Most of the time these periods of independence have been his idea, or have come about in a fairly natural way rather than us constantly pushing him, as he gets very upset.
He has a similar bedtime routine every night, and his room of choice was decorated and furnished with his involvement, to make sure that nothing triggered his anxieties. He has a night light as well as various cuddly toys and comfort objects.
Can anyone suggest anything that we may be able to do to help him?
It is getting overwhelming for us now, as he is sometimes disturbing his 2.5y/o DD and spending hours screaming/whimpering about not wanting to go to sleep or even get into his bed if someone isn't in the room with him, (for example when DH is working a late shift and it's just me getting the kids to bed).
We have tried being very flexible with him with sleep arrangements, as advised by a HV, to reinforce his confidence around bedtimes and try not to make it all into too much of a 'thing', but DS is spending as much time in our bed now as DH is at the moment. DS often wakes DH in the middle of the night to swap beds as well, so DS can sleep next to me, and with DH working shifts and sometimes getting up at 2 or 3am it's making DH exhausted.
On rare occasions when we've lost our rag with him, we have tried just seeing if he will eventually go to sleep in his own bed, without anyone, like an older kids version of cry it out I suppose. But to date he has outlasted DH and I's nerves, disturbed DD, or has stayed up until DH and I have to go to bed, and will then not leave us alone in bed until we get him to sleep.
I'd really just like for him to be happy and comfortable at bedtime and not tired from bed swapping and refusing to go to sleep.
If anyone has any advice I'd be really grateful!
On a side note, DS is just about to start a short anxiety management course as he is a worrier about other things in life, however this will not really be focused on his sleep, but I am hopeful that maybe it may have a knock on effect?
Thanks everyone!